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Why would he come back five years after leaving me just to leave me again?


charis32

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I don’t understand how someone could hurt you by leaving during a major surgery (claiming they are embarrassed for showing up at hospital drunk in front of your parents) could come back five years later stating they want to work at having a relationship with you. Just to dump you quite callously over email because of one fight. Also why would they get so angry just bc you asked if they felt the same way as five years ago bc they don’t seem as excited about you. Why would they take that as a criticism. So let’s say they left bc they realized they don’t have feelings for you why would they blame you for everything and say you’ve been acting like an / miserable and take no responsibility. And how could they cut you off literally overnight when they texted you everyday for the past four months. I lean toward he must not care but then why buy me expensive gifts and travel for an hour to see me each time

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You're asking the wrong questions and no one on here can give you the answers. Even the responses on your other post about his Netflix are just speculation (though I imagine we are correct about him simply not caring).

 

It would better serve you to ask yourself why you accepted someone back who treated you in the described manner and why you're still obsessing about them now? The only way you're going to stop being in pain is by examining what in yourself is drawn to this toxic dynamic so you can stop repeating the pattern. Stop trying to make sense or his actions and focus on what you can do for yourself right now

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Just having a bad night I guess and the last one revolves around how toxic it was. I was curious more about why someone would blame you for everything and why they come back in the first place if they resented you so much rather than about the dynamics etc

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If you want to be happy in the future focus on taking your own inventory instead of someone else’s. Nothing will ever get solved if you spend all your time deflecting blame onto the other person instead of working on yourself.

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You need to stop trying with this jerk. He hasn't changed and probably won't. Sometimes people like the comfort of something familiar, but he's still the same person who showed up drunk at the hospital and dumped you right then and there. Please block and delete him for good!

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Just having a bad night I guess and the last one revolves around how toxic it was. I was curious more about why someone would blame you for everything and why they come back in the first place if they resented you so much rather than about the dynamics etc

 

Because it's toxic. Because they are toxic for you and you two are not the right match.

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