charis32 Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 I don’t understand how someone could hurt you by leaving during a major surgery (claiming they are embarrassed for showing up at hospital drunk in front of your parents) could come back five years later stating they want to work at having a relationship with you. Just to dump you quite callously over email because of one fight. Also why would they get so angry just bc you asked if they felt the same way as five years ago bc they don’t seem as excited about you. Why would they take that as a criticism. So let’s say they left bc they realized they don’t have feelings for you why would they blame you for everything and say you’ve been acting like an / miserable and take no responsibility. And how could they cut you off literally overnight when they texted you everyday for the past four months. I lean toward he must not care but then why buy me expensive gifts and travel for an hour to see me each time Link to comment
SGH Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 You're asking the wrong questions and no one on here can give you the answers. Even the responses on your other post about his Netflix are just speculation (though I imagine we are correct about him simply not caring). It would better serve you to ask yourself why you accepted someone back who treated you in the described manner and why you're still obsessing about them now? The only way you're going to stop being in pain is by examining what in yourself is drawn to this toxic dynamic so you can stop repeating the pattern. Stop trying to make sense or his actions and focus on what you can do for yourself right now Link to comment
charis32 Posted April 4, 2019 Author Share Posted April 4, 2019 I just reread my posts from five years ago and it seems like I was asking the same questions back then too. Time to let this one go. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 You are not supposed to have multiple accounts Link to comment
charis32 Posted April 4, 2019 Author Share Posted April 4, 2019 I forgot my password on this one that’s why I opened the other one. I will close the one Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Did you read anything that we wrote in your other thread? There were over 200 response. Why are you starting this up again? Link to comment
charis32 Posted April 4, 2019 Author Share Posted April 4, 2019 Just having a bad night I guess and the last one revolves around how toxic it was. I was curious more about why someone would blame you for everything and why they come back in the first place if they resented you so much rather than about the dynamics etc Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Go back and read the other thread. Asking the same questions, over and over, is not helpful for you. Link to comment
maew Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 If you want to be happy in the future focus on taking your own inventory instead of someone else’s. Nothing will ever get solved if you spend all your time deflecting blame onto the other person instead of working on yourself. Link to comment
RayofLighten Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Why the hell did you get back with this guy? Link to comment
Annia Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 You need to stop trying with this jerk. He hasn't changed and probably won't. Sometimes people like the comfort of something familiar, but he's still the same person who showed up drunk at the hospital and dumped you right then and there. Please block and delete him for good! Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 It's called ghostly lover syndrome - they temporarily think of all the good times but not the bad. Then when you do briefly get back together, they realize the love is gone. You get one chance at love per-person. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 He showed you what he was made of the first time, so why are you surprised that he just confirmed it? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 Just having a bad night I guess and the last one revolves around how toxic it was. I was curious more about why someone would blame you for everything and why they come back in the first place if they resented you so much rather than about the dynamics etc Because it's toxic. Because they are toxic for you and you two are not the right match. Link to comment
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