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Thread: Would like several opinions regarding my issue.

  1. #11
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    Thank you for your reply. Yes its complicated situation, i wasnt aware of this child early in r.ship.,just his other kid from another state where his kids mom is playing games. He does love his boy more then anything. His mom likes to play games as well, and dragging him away to Iowa, (we live in Ohio btw) would be terrible idea for the childs well being and security, it is believed by all those involved that her reasons for wanting this is solely for selfish reasons. All the boys family and support system are here. My fiance tries to communicate with her about issues regarding child but she acts elusive, just says "he just needs his meds" while fiance pushing for child to have counseling as well. She never calls, boy always asking to call mom. She sees him every other weekend, im doing ALL the mom stuff. My fiance believes that him moving to wherever she goes will give her upper hand and ability to control,esp if its results in him losing me and having to move somewhere he knows will be detrimental to his profession/happiness. He is ticked by all this. Hopefully we can find legal help

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vettech
    Thank you for your reply. Yes its complicated situation, i wasnt aware of this child early in r.ship.,just his other kid from another state where his kids mom is playing games. He does love his boy more then anything. His mom likes to play games as well, and dragging him away to Iowa, (we live in Ohio btw) would be terrible idea for the childs well being and security, it is believed by all those involved that her reasons for wanting this is solely for selfish reasons. All the boys family and support system are here. My fiance tries to communicate with her about issues regarding child but she acts elusive, just says "he just needs his meds" while fiance pushing for child to have counseling as well. She never calls, boy always asking to call mom. She sees him every other weekend, im doing ALL the mom stuff. My fiance believes that him moving to wherever she goes will give her upper hand and ability to control,esp if its results in him losing me and having to move somewhere he knows will be detrimental to his profession/happiness. He is ticked by all this. Hopefully we can find legal help
    Breathe. All things come to pass. Some things take longer. This will resolve itself! Your job isn't to constantly take on that emotional baggage and carry it. I'm not sure why you weren't aware of the child early on but I think that's besides the point (maybe he cheated, maybe you both were off and on in your relationship and so were they, maybe he/the father himself didn't know about the child - so what). The point is you are at this place now. Take a breather. I know you give a lot but you will have to back off and take care of yourself too.

    I really don't think you deserve to be in the midst of this but it seems like a choice you've been comfortable with for awhile. Yes, seek the legal help you need as a family but be prepared that this might not have been what you signed up for and it may be just the start of something you don't want to see to the end. That is perfectly ok and you are absolutely entitled to walking away if that's what you decide. Make peace.

  3. #13
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    I cant recall the specifics of the case but i remember the lawyer saying my fiance needs to file for visition. She left his name off birth certificate as well. Couldnt even afford the lawyer. I have alot friends/family here in ohio that have complained about the laws regarding fathers rights here in ohio

  4. #14
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    Thank you for your reply, my fiance and i have benn enganged for about 1 year now. Our r.ship is very solid. My fiance and childs mom were never married. They both left ohio together cause she told him her brother has a job for him in iowa, when they got there it was a lie, no job opprtunities at all. Middle of rural nowhere. His childs mom dumped him while she was pregnant. He had no one in iowa to help him, so he was stuck in a state with nowhere to stay, no money,etc.. so he came back home to ohio. He tried fighting to be therecwhen baby was born but she refused,she also refused to put his name on birth certificate. He asked lawyers about his options, i even asked the lawyers i knew for advice, they say he needed lawyer to fight for visitation, but couldnt afford it. Ohio doesnt give fathers automatic rights if child was born out of wedlock. Even if child support is in place! I have here an open window, a legal website explaining these rights in ohio. I can post the link here once i fugured out how to attach the file

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