Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: Unable to commit? Maybe its still to soon?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    138

    Unable to commit? Maybe its still to soon?

    Hey peeps,

    Hope everyone is well here, so i have been chatting to a few girls, going to pubs with friends, gyming 5 days a week which is going good but I still cant connect with female wherever I go :-(

    Man, women are always complimenting me on how good looking I am, how dedicated I am to keeping a healthy lifestyle, some even wanted a serious relationship lol but here's the thing, as soon as a woman gets close to me I pull away and shut myself off from her, and I had a few they could have me so happy, the one I really liked, who knows my back story, now has bf :-( we still friends but damn could have been more :-(

    So yeah besides counseling, is there any other way i can open up? Life is too short to cry over spilled milk so I want to make the best of it.

    Thank you ladies and gentlemen :-)

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,458
    Gender
    Female
    Can you think of any reasons why you might be pulling away from women? Have you had many relationships before?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,251
    What do you mean by too soon?
    Have you recently split from someone?

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    138
    2 years ago my ex wife had an affair, few months later she fell pregnant, divorced me 2 months later and decided to start a life with her affair partner, not going into detail over this...

    Think im pulling away because I'm afraid to get hurt :-( I know there is no timeline to heal but I'm just a little frustrated that I'm missing out on life...

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,584
    Having read some of your previous posts, it is clear this was a very painful split for you. Understandably so.

    Have you tried counseling to help you untangle your emotions and get back to a more confident place? It sounds like you're doing what you can to improve your life, but the damage from the betrayal is still quite significant. A good professional should be able to help you navigate that.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    138
    hey Miss Canuck, you are spot on, the betrayal still haunts me to this day :-( sometimes I feel its unfair how happy she is while I got tossed aside like an old newspaper but I also need to stop the victim mentality and toss those thoughts aside,

    I have been to therapy, it was good but I feel this is a battle I have to fight....

  8. #7
    After seeing the posts you have submitted over the past several months i can see that her betrayal cut pretty deep and you are still unable to let it go so it's hindering your ability to move on. I would say continue with therapy as it seems to be only thing helping.
    Last edited by RayofLighten; 04-02-2019 at 06:16 AM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,318
    Gender
    Female
    Try reading some books and articles on getting rid of emotional baggage. You shouldn't date until that happens, because a new woman shouldn't pay the price for a crime your ex committed. You need to realize there are no guarantees in life. Get to the mindset that you only have control of 2 things. 1. Be the best bf you can be, putting in the effort it takes to be a good partner. 2. Choose a partner who lacks red flags and who you see is a good risk for your heart.

    And then just hope for the best, but if it falls apart, you will have made sure you've kept a good support system of friends and family and a full life besides having a gf, so you will survive and move on.

    As for the friend, you might want to let that friendship fade away as you're pouring energy into a person who is taken, and is she really that ethical if she's continuing to communicate with a guy who has a crush on her when she has a bf?

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    1,139
    It sounds like you are on the rebound - still wounded from the breakup. How long was the relationship and when was the date of breakup? It can take years to heal.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    1,164
    Gender
    Female
    You seem a bit superficial. Just being real here. You go to the pub and the gym a lot, it seems. How do you expect to meet quality 'females'?

    Look at your other interests and see if you can come up with something better. Dating: you only get out of it what you put into it so start having a look more closely at your interests and goals.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •