EX wants to get back together but she almost slept with someone else

Hello, first time posting here I just don't know what I should do. My EX and I have broken up for a couple weeks now, we've been together for a year, and within these two weeks she has expressed herself as wanting me sexually, I told her I did not want to just be there for sex and I wanted all of her. In turn of this, we went out together and I found out that she had almost had sex with somebody else, she told me it almost happened but she just couldn't go through with it(They kissed and the other guy touched her but then she had to stop) because she still loves me and she was not comfortable with the other person. She refuses to tell me who it is because she knows I will probably flame them out. But now we have been talking and she say's she might want to get back together, just need's to really think about it. My problem is I literally can't stop thinking about her doing anything with another man, it's haunting me, but I love her. This girl is my best friend, everything feels right with her, and I can honestly say I love her and I have never been more comfortable with someone before. What do I do.

Hello, first time posting here I just don't know what I should do. My EX and I have broken up for a couple weeks now, we've been together for a year, and within these two weeks she has expressed herself as wanting me sexually, I told her I did not want to just be there for sex and I wanted all of her. In turn of this, we went out together and I found out that she had almost had sex with somebody else, she told me it almost happened but she just couldn't go through with it(They kissed and the other guy touched her but then she had to stop) because she still loves me and she was not comfortable with the other person. She refuses to tell me who it is because she knows I will probably flame them out. But now we have been talking and she say's she might want to get back together, just need's to really think about it. My problem is I literally can't stop thinking about her doing anything with another man, it's haunting me, but I love her. This girl is my best friend, everything feels right with her, and I can honestly say I love her and I have never been more comfortable with someone before. What do I do.

If she can't even tell you who it was, move on. It's not worth the future headache or pain.

She really shouldn’t have told you about the other guy. That wasn’t your business and there was absolutely no good to come from sharing that information. But since the cats already out of the bag...

Why did you break up originally? Have those issues been deal with?? There’s no point in trying again if the original issues still exist. Add on top of that the fact that you now have new insecurity around this guy she’s told you about...honestly, it doesn’t look promising.

She should have kept her mouth shut.

Why did you break up?

You were broken up, she was free to do what she wanted.

Yeah, I have to agree with the others. You've only been broken up for two weeks. What's changed? The issue isn't really the other guy she fooled around with.

I get the temptation to get back together when emotions are high, but in my experience, it usually doesn't work out. You want her because you don't want to be in pain anymore. Nobody likes grieving a relationship that wasn't working and moving on, but sometimes it needs to be done. I think this likely to be one of those times.

What will knowing do for you? Will it undo what you already know and she already did?

In this case this guy is not the problem or the cause, she is so focus on what caused the break up and work through it.

Your ego thinks it needs to know but in reality it doesn't matter. What matters is you were broken up when it happened and you love her and want it to work out.

If she is willing to talk about why you guys broke up and actually work on the issues then go for it and look forward, not back.

In 3 months I can see you sitting alone missing her because you HAD to find out who she kissed while broken up and wishing you had focused on what was really important.

Lost

How did you "find out" that she almost slept with someone? Through the grapevine, or through grilling her about what she's been up to while you were broken up?

If it's the latter I'd say you should seriously rethink getting back together, since that speaks to a foundation built on possessiveness and jealousy—a foundation that inevitably will crumble and, who knows, is maybe partly why you guys have already crumbled once.

Getting back together after two weeks apart—i.e. two seconds, in breakup time—has a lot of risks, as others have pointed out. Sometimes works, most often doesn't—you'll do what you do.

But only proceed if you can let this go. You know what a lot of people who are single do? What a lot of people do immediately after breaking up? They have sex with other people, and the vast majority of the time it is weird, meaningless, and semi-regretful. Your ex didn't even go there, but just almost went there. That's the teeniest, tiny potato in the sack of potatoes that is your maybe-reconciliation. If it's too much for you to handle don't waste either of your time.

I always advice people not to return to their ex. If anyone return to his/hers ex he/she isn’t going to find a different relationship. The old problems are going to be there. The problems for which they broke up are going to be there and every promise of change (from either side) is a lie.

The only reason that people flirt with the idea of returning to their ex is that it the easy way. It’s easier to return to a relationship that you already know how it’s going to be. It’s easier to be with someone you already know than to get to know another and start anew.

You write that everything feels right with her and that you are comfortable with her. Let me ask you these: Did everything felt right with her before you get to know her? Were you comfortable with her before you get to know her?

Have you ever tried to know and come close with another woman? If you will I think that everything will feel right with her, too.

The truth is this. You broke up for a reason, this reason isn’t going to vanish. Go out and flirt. Get to know other, new, exciting women. And when you get to match with one, start a relationship with her. You are going to feel right and comfortable with her too; and with every next.

Don’t you know why? I did it many times. So can you. And every time the breaking up was difficult and the new relationship exiting.

And lastly. Why do you give me the impression that she decides when you break up and when you are together?

Who initiated the breakup, and why?

So rather than focusing on the stressors that caused the break up, you are more worried about who she almost had sex with? What is more important to you? Finding out who it was or talking thru the issues that caused this to happen?

Well, first you should accept that whoever you date was at some point f*cked by somebody else. That's the reality and there is nothing bad at it. We men tend to be a bit possesive in these regards but we should accept that you cannot posses another person or even less posses their past. You were not together and it's not even like she went all the way through with it.

You should deal with being sure she doesnt get back to you just to break up with you again. Make her work and prove you that getting back together is a good idea, this will ensure that you dont get your heart broken in future, there is a risk of her leaving but in that case - good riddance.