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Thread: Angry over husbands relationship with coworker

  1. #141
    Member Glata's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Right, agree with this. While I'm glad you met her, and that you feel more comfortable, your description of her sounds rather dismissive and.....a bit......holier than thou? Or something? Like, she's not attractive enough to snare your husband, or something? This characterization is off-putting to me......"an older, spunky mom, not a blonde bombshell".

    And like Batya says, people don't usually become attracted outside their marriage due to looks, so look inside your own marriage, rather than dismissing her for being "older, spunky, not blonde", whatever. People cheat because they find in the outside partner what's lacking in the marriage, and I've seen many an unfaithful husband fall for someone way less attractive, physically at least, than the wife.

    Sorry to be so blunt/rude/snarky, but this really put me off.
    Trying to find the part where I described her as unattractive or in a dismissive way (this entire thread is basically about her). When you go through this for two months and have all kinds of crazy thoughts in your head without having met the person you will imagine the worst. In my mind I made her out to be this husband stealing, vibrant Heidi Klum lookalike that can run 13 miles with ease and had my husband under her spell. I simply stated that the reality was much different and that I felt rather silly having obsessed so much over something that really wasn’t worth obsessing over to the extend that I did.

  2. #142
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by Glata
    Trying to find the part where I described her as unattractive or in a dismissive way (this entire thread is basically about her). When you go through this for two months and have all kinds of crazy thoughts in your head without having met the person you will imagine the worst. In my mind I made her out to be this husband stealing, vibrant Heidi Klum lookalike that can run 13 miles with ease and had my husband under her spell. I simply stated that the reality was much different and that I felt rather silly having obsessed so much over something that really wasn’t worth obsessing over to the extend that I did.
    You focused on that. I understand the context and background. These were typed words you chose to type not blurting out to a friend "and she wasn't the Heidi Klum" - just be careful about ANY focus on her looks as a reason your husband wouldn't fall for her. Yes, there are extreme examples - like for example if she was going through a process to become a man (I am not kidding - people focus far too much on looks as a reason to stray). This is not one of them. Thanks for clarifying and just understand I'm not the only one who noticed this and was concerned on your behalf.

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