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Thread: Angry over husbands relationship with coworker

  1. #131
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    Originally Posted by Lester
    Ask him if she's going to be there and if yes..., time to get really mad and NOT go!


    Btw,
    Your husband knowing about ENA is a huge mistake.
    To prepare more professional deceptions, he'll be carefully following it and you.
    I disagree -- making sure another woman sees that you and your spouse are secure and you want to show off your spouse that you are proud of I would say would be a good thing. If he did everything to avoid his wife crossing paths with the coworker, i would be more alarmed.

    I do agree with you on not showing someone ENA

  2. #132
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Yeah, get mad and NOT go and why not prepare the silver platter too while you're at it.

    I would go and be gracious. Not a harpy demanding "stay away from MY husband you hussy!!"

  3. #133
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    Marriages are made and broke inside the four walls of two.

    Anything else, such as the suggested three ring circus is by design.

  4. #134
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    So I finally met the woman! And I do feel silly in retrospect I guess. She was not this blonde bombshell husband predator I was expecting..just a little, older spunky mom thatís very outgoing. As soon as she saw us she gave me a big hug and said she was so happy to finally meet me and that Iím even prettier in person than the pictures my husband showed her 🤦🏽♀️.

    They were in charge of setting up a tent together so I just talked with his other coworkers but of course observed it seemed more like a relationship he would have with one of his guy friends. She kinda talks to him like one of her students lol.

    I can see that heís been trying for me to meet her just so it could take that worry away that he is actually into her and it worked. She was a big unknown and if I had actually confronted her it wouldíve been completely out of place and she probably wouldíve been shocked that I could ever think there was anything going on. Sheís nice and unless Iím a complete idiot had no interest in my husband other than pushing to get this half marathon done.

    She texted him today but also other coworkers to make sure they fill out a card for another male coworker who is retiring. She is making him a personalized gift so I guess thatís just what she does.

    He has been so desperate to just make me understand that there is nothing to worry about and I did not make it easy for him. He wishes he had just told me he was running with someone bc itís been a nightmare for both of us. Something so stupid turned into me questioning my entire marriage.

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  6. #135
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    I'm glad you met her. I want to make one point though - it is completely and utterly irrelevant what she looks like. I have seen people attracted to people who are far from "blonde bombshells" of any sort - I was one of them - you just feel that click with someone and even though you know intellectually he's not a "10" by some silly objective standard you two have it goin' on. I will never forget many years ago when two of my coworkers were dating -he was so handsome, she very pretty. And very full of herself too. I brought my then boyfriend to a work event. He was downright funny looking (yes, I found him cute, yes sometimes I did not, that's for another day) - and my full of herself coworker gave me a LOOK - a clear look of "you're dating HIM??" Please never tell yourself "oh she's frumpy looking -he'd never go for her." You never know what attracts people and on the other hand I know plenty of blonde bombshells who don't have men fawning all over them or if they do it's short lived.

    Having said that I agree that the way she acted appears 100% above board! I'm glad you met her!

  7. #136
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Awww, I am so glad this happened!! Yes, a lot of time we over exaggerate things in our mind when we feel threatened but the reality is normally not even close to what we imagined.

    I hope you and she can become good friends and you don't have to feel upset anymore over this.

    It's good to hear a happy ending. I'm happy for you.

  8. #137
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Glata
    So I finally met the woman! And I do feel silly in retrospect I guess. She was not this blonde bombshell husband predator I was expecting..just a little, older spunky mom thatís very outgoing. As soon as she saw us she gave me a big hug and said she was so happy to finally meet me and that Iím even prettier in person than the pictures my husband showed her 🤦🏽♀️.

    They were in charge of setting up a tent together so I just talked with his other coworkers but of course observed it seemed more like a relationship he would have with one of his guy friends. She kinda talks to him like one of her students lol.

    I can see that heís been trying for me to meet her just so it could take that worry away that he is actually into her and it worked. She was a big unknown and if I had actually confronted her it wouldíve been completely out of place and she probably wouldíve been shocked that I could ever think there was anything going on. Sheís nice and unless Iím a complete idiot had no interest in my husband other than pushing to get this half marathon done.

    She texted him today but also other coworkers to make sure they fill out a card for another male coworker who is retiring. She is making him a personalized gift so I guess thatís just what she does.

    He has been so desperate to just make me understand that there is nothing to worry about and I did not make it easy for him. He wishes he had just told me he was running with someone bc itís been a nightmare for both of us. Something so stupid turned into me questioning my entire marriage.
    Awesome! This is a great example of how having good communication with your partner can keep things humming along nicely.

  9. #138
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I'm glad you met her. I want to make one point though - it is completely and utterly irrelevant what she looks like. I have seen people attracted to people who are far from "blonde bombshells" of any sort
    Right, agree with this. While I'm glad you met her, and that you feel more comfortable, your description of her sounds rather dismissive and.....a bit......holier than thou? Or something? Like, she's not attractive enough to snare your husband, or something? This characterization is off-putting to me......"an older, spunky mom, not a blonde bombshell".

    And like Batya says, people don't usually become attracted outside their marriage due to looks, so look inside your own marriage, rather than dismissing her for being "older, spunky, not blonde", whatever. People cheat because they find in the outside partner what's lacking in the marriage, and I've seen many an unfaithful husband fall for someone way less attractive, physically at least, than the wife.

    Sorry to be so blunt/rude/snarky, but this really put me off.

  10. #139
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    ... I've seen many an unfaithful husband fall for someone way less attractive, physically at least, than the wife.
    Ditto that by a million times a day!

  11. #140
    Member Glata's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lester
    Ditto that by a million times a day!
    Thanks for you constant contributions and inbox messages, Lester. Still not going to ďsecretly read the book by James DobsonĒ lol

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