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Thread: Prenuptial Agreements

  1. #1
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    Prenuptial Agreements

    Hey guys, what are your thoughts on prenups?

    My bf and I were discussing marriage last night (down the road) and I asked what he thought about them.

    He said they're practical and would probably want one.

    I agreed, and of course I would never marry him or any man for his money BUT then I got to thinking about it and it seems to me by negotiating such an agreement, doesn't that sort of imply or suggest the marriage may not last?

    I am aware of the divorce rate, but who wants to enter into a marriage with the attitude it may not last?

    I'm a bit on the fence about them now.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
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    Would never agree to one ever and donít have one.

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Would never agree to one ever and donít have one.
    Can you explain why S? Why are you against?

    That's what I'm looking for - the pros and cons from different people. Is it cause of what I posted about it implying the marriage won't last, and that just takes the good energy out of it?

    Thanks for responding!

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    Because as you suggests the person is thinking the marriage wonít work and is looking for a way to screw you when it doesnít.

    If someone doesnít want to share all they have with you then I am not interested.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Because as you suggests the person is thinking the marriage wonít work and is looking for a way to screw you when it doesnít.

    If someone doesnít want to share all they have with you then I am not interested.
    That's sort of how I feel too minus the screwing you if/when it ends, even though that's essentially what it is, isn't it.

    I have money/investments too so I'd be protecting my assets too I suppose, I just don't think I like the whole idea of them.

    The suggestion the marriage wouldn't last - what a negative before even going in!

    I'm interested in the pros though too, why some folks think they're a good idea.

    I'm so on the fence about it!

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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    That's sort of how I feel too minus the screwing you if/when it ends, even though that's essentially what it is, isn't it.

    I have money/investments too so I'd be protecting my assets too I suppose, I just don't think I like the whole idea of them.

    I'm interested in the pros though, why some folks think they're a good idea.

    I'm so on the fence about it!
    I don't think their are many pros. I mean, if you are rich and famous, the pro is that it would repell gold diggers. But if you are an average person with a basic 401k, a car and a condo that you might selll upon marriage or it would be your marital home -- a prenup means that "i plan to divorce"

    I most states, the assets you walk into a marriage with are yours. the only real exception i can think of is a fund you keep adding to (and then it would be prorated in a divorce - ie. the spouse is only entitled to half of what was earned and contribited AFTER the wedding day) or you bought a home before marriage in your name only, you were married for 15 years and it has become the marital home - the other spouse has the right not to be homeless. They may require the home owning, higher earning party to pay out of equity to provide housing especially if there are kids and thatsfair.

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    Thanks abit. That was helpful.

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    I presume the whole hidden marriage thingy has been worked out and things are fine now.

    And maybe that's why he's pro-prenup. Perhaps he got burned the first time?

    Now, that's not to say it's right for you to "pay" (literally) for whatever happened in his first marriage. However, life lessons wouldn't be worth much if we didn't learn from them, right?

    I work hard for what I have. I don't live in a palace and I don't have huge investments or own real property or anything of great value. But I want to retain what I've worked hard to get. If for some reason I got married again (highly unlikely, but who knows), I would want to retain everything I own in the event it doesn't work out. I'd want my assets (life insurance, stock, etc.) to go to my kids, not to an ex-husband. So yeah, right now I'd have one.

    Now, if it was a first marriage for me and there are no kids, I'd just want to be sure to have a will so that in case something happened to me I would designate who my (future) kids would go to. Of course, their father is the obvious choice but there are other factors (both of us in an airplane crash?) to consider.

    Anyway, in your case I do wonder if the first marriage is influencing his interest in having a pre-nup. You could ask him why he wants one and see what he says.

  10. #9
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    I read somewhere they're a good idea because it's being negotiated while you're in love and thus inclined to be more generous to the person who has less.

    Versus not having one and if/when the marriage ends, the person with less getting really screwed due to their spouse not giving a shyt anymore, and having really good lawyers!

  11. #10
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    Yeah we worked that out bolt! I got him to understand my POV and he apologized for not telling me.

    It's all good now, actually brought us closer.

    Edit: Yeah I will ask him about first marriage, as we further discuss. I'm curious now myself..

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