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Thread: My mum refuse to even acknowledge my boyfriend she hates him

  1. #1

    My mum refuse to even acknowledge my boyfriend she hates him

    I am 28yrs old. I came to my mum to tell her i met someone. He is an amazing guy who makes me happy. We been friends for nearly 5yrs. Been in a relationship for a year. She asked me where he was from i told her. She went beserk. She does not want to meet him or even want to know his name. All based on the country he is from. I tried to tell her how unfair she is being towards another person judging him by the actions of few. She.just does not want know. She doesnt need to like him i want her to give him a chance respect him and treat him as an individual. But she just doesnt wanna know and i am really hurt by her way of thinking not even remotely interested in giving him a chance because of his race. He is my soulmate he truely makes me happy and i believe he feels the same. How do i tackle this again without damaging my relationship with my mum? My boyfriend will be crushed that my mum dont like him based on his race.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately, that is up to her. You can’t “ make” a racist change.

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    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    So in the 5 years you've been friends with him, your mom never knew of him?

    You're 28 years old and (I assume) on your own. Your mother doesn't have to like your boyfriend, and you don't have to like it that she doesn't like him. Perhaps you could make it known to her that if she doesn't respect your choices, you won't be a part of her life as much.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    She doesnt have to like him and you cant make her like him. Yes it stinks she's the way she is, but you cant change her.

    You do what seems right for you and if that involves cutting mom out of your life, so be it, tho it'll hurt to have to do that.

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  6. #5
    You're 28 yrs old for god sake. You can make your own decisions and be with whoever you want to be with. If your mother doesn't like it, tough. She has made a very unfair judgement but that's on her. Where is your bf from?

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    She asked me where he was from i told her. She went beserk

    I don't totally classify this as racism per se. If he was a guy from your neighborhood who was a different skin color - yes,she would be a racist. But you say "where he is from" and if that means he is from another country, then she may not have a problem with you dating a man of another race, but because she fears for you -- if he is from an impoverished nation, he is looking for a green card, or i he is from a nation where women are property, basically, she fears that you don't know what you are getting into. So instead of just shutting mom out, try better to understand -- is she really just bigoted or is she afraid for her daughter?

    Honestly, you are in the wrong for dating a guy a whole year and not introducing him to mom. I mean, that would tell me you wanted to hide him.If he was your friend for 5 years, mom should have met him at some point, even casually. I bet if you hadn't hid him, mom had met him here and there it would be a totally different reaction. Hiding him from mom makes mom feel that you have something to hide

  8. #7
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    if my brother didn't tell me for a year he was dating something, my mind would run wild. Why is he hiding her? Is she a stripper? Is she my frenemy from middle school? what does he have to hide?? So keep that in mind. Dating secretly is uncool. If it was a great relationship, with a great guy, you would be proud to be with him and eager to introduce him to all


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