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Thread: Whatís happening

  1. #1

    Whatís happening

    I donít make waves...I donít speak out...and I definitely hate looking weak...

    Iíve been reflecting on my life, and lately I havenít felt like I have any purpose to live. I pretend I am happy. I always try to stay positive and look for better days ahead.

    But some days are worse than others. Itís a battle everyday against myself. Some days I feel like I am not going to win this battle. Lately I have been depressed to the point where I donít want to get out of bed. I wake up around 2 in the afternoon. And I just sit in my room. I struggle to do easy tasks . I canít even shower without talking myself Into it. I use to do makeup and try to look pretty. Now I donít even do my hair and my eyes look sunk in.

    Whatís sad about this all is I feel so alone. My best friend even stopped keeping in contact with me. She went off to college. My parents donít even talk to me or check up on me. I live with my sister and she locks herself in her room. I feel like no one is here. Iím all alone in this world.

    I know itís far fetched but every day feels like a chore just to get out of bed. Some days I eat too much, some days i donít eat enough. I struggle to even write this post because no one knows the demons I face every day. Iím the person that wants to help people. I always helped people get out of depression. People would never believe that I deal with it on a daily.
    Iím just scared one day, depression is going to win. I am at war with myself every day. I guess I write this , so I know that I am not alone.
    I hope those who are facing depression donít give up. Itís one hell of a battle everyday for me, but Iím fighting for my life. I want everyone else to know they arenít going through this alone, and I know I am not the only one. I just need some words of encouragement. Or others to vent on this thread as well. I love life and never thought I would ever think about suicide, but depression can be something that can take over your life. Iím just in a dark place in my life.

    I just ask you to write a story . Or just remind me how beautiful life is, and how much is has to offer. I can reflect on these things, and maybe it will give me purpose in life again. Maybe I will find the courage to get out of my bed and do something productive. Yes I am still in college, yes I am still trying to keep my grades up. But as time goes by, even something I love and have passion towards, I donít even find interesting anymore. This is Depression. This is my life now.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    I tried it numerous times throughout 2018....It's not as easy as Hollywood would have you believe....

    These days I have days where I'm glad it didn't work and that keeps me going*

    Why would you say you are suicidal...? What is it that is making you have those thoughts....?

    Carus*

  3. #3
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    Well, whenever life sucks, it's just temporary. You never know what's behind a corner and what you could miss on to. I understand that sometimes things look like they have been sucking for forever, but it's just your mind playing with you.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Replied in that thread: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Ayitsme222
    Earlier I posted a thread...

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  6. #5
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    You are not suicidal. If you were you wouldnít post here , you would post on a different site. So yay for you!

    What you are seeking from here is not words to talk you out of suicidal thoughts but words of comfort.
    Why?

  7. #6
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    There are many beautiful things in life. Time spent with my mother and her pooch, spending time with friends, traveling to other countries, learning new things etc....

    I lost most of my small family, it is just my mother and I- brother died in 2010 and father four years later. I could have given up, but knew I had to go on. Consider how your family and friends would feel f they lost you.

    Everything is temporary when it comes to painful events. They can be overcome.

    Have you sought out a therapist?

    Quite a few responded to your post. Can't you find it?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-31-2019 at 10:41 AM.


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