Shes sabotaging everyrhing

An ex partner recently contacted me they stated they wernt after anything serious they had just found themselves back on their feet and needed to be on their own, however asked if I wanted to hang out. So I did. I was also not looking for something although I have an insane attraction to my ex and was casually dating other people.

After a couple of weeks of going out and having fun including sleeping g together and being quite romantic on dates with her she started to act a little disinterested; she cancelled a couple of planned dates together without a good reason in my opinion, and to be honest it did hurt a little however didnt want to make a big deal out of it, afterall she didnt want something serious. I did tell her that I wasnt interested in someone who was canceling dates and wasting my time and I'd rather spend my time in someone who is willing to give me theirs.. needless to say she did not like this response. She said that I can do what I want and didnt care if I saw anyone else, I think she thought i was bluffing, however I was already casually going out and dating someone else so I decided to focus on that ( I should probably note that we all work at the same place). When my ex found about this she was furious! When she confronted me about me seeing her and another woman at the same time I told her that it was herself that said she wanted to be alone and didnt want anything serious and that she also didnt care if I saw someone else and that I could do what I want. My ex didnt really have an argument so decided to tell the other woman about us dating. This didnt go so well as the other woman knew it was casual and wasnt too bothered about it. My ex told me she didnt want to be treated like just another woman that I sleep with. I told her that was never the case and because of our past and the fact we had a genuine relationship will always mean she meant something to me. She became a little upset so I hugged her and told her i was sorry for how i handled the situation. We talked for a little while longer and I tried to cheer her up with some old memories and jokes. She asked soon after if she could go home from work. I said yes.

I didnt hear from her for a week and in the mean time I stopped dating alltogether (although I still talk and have a good friendship with the other woman). I heard my ex had a death in the family, i sent her flowers and messaged to tell her she was doing really well and should continue to build herself up and get back on her feet.

I added that she has the space she needed and if she wanted to hang out than get in touch.

About 2 weeks later I was contacted by the police and was told that their had been an allegation about me from a previous relationship. I attended a formal interview whereby she detailed I 'sexually assaulted' her - this was referring to the hug when she was upset. The police couldn't see any evidence and I was released.

She also told my employer that she did not want to come back to work because of me and that she did not feel safe there.

This really confused me and really hurt me that she would say such things.

To help the situation I voluntarily moved areas until the dust settled and to give her a chance to return to work

She has made an official complaint with HR and a grievance saying she cant be around me at all.

She is also blaming me for her feelings depressed and anxious.

She is put me in a very difficult place whereby my job is on the line and its causing me stress because I dont feel I deserve this. Why is she acting this way when all she had to do was just talk to me and we could have resolved her feelings. Does she feel that hurt by me dating someone else eventhough she said she didnt care? And she also said she wanted and needed to be on her own... I dont understand why shes trying to hurt me.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned".

I'm hearing the 'woman scorned' reference a lot.. but what does it actually mean?

Regardless of what this woman had told you....she's pissed, and feels so wronged by you she's gonna make your life a living hell, you must pay. She's gonna f you up at all cost. Watch out brah

So.. I should apologise? Eventhough theoretically I didn't do anything wrong?

I think she's got more than a few screws loose. If all is as you say, her actions are over the top and out of control. I dont know what you should do, other than stay far away from her. You may need to talk to a lawyer if she doesnt stop this.

So.. I should apologise? Eventhough theoretically I didn't do anything wrong?

I dont think you should talk to her at all for any reason unless it's work related and you have another person with you to corroborate what you said and did.

I'm hoping she grows a conscience and realises shes being ridiculous before that happens.

Are you her supervisor?

Are you the other woman's supervisor?

Is there anywhere other than your workplace where you can find women to date?

You should also get legal advice regarding the work situation

Apologize for what? The woman is a complete nut! Stay away from her.

You need to smarten up! You should be so pizzed! You could have landed in jail.

Why are you dating all of these women at work. That's not smart.

I would seek legal counsel.

I should probably note that we all work at the same place).

These are the usual consequences of dating in the work place. Lesson learned...

I think it's best not to eyeball any other female coworkers in future.

Do not apologize. Not only did you not do anything wrong, an apology could be used against you in the future. Why? Well, it could be interpreted as an admission of guilt by a lawyer working for your ex. In other words, they could jump all over for you saying sorry when you claim to have nothing to be sorry about.

Do not speak to her. Instead, seek legal counsel on this.

This woman is not playing with a full deck, but she is willing to fight dirty. You need to keep a very wide berth from her.

I'm a supervisor but not for either of them directly. I feel the issue isn't that I've dates in the workplace rather that she is acting all hurt when she said she didnt want anything

Are you her supervisor?

 

Are you the other woman's supervisor?

 

Is there anywhere other than your workplace where you can find women to date?

I'm a supervisor but not for either of them directly

I dont think the issue is that I dated in the workplace, after all I spend 1/3 of my time there.

The issue is more why act all hurt and after revenge when she made it clear she didnt want anything

I'm a supervisor but not for either of them directly

 

I dont think the issue is that I dated in the workplace, after all I spend 1/3 of my time there.

The issue is more why act all hurt and after revenge when she made it clear she didnt want anything

Because you are not dealing with someone who is entirely rational, as evidenced by her police report and complaint to HR.

You cannot apply your own logical thought processes to someone who acts in this manner and takes situations to the extreme.

Because you are not dealing with someone who is entirely rational, as evidenced by her police report and complaint to HR.

 

You cannot apply your own logical thought processes to someone who acts in this manner and takes situations to the extreme.

I understand that she isn't acting rational and shes lead by her emotions, however I'm trying to understand why.. why does she feel hurt? Is it because she cant deal with me not being at her beck and call and seeing me with another woman, is it she just wants to control me or can this just be summarised as shes a nut job

I understand that she isn't acting rational and shes lead by her emotions, however I'm trying to understand why.. why does she feel hurt? Is it because she cant deal with me not being at her beck and call and seeing me with another woman, is it she just wants to control me or can this just be summarised as shes a nut job

We won't able to answer that, really. Only she can. My best guess is that her ego is bruised.

Does knowing the reason why she's acting this way really change anything for you? At the end of the day, it doesn't change her behaviour, and it won't make this mess go away.

You're in hot enough water that you should concentrate less on how she is feeling and more on protecting yourself.

We won't able to answer that, really. Only she can. My best guess is that her ego is bruised.

 

Does knowing the reason why she's acting this way really change anything for you? At the end of the day, it doesn't change her behaviour, and it won't make this mess go away.

 

You're in hot enough water that you should concentrate less on how she is feeling and more on protecting yourself.

I guess nothing will really justify her irrational actions, especially the attempt to sabotage my career. I've known her a long time and knew she was not very mature even for being a mother of 3, and I know she always had a fear of losing me completely.. but 'what you fear. You attract'.

My issue is I like to know things and I like to fix issues.

I guess nothing will really justify her irrational actions, especially the attempt to sabotage my career. I've known her a long time and knew she was not very mature even for being a mother of 3, and I know she always had a fear of losing me completely.. but 'what you fear. You attract'.

My issue is I like to know things and I like to fix issues.

You would be best to work on your ability to identify which issues are worth fixing, and which are better left alone. This is one of the latter, particularly since your professional reputation is on the line and the police have become involved.

You won't be able to fix this one.

I understand that she isn't acting rational and shes lead by her emotions, however I'm trying to understand why.. why does she feel hurt? Is it because she cant deal with me not being at her beck and call and seeing me with another woman, is it she just wants to control me or can this just be summarised as shes a nut job

Who cares! Wake up! You could lose your job and end up in jail.

How old are you?

I'm 25. The police dropped the accusation and are happy to let it go and the risk of losing my job is low because it's a 'he said' she said case.

I'm 25. The police dropped the accusation and are happy to let it go and the risk of losing my job is low because it's a 'he said' she said case.

Really. That's a little difficult to believe in the current environment.

There really isn't a case, she messaged me after the alleged assault asking to go home..(she could have asked any manager) and we spoke after. So I argue that why would she do that if I had just assaulted her. Also the police found no evidence of this