Met a girl on vacation.

I’m currently typing this in Spain on vacation. So I met this girl 5 days ago in a club. There where many pretty girls there and she was with her friend.

I immediately walked up to her and began talking to her. As the night went on we parted ways after dancing and having a good time. We met back up the same night and the same place after she gave me her number. We danced until the club closed and we made out most of the night.

At the end I was extremely drunk and when we exited some guys came up to them talking to them. Me being drunk I just walked away. I got a text saying how are you and are you ok from her. She said she kinda like that I did walk away.

Next day I texted her saying I’d like to see her again. She said she wanted to as well. I gave her a time and place where we could meet up. I never received an answer. A day later she texted me saying she was in Ibiza and had no service and that she would like to see me again.

She said she was traveling to Madrid and had one day before her flight left for LA(resides) so we met in Madrid and spent a couple hours together. Around midnight last night she had to leave because she had reservations with her friend who was also traveling with her. We made out before that walking around Madrid going to bars holding hands and really getting hot and heavy.

When we got back it was time for her reservation. I told her I wanted her I wanted to get her alone. She told me she wanted me to have sex with her in the hallway of where she was staying. As we where about to her friend came out and I basically got kicked out. She told me the night was young and made it seem like I’d see her again that night.

I get back to my hotel and she texted me asking how my night was going. I didn’t understand that question but I just responded back saying I want you. She responded back by saying the name of some random club then said she was going to another one and that she’d text me.

I waited an hour and was tired and told her goodnight and to be safe. She never responded. I know she had to leave and it sucks because I never felt such an extreme amount of attraction and chemistry before. She’s 26 and I’m 22. She brought up how we should meet up back in the states before we hung out. And she seemed to be very interested in me. Asked me questions and was so down to earth with me.

I didn’t mess up anything but yet for some reason she just ghosted me. She was one of the hottest girls I ever seen and I’m really into her. I’m not gonna text her because she never responded to me and kinda blew me off. I feel like she may text me again and is testing me to see if she can unhinged me.

Idk why she would just ghost me and not just be straight up. Maybe she just wasn’t as into me as I was into her. I did everything right. I guess I just gotta let it go.

I didn’t come off as needy. She said I was so different from a lot of guys. She said she was into me. But when we texted it seem like I was speaking to a different person. Am I jumping to conclusions? I never been so into a girl before it’s crazy.

Btw I hate that got caught up on a girl like this. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I kinda fell for her instantly. Like I never been with a girl that I just wanted to know everything about. She’s miles over my ex. While I’m sad that our time is probably over I’m happy because I experienced a feeling I never felt before. Extremely rare from what I’ve heard.

It was a holiday fling and nothing more. You fell for her instantly because of a combination of vacation, booze, and hormones.

Move on.

Sounds like she continued to party the night away and you went to bed. Then she flew out the next day, so it didn't make sense to blow up your phone. Maybe she even expected you to meet her at the random club she named. Who knows. I wouldn't even necessarily peg this as blowing you off given the logistics of everything you mentioned.

You'll probably hear from her again is my guess. Do you live near her in the states?

However, I would caution getting involved with a person who wants to bang you in the middle of a hallway drunk in a foreign country within hours of getting to know you, haha. Doesn't sound like great judgment by either party.

I've had that extreme attraction/love at first sight feeling with one person before in my life so I'm not gonna knock the possibility, but if you do hear from her again, I'd try to get to know her a bit first before making any assumptions about what kind of woman she is.

Sounds like she continued to party the night away and you went to bed. Then she flew out the next day, so it didn't make sense to blow up your phone. Maybe she even expected you to meet her at the random club she named. Who knows. I wouldn't even necessarily peg this as blowing you off given the logistics of everything you mentioned.

 

You'll probably hear from her again is my guess. Do you live near her in the states?

 

However, I would caution getting involved with a person who wants to bang you in the middle of a hallway drunk in a foreign country within hours of getting to know you, haha. Doesn't sound like great judgment by either party.

 

I've had that extreme attraction/love at first sight feeling with one person before in my life so I'm not gonna knock the possibility, but if you do hear from her again, I'd try to get to know her a bit first before making any assumptions about what kind of woman she is.

She lives in LA. I’m from North Carolina. That alone is probably the biggest deal breaker. It wasn’t in hours of us meeting we met a couple days before. I’m romanticizing something that isn’t possible. She kept saying how I’m so different and so interesting.

The more I think about it the more I think she’s not into me. But hey a girl of her caliber did like me some to hang out with me and do dirty things. I need to start enaging more. Gave me confidence.

Yo that feeling is insane changed how I see all my past relationships. Will use it as base to find a really great girl in the future.

This was a vacation fling, my friend.

These types of things don't usually last once the holiday is over, but you can tuck it away as a fun memory. You two are virtually strangers who happened to have physical chemistry, but you two don't really know each other at all. Don't confuse lust and hormones for something deeper when there is so little to base it on.

It sounds like a fun trip. Let the dust settle and don't make it out to be bigger than what it was (it was temporary only). Life will return to normal and while you may be wistful for a few weeks, it won't last forever. You'll move on with your life but I think this trip will always put a big smile on your face, looking back. Carpe diem!

Your anxiety over this is directly tied to where you are healing wise.

In other words your confidence isn’t exactly where it needs to be.

As someone else said it was a fun fling.

You’re young, traveling enjoying life as is she from the sounds of it, you may cross paths again, you may not. It was a fun exciting expierience, enjoy it for what it is.

Your anxiety about it though... either self soothe and walk yourself off the ledge or take a break until you’re more ready.

She did text me saying that she had a great time and that she landed safely. I just responded saying just to text me if she ever wants to meet up back in the states and that I had a good time too.

Good!

Leave it at that

Lol, when you just try to get a quick fix with a girl you barely know, this happens a lot - you got rejected big time.

Find a local girl, date her for awhile and don't get so serious until she falls in love with you. Then stay with her.

Great relationships and sex takes time. You have to do the work to get the payout, and to avoid getting burned by the pain of rejection.

It could be worth it - women in love are more fun!

Hmm, that last line sounds like a bumper sticker. Wow, just wow!

 

Great relationships and sex takes time. You have to do the work to get the payout, and to avoid getting burned by the pain of rejection.

 

It could be worth it - women in love are more fun!

 

Hmm, that last line sounds like a bumper sticker. Wow, just wow!

LOL’ed at that

She never responded to my text. I said exactly this...

I’m glad we met.

Let me know when you wanna meet up again. I’m glad you made it home safe.

Stay in touch.

I know I’m over reacting to this. It’s been 2 days off a girl I’ve known for a week. Like my ex just emailed me and I couldn’t care less. Dang I need to get out and get more girls. Maybe that’ll help with this scarcity mindset.

Maybe that text didn’t deserve a response. I sent it because I didn’t want a texting buddy. Like I don’t want a friend where we text I want someone to chill and hang with. Idk did what I say come off as desperate.

I’m aware at writing this post that I am. Currently going out tonight

Btw I hate that got caught up on a girl like this. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I kinda fell for her instantly. Like I never been with a girl that I just wanted to know everything about. She’s miles over my ex. While I’m sad that our time is probably over I’m happy because I experienced a feeling I never felt before. Extremely rare from what I’ve heard.

Everything you need to understand about this is in these few sentences.

You "fell for her instantly" because she is "miles over" you ex, which is to say that you remain many miles away from getting over your ex. And that's cool. That's life. You're still healing, in that state of heightened emotion where everything—a walk down a street in Madrid, a hot fling—feels loaded with meaning, the potential door into your new life, the new you.

Just keep doing you, keep coming back to that core. Sounds like you're on a good path—away from the pain from December, toward new feelings and experiences. There will be more girls and more hallways. And soon they will just be girls in hallways—some cooler than others, but none the answer since you'll have found that answer inside you first.

Everything you need to understand about this is in these few sentences.

 

You "fell for her instantly" because she is "miles over" you ex, which is to say that you remain many miles away from getting over your ex. And that's cool. That's life. You're still healing, in that state of heightened emotion where everything—a walk down a street in Madrid, a hot fling—feels loaded with meaning, the potential door into your new life, the new you.

 

Just keep doing you, keep coming back to that core. Sounds like you're on a good path—away from the pain from December, toward new feelings and experiences. There will be more girls and more hallways. And soon they will just be girls in hallways—some cooler than others, but none the answer since you'll have found that answer inside you first.[/quote

 

I’ve heard I don’t need to get caught up on one girl like this. That I need to socialize more. It’s hard because I feel like a loser for going out alone. I constantly feel like I need to approach women. Like every choice I make is based on trying to find a girl like I just met. This whole trip I’ve been alone. When I saw that girl for some reason I just went straight up to her and totally clicked with her.

 

I hate that I’m this kinda guy. No purpose just wanting to be with a girl. I made it out to be more then it was. Why can’t I just let it go. It’s like I’m afraid of losing out on a girl like that.

 

While I never come off as needy. I never double text and I don’t chase. I come off as the man I want to be toward girls. Calm, cool, and fun. But behind the scenes I’m waiting for there text, I’m getting upset because they take to long to respond. I’m googling my scenario and I’m posting on this website. Coming from a place of need and validation.

 

Dude girls rule my life and I hate it.

Here's a challenge, buddy: Every time you go into this self-critical mindset—that you're weak, ruled by girls, whatever—force yourself, if only for a second, even if it feels forced, to go easy on yourself, to love yourself for who you are, right now.

You're a thinker, a feeler, and a searcher, Austino. It's clear in all your posts, and it's a rare thing. It's cool. It's special. It probably, if I had to guess, helps you with the ladies.

You've got a sense of awareness that is pretty uncommon in someone your age, and with that awareness you will just continue to evolve. If you can't trust that all the time, if you think you're just dude salivating over the potential of love and lust—well, remember that this pixilated stranger said you're more than thata take my word for half a second.

What you're doing right now? Wandering Europe, feeling things, thinking things, flinging yourself into a void hoping for answers? Not everyone does that. In fact, most people don't. It takes guts.

Guess what I'm saying is that, while it may feel like you're just chasing girls, you're actually doing a lot more. You're chasing yourself, digging in. You're also, yes, a dude, and it's totally normal for a dude to be drawn to girls. I've done some pretty cool sh*t in my nearly 40 years trying to figure out what being alive is all about, lots of travel, some kind of interesting stuff professionally, a bevy of "extreme" hobbies—and no shortage of that was connected to trying to impress a girl or woman, either real, imagined, or somewhere in the middle. They come and go—and, yeah, hopefully you find one that doesn't go and you want to hang around with too.

But on that journey you're the constant, whether you like it or not, so even when you think you're just peacocking around Europe hoping to love and be loved—or at least taste the illusion of that in a hallway—you're probably closer to the path you want to be on than you think, stronger than you know.

Here's a challenge, buddy: Every time you go into this self-critical mindset—that you're weak, ruled by girls, whatever—force yourself, if only for a second, even if it feels forced, to go easy on yourself, to love yourself for who you are, right now.

 

You're a thinker, a feeler, and a searcher, Austino. It's clear in all your posts, and it's a rare thing. It's cool. It's special. It probably, if I had to guess, helps you with the ladies.

 

You've got a sense of awareness that is pretty uncommon in someone your age, and with that awareness you will just continue to evolve. If you can't trust that all the time, if you think you're just dude salivating over the potential of love and lust—well, remember that this pixilated stranger said you're more than thata take my word for half a second.

 

What you're doing right now? Wandering Europe, feeling things, thinking things, flinging yourself into a void hoping for answers? Not everyone does that. In fact, most people don't. It takes guts.

 

Guess what I'm saying is that, while it may feel like you're just chasing girls, you're actually doing a lot more. You're chasing yourself, digging in. You're also, yes, a dude, and it's totally normal for a dude to be drawn to girls. I've done some pretty cool sh*t in my nearly 40 years trying to figure out what being alive is all about, lots of travel, some kind of interesting stuff professionally, a bevy of "extreme" hobbies—and no shortage of that was connected to trying to impress a girl or woman, either real, imagined, or somewhere in the middle. They come and go—and, yeah, hopefully you find one that doesn't go and you want to hang around with too.

 

But on that journey you're the constant, whether you like it or not, so even when you think you're just peacocking around Europe hoping to love and be loved—or at least taste the illusion of that in a hallway—you're probably closer to the path you want to be on than you think, stronger than you know.

Thanks man. Sacred advice that I extremely appreciate. I just got home. Me and her exchanged text and I called her but she just didn’t seem all that interested. Told her to text me when she wasn’t busy but she hasn’t so it’s time to move on. Sucks but I gotta learn to let things go. I just wallow in sadness like deep sadness. I realize I get attached to the fantasy of what I thought me and her was/could be. Gotta stop that.

She’s a girl with many options and lives really far away and it is what it is. A good experience. Made me very happy and also it made me see the opportunities out there. I feel nothing for my ex anymore and this trip really helped cement that. It’s been a crazy journey healing from this. I’m sure I’m still healing even now but just don’t recognize it.

Your outlook on life is one I want to have for myself. I realize I do have game when it comes to women. Just that I’m not happy in my current job and I’m working on going to college and moving out. I gotta save money so I’m gonna focus on that and casual dating.

That girl was something else. I’ll hold my standards to that from now on. Talking to this one girl right now. Hopefully I can add a couple more to that. I gotta trust that I’ll have more of what I felt with that girl. It was amazing.

The wisdom and hope you’ve given me is worth every post ive posted on here.

Lol, when you just try to get a quick fix with a girl you barely know, this happens a lot - you got rejected big time.

 

Find a local girl, date her for awhile and don't get so serious until she falls in love with you. Then stay with her.

 

Great relationships and sex takes time. You have to do the work to get the payout, and to avoid getting burned by the pain of rejection.

 

It could be worth it - women in love are more fun!

 

Hmm, that last line sounds like a bumper sticker. Wow, just wow!

I was thinking great tee shirt!

Black, tight with white letters.