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Thread: He picks fights the day after sex

  1. #1

    He picks fights the day after sex

    When me and my boyfriend got together we had a very sexual relationship. And when I got pregnant alot of things changed, because after the first trimester I wasn't really interested in sex, Not 100% sure why, but I also had a lot of problems with my pregnancy, and so we didn't have sex very often. Now our daughter is a year old. And everynight we have sex the next day its like all he does is pick a fight with me. Also I have graves disease just found out so I have had problems with less sex intrest. And lots of tiredness. I was sleeping alot before i found out it was graves disease so i didn't feel good and havent gotten back into shape since our duaghter was born. So my stomach and hips and legs are still a bit chunky. And we had sex last night and all day he has been picking fits. He told me i looked nice. But hes not happy with the way i am. He made a comment that i should start raking laps around the house to help shrink my stomach. He told me he worries about my health. But doesn't take the disease into consideration. He told me that he wasnt going to tell me i look beautiful or pretty because he didnt want to encourage me to stay the wah i am. All of these things after we had sex last night. Literally ever thing that a women already thinks to herself as it is just got thrown at you by the one person who is supposed to support you and live you no mater what. And on a normal day this doesn't happen, it just had to be the day after we had sex, which in my opinion was really good. So i dont understand why this is happening it seems like the fights get worse and worse everytime we have sex. What do i do, i need advice i don't understand qhy hes like this. He made me cry today with every horrible thing he said which i tell myself day in and out alone. I don't need his help to feel like crap about my body now compared to before my pregnancy. Like what do i do to make this stop. Why does he pick foghts and say mean things? Why dows he snap. Its all only after a night of sex

  2. #2
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    He is an abusive azzhole. You need to lose this creep!

    You make it stop by throwing him out. He does not love or respect you!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Have you actually discussed this with him? That's a good place to start.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    This sounds awful.. I'm sorry you are going through this, with a 1 year old baby to look after as well.

    My ex husband was verbally abusive and I caught him looking at me with disgust after I had my daughter as my body had changed. It broke my heart. He compared me to his friends who where dancers and were fit.

    My point is abuse is abuse. It does not get better unless you go to counselling together, which I recommend if you feel like this relationship can be salvaged.

    You deserve love and respect, never forget it

    I hope you get well really soon

    All the best AB

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  6. #5
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    Yuck! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would ask him why he gets so angry with you after sex? Sounds like he may have deeper issues not about you but going on with himself.

    I honestly wouldn’t put up with this emotional abuse it will only get worse. I say you show him the door. Sounds like a horrible jerk!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Have you actually discussed this with him? That's a good place to start.
    I agree.

    Not saying what he’s doing is right but he sounds frustrated with the way things have become.

    Communicate.

    I doubt you only ever fight after sex, you probably just notice it more because of your own insecurities with your heath right now.

    You’re right he’s not making it any better

    Talk to each other

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I wouldn’t be rewarding him with sex.

  9. #8
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    This guy is an abusive who doesn't deserve to see you naked again. You bore his child. Some women's stomachs never go back even without further hormonal complications (ie. diastasis recti). God forbid you age. Get rid of this guy.

  10. #9
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    I would think that most people would know that you do not speak to people in this manner, unless he is a complete idiot. Would he speak to a female friend like this?


    Cut off the sex OP. I am sorry that you are dealing with Graves on top of this.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I wouldn’t be rewarding him with sex.
    She is not rewarding him with sex.
    She is feeling down about her own body image and having sex to negate that. But it’s not working for her. She has a condition that lowers her libido. Fine.

    He said she looks nice. But that he is not happy with the way she is. He suggested exercise. It was her that said she is not happy with how she looks. Not him. He is frustratingly grasping at straws to come up with a solution to make her feel better about herself. He might not understand her condition but he is trying to help in the only way he knows how.

    It’s on her to up her self esteem about her own body image post having a child.
    He says she looks nice. He is not happy about the “way she is” and that is not how she looks physically but about her low self esteem. Poor guy .

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