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Thread: Self defense for a child - necessary?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Maybe a basic self defense class would be a better option for him?

  2. #12
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    Some first hand experience here. First my son did a year or more of aikido. He was 6 when he started.he didnít like it because the instructors were way too harsh and yelled and worse. I ended up agreeing. Then he did karate at a place that was structured but more ďfun ď-they also did specific classes in bullying etc - meaning classes where they also discussed these issues with the kids.

    After two years my son was done - meaning he didnít enjoy it and was bored. And getting him there twice a week was a pain in the behind too. I do think he got things out of it and we each met some really cool people. He did have some issues with being bullied in kindergarten and first grade but not so much the last few years. He is ten and short for his age. But his school does not tolerate bullying nor would his school tolerate hitting back. I do think it helped him with his overall development. Paying the cancellation fee was painful to be honest. My suggestion is to try different places as most of not all let you do a sample or trial class. Good luck!

  3. #13
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    My son did karate at the top dojo in the province. Didnít stop him from being picked on . My son was relentlessly bullied at school. Finally with the last bully that wouldnít leave him alone I told him to knock him silly. Which he did. He punched him 3 times in the face. The other kid got suspended and my son got an afternoon at home. But bullying stopped.

    Not that I recommend this, but it worked in my day and it worked for my child. I am not pro violence but you can only visit a school so often and get no results.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    He's 12 and not into any forms of physical exertion? Is the resistance here to exercise in general that gets him breaking a sweat or the particular class?

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  6. #15
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    Personally, I wish I had learned self-defence as a child. I believe children benefit greatly from it. There are so many types, perhaps your kid can test different types of self-defence (or look at some videos at least if the former isn't possible) and see which one he likes.

    Wishing you all the best!

  7. #16
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    Don't make your son do it, if there is no buy in. Otherwise he will also feel pushed by his mom too.

    I wish there was a way to reach the bully. Obviously he has deep issues, to feel the need to bully others like that.

    My mom used to go into inner city schools in Detroit for class presentations. She would somehow figure out who the worst problem child was, and get them involved in helping with the presentation. By the end, she had them completely won over. She was such a pro!

    My heart goes out to your son. Love him like he is and how he handles the situations that come up. Keep the communication lines open, and if he ever requests a self defense class then he can ask you.

    Hope it all works out.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I wouldn't force him against his will. Since this bullying problem was taken care of for now, one step at a time. I know you're a great mother but your son has to learn and figure out what he wants to do as life teaches him along the way. Unfortunately, it requires some risks as he grows up and he will be the one to determine when it's time to tell you he WANTS and DESIRES to defend himself by enrolling in a defense class. I know you want what is best for his future. However, forcing your son now will cause him to protest and rebel which will make both of you miserable. It's not a good scenario.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    It might be worth considering getting him a private instructor. Not having to perform these moves in front of his peers might make him feel more comfortable. A private tutor wouldn't be cheap, but it could be temporary just until he acclimates. Just a thought. And/or: do it with him.

  10. #19
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    How about an instructional YouTube video series that you two could do together? He could learn the basics of self defense without being on display.

    BTW, my son encountered a similar situation to another poster (Batya? Sorry, have to go back and check. Nope...Seraphim). My son was a big kid, but an older (and smaller) kid kept harassing him on the walk home from school. One day he'd had enough...he's a slow burn but once he ignites, watch out! He turned around and shoved the older but smaller kid onto the ground and, leaning over him, told him very firmly "you do that again and I'll do this again". Kid left him alone after that.

  11. #20
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    How about an instructional YouTube video series that you two could do together? He could learn the basics of self defense without being on display.

    BTW, my son encountered a similar situation to another poster (Batya? Sorry, have to go back and check. Nope...Seraphim). My son was a big kid, but an older (and smaller) kid kept harassing him on the walk home from school. One day he'd had enough...he's a slow burn but once he ignites, watch out! He turned around and shoved the older but smaller kid onto the ground and, leaning over him, told him very firmly "you do that again and I'll do this again". Kid left him alone after that.
    Yeah, my son is slow to ignite as well. He was picked on from the day he started school at three years old . He had black eyes ,he was held down ,he was tormented ,he was held down and beaten he was swarmed. When he hit the fellow who tormented him for 4 months he was in grade 11. And even the vice principal told me the teachers could see it building for four months . Why the hell didnít they stop it from building? Because every child has a right to an education . 🙄 and schools had a no tolerance policy . Bullshyte they do. My son was small. 130 pounds in grade 11. But I told him to deck him and I would stand up for him. He did and the school did not punish him as they said the other boy had bullied my son since grade 9 and he had it coming. Take my boy home and calm him down.

    Now my son is over six feet and 200 pounds. No one wants to bully him.

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