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I've been in a relationship with a combat veteran for almost 2 months. He was diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar depression long before I met him and it affects him badly. About a month ago, he had to be admired into military hospital for a couple of days because it got so bad.

Our relationship is primarily long-distance. I love him and he says he loves me every day. There are also actions to back it up.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, he said he needed to take some time away from our relationship and social media for a short time (didn't give a specific time) after which he disabled all his social media. I respected his request and have been giving him space ever since.

It hurts but I think it's for the best. My biggest worry is if he'll come back to me.

Should I be worried?

Any further insight into this will greatly help.

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Have you met in person? He needs medical/psychiatric care, not a relationship.

I've been in a relationship with a combat veteran for almost 2 months. He was diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar depression long before I met him and it affects him badly. About a month ago, he had to be admired into military hospital for a couple of days because it got so bad.

Our relationship is primarily long-distance.

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He's been getting treatment for about 2 years. And he's consistently taking meds for it.

 

Being bipolar is life long treatment. ( my dad is bipolar) Depending on the severity and the length of time he’s had PTSD it could also be life long treatment and or affecting your life. ( I have had PTSD for almost 40 years )

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Being bipolar is life long treatment. ( my dad is bipolar) Depending on the severity and the length of time he’s had PTSD it could also be life long treatment and or affecting your life. ( I have had PTSD for almost 40 years )
I understand that. I'm also bipolar and getting treatment too.

So what's your take on it since you have firsthand experience with having pstd? Should I just walk away from him?

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I understand that. I'm also bipolar and getting treatment too.

So what's your take on it since you have firsthand experience with having pstd? Should I just walk away from him?

 

Your relationship is extremely new. I would give him the space he has asked for. My situation is a little different I had PTSD as a child before they knew kids could have PTSD. I wasnt officially diagnosed until I was about 46, and by then I had been with my husband for 23 years and we had a 16 year old son. Was it hard? You bet! But not something I would have walked away from . He was my only relationship my whole life .

 

But only knowing somebody 2 months and having never met them I would probably walk away .

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Your relationship is extremely new. I would give him the space he has asked for. My situation is a little different I had PTSD as a child before they knew kids could have PTSD. I wasnt officially diagnosed until I was about 46, and by then I had been with my husband for 23 years and we had a 16 year old son. Was it hard? You bet! But not something I would have walked away from . He was my only relationship my whole life .

 

But only knowing somebody 2 months and having never met them I would probably walk away .

I get what you're saying. Thanks so much. I'll give him a week or two before finally walking away. I'll also take this time to make peace with the end of the relationship.
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I understand that. I'm also bipolar and getting treatment too.

So what's your take on it since you have firsthand experience with having pstd? Should I just walk away from him?

 

Without even having met the person and all so new I'd step back and think "me first". Have I had been in a consistent relationship in person for a reasonable amount of time then I'd maybe make an effort to make things work.

 

BUT in either situation whenever a person says they need space, you should always respect their wishes.

 

PS: I'm not intolerant against mental issues as I struggle with it too and so do some very close family members, but having a choice and when starting something new, I always prefer going to people who seem not to have so much issues. I'm not at a stage where I know them enough to make sacrifices and endure hardships for them. I've met guys on first dates who were very honest to me about their mental issues and I respect that. But I had to politely decline a second date.

 

You don't know him in person to create such an attachment in which you'd be considering going through this with him or not. Meeting through a screen is not enough to make life changing decisions like moving close or enduring a relationship with a person with so much issues.

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Without even having met the person and all so new I'd step back and think "me first". Have I had been in a consistent relationship in person for a reasonable amount of time then I'd maybe make an effort to make things work.

 

BUT in either situation whenever a person says they need space, you should always respect their wishes.

I am respecting his wishes. Especially with all this good advice I have received, I haven't tried to contact him in these 2 days and I won't contact him at all. I don't wanna give up on him just yet though. I will wait for a while. If he doesn't come back, I'll take it as a break-up and move on like @RayOfLight said in his/comment above.

I've been in a number of long "face-to-face" relationships with guys who didn't have mental health problems and they still didn't work. So I'll also take this space to focus on my own things.[emoji4][emoji4]

I'm gonna be positive for a change.

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Only two months and long distance at that. And you love each other? Seriously, you don't know each other.

 

Did you answer the question about whether you've met him in person?

Yeah we do love each other. Especially since we were friends a month before. It shouldn't take years for you to decide whether you love someone or not. It's either you do or you don't.
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Green, pardon me for saying this, but you seem very naive to me.

 

You say he's a combat veteran with PTSD. How old is he? What war was he in? How do you know he's telling you the truth about anything.

 

This is a stranger you have met online. No doubt you've facetimed and talked on the phone, but for all you know he could be a player who has multiple account names and is talking to a bunch of women.

 

But let's say that he's legitimate. How far do you live apart? What do you do for a living? If he needs space when he hasn't even met you, chances are he has decided you're not for him. How much were you interacting with him during the day?

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Green, pardon me for saying this, but you seem very naive to me.

 

You say he's a combat veteran with PTSD. How old is he? What war was he in? How do you know he's telling you the truth about anything.

 

This is a stranger you have met online. No doubt you've facetimed and talked on the phone, but for all you know he could be a player who has multiple account names and is talking to a bunch of women.

 

But let's say that he's legitimate. How far do you live apart? What do you do for a living? If he needs space when he hasn't even met you, chances are he has decided you're not for him. How much were you interacting with him during the day?

We are both in our 20s with age difference of about 2 years. He was deployed to multiple places. He is telling the truth - I have seen the proof.

Even if I am naive, it's better to hope than to live a bitter distrustful life.

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Without even having met the person and all so new I'd step back and think "me first". Have I had been in a consistent relationship in person for a reasonable amount of time then I'd maybe make an effort to make things work.

 

BUT in either situation whenever a person says they need space, you should always respect their wishes.

 

PS: I'm not intolerant against mental issues as I struggle with it too and so do some very close family members, but having a choice and when starting something new, I always prefer going to people who seem not to have so much issues. I'm not at a stage where I know them enough to make sacrifices and endure hardships for them. I've met guys on first dates who were very honest to me about their mental issues and I respect that. But I had to politely decline a second date.

 

You don't know him in person to create such an attachment in which you'd be considering going through this with him or not. Meeting through a screen is not enough to make life changing decisions like moving close or enduring a relationship with a person with so much issues.

I appreciate what you're saying. That's why we plan to meet a few times to determine whether we're gonna go through with it or not because we know that it's not enough to just know each other over the phone.

 

That being said, I believe people with mental illnesses deserve love too. Relationships are not about winning or losing or who comes out on top, it's about loving someone for who they are and experiencing life with them. i like that you openly rejected those guys with issues - that's your decision. If it ends, it ends. At the end of the day, I will be able to say that I loved someone else wholeheartedly.

 

Besides 1 or 2 weeks is a good amount of time to wait and see what happens. In-person relationships also end whether you see each other everyday or not. Either way, it's about the true feelings of the people in the relationship.

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We are both in our 20s with age difference of about 2 years. He was deployed to multiple places. He is telling the truth - I have seen the proof.

Even if I am naive, it's better to hope than to live a bitter distrustful life.

 

Can i ask what proof he gave you? Anything can be falsified these days (photographic/documentation) I think Sarah is right that in such a sort space of time and that fact that you haven't even met yet, that you really don't know each other. She's not being hostile, just trying to get you to consider that he might not be who he says he is. You are just trusting his word that he is.

 

A few years ago a colleague and friend began an online relationship with an army veteran who too claimed to suffer with PTSD. He was good looking in his pictures (wearing his uniform and everything). Sent her photos of himself in this uniform regularly. Told her he loved her and wanted to marry her. Out of curiosity, i ran a reverse google image search with a few of his pics and it turned out there was a guy using these pics of a genuine veteran. He wasn't the guy in the pics. He was a con man who gained the affections of women to extort money or whatever out of them. It was all for fun and for his benefit. This was actually in the news and that the real veteran was made aware of it. Of course i told my colleague and she reported his twitter page (which is where he mostly talked from).

 

No one is going against you here, or being hostile. We're just trying to help you.

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