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Thread: Wife doesn't want family to visit

  1. #1

    Wife doesn't want family to visit

    My sister lives in another country and would like to visit. My wife doesn't want anyone to visit because she is unhappy with the house we live in. The house is an older house but there is nothing particularly wrong with it. Everything works and there are no smells or broken appliances/fixtures that would make the home unattractive. I'm frustrated because I'm pretty laid back and I also know my family would not be uncomfortable visiting with us here. I feel like my wife is being unreasonable and I wish she would be okay with us having family visit.

    Background: We have a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom home, 2 kids that share a room, a teenager in his own room, wife and I are in the master bedroom and my dad lives with us in the fourth bedroom. There is really no guest room but for two nights I figured our guest could camp out in the living room or my teenage son could give up his room and bunk it in one of two living rooms available.

    I enjoy having family around and this is very upsetting for me the fact that my wife is unhappy with the idea of anyone visiting with us even if they don't stay with us at the house.

    What should I do?

  2. #2
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    If your dad already lives with you she may feel overwhelmed already.

    What is their relationship like? Do they get along? Does she get along with your sister?

    If relationships are good and her only reason for this is embarrassment I say that she is unreasonable.

    Maybe hold a family meeting and have input from the kids... would they like to have aunty over? If they say yes, she shouldn't refuse. It was a family decision and they all live in the house not just her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yikes! Much too overcrowded already. Get your sis in touch with a BnB/hotel. Get your dad his own place. It's understandable your wife can't handle even more of your people. It's not about keeping up appearances or being laid back it's about too much work to host people in an already overcrowded place. You should be doing much more around the house and much more to care for your dad and your kids. Why should your wife entertain your sister when she is already forced to care for your dad and sacrifice money, food, time privacy etc for that? .
    Originally Posted by NotABadDude
    My sister lives in another country and would like to visit.We have a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom home, 2 kids that share a room, a teenager in his own room, wife and I are in the master bedroom and my dad lives with us in the fourth bedroom.

  4. #4
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    If someone comes from another country, they intend to stay for at least a week, if not 10 days to three weeks. I would not make the teenager give up their room. Its during the school year at this point. Its unfair for their room to be taken over. I would not make your sister sleep on the couch. When a guest sleeps on the couch, it has a way of taking over the house. People feel like they can't move freely in the house. And if the guest is a late sleeper its worse.

    I think you should look into a place for your sister to stay - maybe you can take your dad and your sister sightseeing to give your wife a break. Or you should better yet tell her you have no place for her to sleep and let her decide whether she wants to come or whether she investigates AirBnb or places on her own. Maybe she even wants to have dad stay with her to have a proper viist.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Afireblue

    Maybe hold a family meeting and have input from the kids... would they like to have aunty over? If they say yes, she shouldn't refuse. It was a family decision and they all live in the house not just her.
    this is not a family meeting situation where the family assesses whether the kids can properly care for a pet fish.
    this is where the husband attempts to have the kids make sad faces at mom to let Auntie stay.
    The husband and wife are the decision makers here and if both don't agree - then its not happening.
    if both husband and wife were wanting the sister to stay - but not sure if the kids would be okay with another sleeping arrangement - then sure, a family meeting. But its not the case.


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