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Thread: Did I handle this wrong? Drugs use by stepson

  1. #61
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JBenton
    That's what I'm thinking Ray - and here's the thing - she knows she has to got to therapy - she got names 3 months ago and has nothing - why? - it comes down to it's not a priority for her - she can say she is busy etc - but too busy not to work on herself and our marriage? I gave her another list this week - if nothing is done soon - idk I'm going in a couple of weeks for myself to deal with this and the anger over this building up - I would of been past this weeks ago - my belief is we are to forgive and move forward - but she keeps bringing this up and keeps this alive which pisses me off - that she won't be able to ever forgive me etc
    I was going to advise this ^^ You go. You go for yourself. You go for the kids and the side benefit it, may (or may not) motivate her to follow.

    I went by myself and it bothered my (ex) husband so much he decided to join me. Unfortunately he went for the wrong reasons, but ultimately it showed me what I needed to do.

  2. #62
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I don’t think it says “ armed” robbery.
    I stand corrected. But, it was attempted robbery.

    What is the story with this, OP?

  3. #63
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Mothers are always going to love their kids more. But this is not a problem, you are the main squeeze!

    Sometimes you have to take a step back and let people live their own lives, and not try to fix everything - you can't, anyway. Plus, you two have different parenting styles. So, her kid is a drugie, so what? As long as you don't have guns in the house, what's he going to do? Leave him alone. You can't fix the world - or somebody else's kids.

    There is an old song with lyrics: Just hold on loosely
    But don't let go
    If you cling to tightly
    You're gonna lose control
    Good Lord! Are these our standards now! He has already gotten in trouble with the law.

    Also, i did my fair share of smoking in high school, but did not bring it in the house. I also support legalization, but would not put up with this kids crap! Terrible influence for the other kids

  4. #64
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Mothers are always going to love their kids more. But this is not a problem, you are the main squeeze!

    Sometimes you have to take a step back and let people live their own lives, and not try to fix everything - you can't, anyway. So, her kid is a drugie, so what? As long as you don't have guns in the house, what's he going to do? Leave him alone.

    There is an old song with lyrics: Just hold on loosely
    But don't let go
    If you cling to tightly
    You're gonna lose control
    Untrue
    In a healthy married couple, the couple is a united front.

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  6. #65
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    Bottom line: your wife hit you. That is most certainly not acceptable! For the safety of your children and yourself, seriously seek help.

    As for her son who is beyond misbehaving:
    Originally Posted by JBenton
    this kid ended up arrested a few months later for pot and attempted robbery
    Whilst you cannot control his behaviour, it is your home. If he doesn't respect your rules, why not kick him out (provided you are legally able to as he is a minor).

    The safety of your children and yourself is at risk!
    Last edited by greendots; 03-29-2019 at 07:00 PM.

  7. #66
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Bravo you protected your own kids and stood up to this kid/your wife. Let your wife stew and sulk. Too bad. She in fact should thank you for being a good example and protecting your own kids from her spoiled derelict kid. Insist he stay at his own dad's if your wife is going to enable his drug use around your kids. Suggest she and her son go to therapy and stay out of it otherwise.

    If she wants a divorce, excellent let her pay for it. Good parenting is putting your kids first as you did, not making the household and your kids sick because your wife can't/won't manage or help her own kid.
    Originally Posted by JBenton
    One night the whole house stunk of it and when I went to the kitchen he was drugged up. Now I had my kids at the house as well (teenagers) and I don't want them to think this behavior is acceptable.

  8. #67
    Originally Posted by indea08
    He’s not your kid and his mom is fine with it. You won’t win with your self righteous POV.
    It's not about the kid smoking pot (he never said he couldn't) it's about him smoking it in the house when he made it clear that it wasn't allowed in the house. He broke the rule, greatly disrespecting him and the health of his other children and his witch wife attacked him for it.

  9. #68
    Originally Posted by indea08
    I agree with seraphim. Son comes before you. And while she shouldn’t have hit you, you have said that’s never happened before. She knew that she’d told her son it was okay, so she told you to back off. You didn’t listen and proceeded to berate him and call him a loser. I’d have been pretty livid if I was your wife too, you way overstepped.

    Is that worth breaking up your marriage over? To me it wouldn’t be. It just warrants an honest discussion with your wife.
    All he asked was that there be no drugs or smoking in the house. That's fair. They greatly disrespected him and his kids.

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