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Okay so I dated this guy for about 6 months but we barely saw each other. I only met up with him about 6 times and we spoke on the phone several times/texted a bit. After he moved houses, I went over one day to see the house and just chill with him. At that point we had only hugged and held hands on previous meets. When I went over that day we were talking and all of a sudden he started kissing me and It was my first kiss so In my mind I was freaking out. But I was only freaking out cause I felt NOTHING. No spark at all like zero. I did not feel a single butterfly in my stomach heck I wasn't even nervous despite it being my first kiss. He was very very touchy like he pushed me down and was kissing me a lotttt, I told him to calm down and he was respectful but he was using so much tongue (ew) and was touching up my boobs. I felt super uncomfortable but I didn't stop him cause we had been speaking for 6 months and I just wanted to feel that spark. When I realised it's getting a bit too out of hand I got up and said i had to leave and I called an Uber. When I got home I tried to message him, but my messages weren't going through. Then i see he blocked me on everything. Now after 2 months, he has unblocked me & keeps messaging me saying sorry making excuses and calling me with private numbers. I don't know what to do. I find him attractive in terms of looks but we have no chemistry. I don't know how to explain it but I think he's really good looking but I didn't feel any chemistry when we made out and he doesnt make me nervous at all despite the fact that I'm usually a very shy person & suffer from anxiety. Is there something wrong with me, I'm starting to think I'm asexual or something aghh I don't know. Also should I give him another chance? Please help!

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How old are you? This guy took advantage of the situation of you being in his house so he wanted to see how far he could get with you. The object was likely to have sex with you. I suspect you are quite young and inexperienced and didnt really understand what was going on due to being naive. Forget this guy. You cant make a relationship with no chemistry. If you have to, change your phone number then he cant call you from random phones. No you dont give him another chance. You dont really like him and he's looking to get laid. I doubt there's anything wrong with you.

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I'm with Melancholy, I think part of your lack of spark was being thrown with reckless abandon into a million firsts! Geez, the guy needs to slow down! It went from crazy kissing to boobs to sex (attempted)...0-100 in 6 seconds flat! For six months you barely saw each other, and the few times you did, the only thing you ever did was hug and old hands. Holy-moly, Batman, what was this guy thinking? I have no idea if you would have had that spark if he would have given you a light kiss, a hug, some touches earlier on and built up to the hot and heavy makeout, taken steps, eventually leading to sex.

 

Dump the chump. He wants sex, and he can't even work foreplay. Dating, touching, kissing, and building up to sex is foreplay. Foreplay in the bedroom is important, but I suspect he'd be a pump and dump, and you're left there wondering what just happened, and what about me? His behavior when you cut him off really tells you his intent and how he'll treat you in the future. Ignore him. Block if you must. He's looking for a lay and he really treated you poorly. I've had sex and kissed plenty of times, and to go from barely any contact to aggressive kissing and tossing to the bed would freak me out, and I would be out the door...sorry babe. If you were interested in me as a person, there would have been a gradual escalation mixed in with good G-rated, fun.

 

Always be careful going to a guys house or bringing him to yours. Clothes have a habit of coming off in these situations, and sometimes you let your hormones and feel good parts lead the way. I know you felt safe in this situation, and I can't fault you, but you really need to be mindful and careful.

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I'm in the 'what was he thinking' camp too.

 

I don't like how he blocked you so awkwardly just like that and calls you with creepy private numbers. I agree with purplepaisley about being cautious going over and inviting anyone over. Honestly I would have given this guy some leeway for his aggressive make out approach if he just apologized right out that night for the misunderstanding and looked genuinely remorseful (without all the crazy stuff after). As it stands... what a weirdo. Leave him alone and don't look back, sister!

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should I give him another chance?

 

Naaah. Why bother? No chemistry is a thing. It tells us when someone is a lousy match so we won't waste time trying to convert them into a good one. No chemistry alone says Next him, even if he wasn't a jerk about imposing himself on you and blocking you after he didn't get his way.

 

Most people are not our match. That's natural odds. Even when someone looks good on paper, if you're not feeling the good energy of simpatico, skip him and don't play.

 

Hold out for meeting a GOOD match. Some slob who's not interested in you beyond sex is not him.

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