It’s hard ...

Why is it so hard to try and see him as a friend? I’m been trying my best to just ignore him (as in like not text him as much unless it’s about like common interests we like) I’ve been doing things to get him off my mind and think about me. It’s really hard though... people on this forum say to just ignore him and find someone else to like. But isn’t it really that easy? Is it really that easy to find someone new? Is it that easy to abandon my own feelings? I didn’t think so... I’m a person who barely goes out to meet new people and meet very little people I try my best to see him as a friend... but it’s just so hard... and I’m pretty sure I’m not the girl he likes because he told me he had a crush on someone but he can’t tell them. Expecting it to be me would be terrible too because then i’d make myself salty af. I just don’t know what to do :/ although I’m trying super hard to just focus on me

You can't open the front door when you have your foot stuck in the back door. Join a co-ed sports team. Take dancing lessons. Join one or two meet up.com groups. Do volunteer work with environmental cleanups, or Habitat for Humanity, or at a zoo or museum.

Instead of wasting time on excuses and people who are deadness, be proactive and do something to achieve your goals.

one thing i do know is true its hard to get out of the friend zone. and then you cant make anyone feel anything thats all up to them, set small short term goals and go from tjerr.

Why is it so hard to try and see him as a friend? I’m been trying my best to just ignore him (as in like not text him as much unless it’s about like common interests we like) I’ve been doing things to get him off my mind and think about me. It’s really hard though... people on this forum say to just ignore him and find someone else to like. But isn’t it really that easy? Is it really that easy to find someone new? Is it that easy to abandon my own feelings? I didn’t think so... I’m a person who barely goes out to meet new people and meet very little people I try my best to see him as a friend... but it’s just so hard... and I’m pretty sure I’m not the girl he likes because he told me he had a crush on someone but he can’t tell them. Expecting it to be me would be terrible too because then i’d make myself salty af. I just don’t know what to do :/ although I’m trying super hard to just focus on me

As i said before, stop hanging out with him. The more you see him the more fixated you become on him. You need to distance yourself from him. Don't talk for a while. Don't text. Give yourself time to clear him out of your mind. It takes time but you will get there.

By trying to ignore him you continue to think about him.

If you think that finding someone new is hard, then it is.

We humans don’t love the other person. We love the romantic feeling that this other person generates in us. So we love the feeling by itself.

Why don’t you direct that romantic feeling to someone else?

A crush can only be cured by a crush.

You write that you are a person who barely goes out to meet new people. What don’t you try to change that a bit?

I had a huge crush on one of my friends. She was absolutely perfect in my eyes... with the exception that she was happily married. It sometimes became impossible to think about anything else but the thing that got me over it instantly was dating somebody else.

I rationalised that what I wanted was impossible so I made effort to meet other people and one just stuck. As soon as I had another woman to put my energies into, I took my crush off the pedestal I put her on and saw all of her imperfections and flaws at the same time that I’d been blissfully ignoring up until that point. The relationship I had lasted 3 months but I’m happy to say the feelings I’d had for my crush had vanished completely during that time and have never resurfaced. I still spend time with my friend (even in one on one situations) and I see nothing more than friendship any more. The best cure is absolutely to find others to focus your attentions on... but ones who reciprocate. Don’t go jumping out out of the frying pan and into the fire. Find someone who is emotionally available to you and see what happens.