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Thread: Mums controllinh

  1. #1

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    Mums controllinh

    Im not sure what to do , all my life my mum has been controlling me and I can see it In her what she does and I've googled controlling mums and she fits every item that is listed. I cant move out cos she will blackmail me with oh I can't run a house on my own and pay for bedroom tax. Yet she says she has been in controlling relationship with her ex and she has but yet she cant see she is doing it herself . Putting me down , making a big drama from a little things , I make a mistake or drop something it's the end of the world . Im in a rut it's like I can't do anything I have no privacy it's like in stuck . I want to tell her but I know it will make her angry and she wondwrs why im so angry and critical of myself. Just don't know what to do

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    How old are you?
    Do you have a full time job?

  3. #3

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    Im 25 and no

  4. #4

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    I volunteer in a charity shop as much as I can to try and escape it all

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tiny14
    I volunteer in a charity shop as much as I can to try and escape it all
    Are you unable to work full time do to disability or some such? I ask because if you get a full time job you may be able to afford a place of your own to rent or if not that, move out into a roommate situation which would be better than being verbally abused and emotionally manipulated into feeling guilt.

  7. #6
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    Why aren't you working?

    What is a bedroom tax?

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by Tiny14
    Im not sure what to do , all my life my mum has been controlling me and I can see it In her what she does and I've googled controlling mums and she fits every item that is listed. I cant move out cos she will blackmail me with oh I can't run a house on my own and pay for bedroom tax. Yet she says she has been in controlling relationship with her ex and she has but yet she cant see she is doing it herself . Putting me down , making a big drama from a little things , I make a mistake or drop something it's the end of the world . Im in a rut it's like I can't do anything I have no privacy it's like in stuck . I want to tell her but I know it will make her angry and she wondwrs why im so angry and critical of myself. Just don't know what to do
    Time to get a back bone and get out. Don't live like this. She cant stop you from having a future. It's YOUR life, live it the way YOU want to. Who cares if she gets angry at you moving out. That's HER problem, not yours. Unstick yourself. Stop LETTING her control you. You take the control for once, do it before its too late and it rubs off on you causing you to control future partners and children. There is nothing stopping you.

  9. #8
    Originally Posted by Tiny14
    Im 25 and no
    Why? Why don't you have a job at your age? Stop being a doormat and grow up.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Tiny14
    Im not sure what to do , all my life my mum has been controlling me and I can see it In her what she does and I've googled controlling mums and she fits every item that is listed. I cant move out cos she will blackmail me with oh I can't run a house on my own and pay for bedroom tax. Yet she says she has been in controlling relationship with her ex and she has but yet she cant see she is doing it herself . Putting me down , making a big drama from a little things , I make a mistake or drop something it's the end of the world . Im in a rut it's like I can't do anything I have no privacy it's like in stuck . I want to tell her but I know it will make her angry and she wondwrs why im so angry and critical of myself. Just don't know what to do
    You are making a big drama - if you break something, you replace it. if you live there, you get a job so you are not eating her out of house and home and contribute to the bills.
    You have no privacy because you live with another person. if you want privacy, go to the library, or get your own place. She is probably telling you that you can't move out - because you have no means to support yourself. How can you just volunteer at 25? Stop googling your mother -- you can make google fit whatever you want to make her -- and start being an adult. you know the phrase "my house/my rules?""

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Still waiting to see if you have some sort of disability that keeps you from earning a full time living, Tiny????


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