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Thread: Is my girlfriend cheating on me?

  1. #1
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    Is my girlfriend cheating on me?

    So... to speed things up: My girlfriend had this guy who was texting her on social media EVERY DAY.
    When i noticed , i asked who was the guy, and she said to me not worry about it, they were just friends. I dind't buy at the very beginning, so grabed her phone one day, when she was in the shower, and saw old conversations of the two...very intimate conversations .
    I imediatly asked what was going on , and she told me that they had a relationship , (she was going out with both of us), but the guy found out about me , and eventually kick her.
    We had a discussion, and i told her to block him in every social media and never talk to guy again, because the next time i was going to break up with her. This happened in my first week of dating....

    Jumping to some some years , (very recently) she let her whatsapp logged on my computer, and... there he was. Same guy, hitting on her. She didn't cut off the guy, just kept laughing, and responding his texts. I stopped all i was doing to see if eventually they will say something that proves she was cheating on me, but they just continued to talk dumb things. In the evening i called her, explained the situation and we break up. She became very angry, said that i was very imature, and she wasnt going to do anything with the guy, even if he wanted. A week passed, and after i felt very awful, she called me and we came back togheter. But , it gets worse...



    I got her phone again, to see her texts. In a conversation with a friend of hers (female), her friend said:
    " Go after him, hes the love of your life. Sometimes its better to be loyal than faithfull, (wich is not your case)".

    The conversation was dated from the day we came back, (probably the friend was giving some advice about me), but, the thing IS, the sentence has a double meaning.
    *She was cheating on me, and her friend knows about,
    * Her friend was saying that she was faithfull (didn't cheat), but not loyal to me , because she didn't tell me she still talked to the guy.

    I really don't know what to do. Please help me figure.

  2. #2
    You break up with her for good. Not only did she two-time you, but lied about being in contact with him. 3 times you asked her stop talking to her and every time she didn't listen to you and continued an emotional affair at the least. This shows you that she doesn't care about you as much as you think she does. If your relationship meant anything to her she wouldn't be so disloyal. She is making a fool of you and the fact that her friends know what she is doing is humiliating. Please see sense and open your eyes to what she is doing to you :(

  3. #3
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    Leave her for good.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Do you want to hear a classic cheater line?

    "We are just friends"

    You know what to do but you don't want to face it.

    Lost

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Did you want to hear something other then what you know you need to do which is "dump her?"

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    You break up with her for good. Not only did she two-time you, but lied about being in contact with him. 3 times you asked her stop talking to her and every time she didn't listen to you and continued an emotional affair at the least. This shows you that she doesn't care about you as much as you think she does. If your relationship meant anything to her she wouldn't be so disloyal. She is making a fool of you and the fact that her friends know what she is doing is humiliating. Please see sense and open your eyes to what she is doing to you :(
    I know, the situation itself is a reason to me break up with her. Problem is that, with the feelings i have for her, i dont even know were to start...
    And , with this thing her friend said to her, literally, i dont know what to think anymore... she was just talking to the guy , or phisically cheating ? If so, was just this guy, or she was doing with everybody?

    I confronted her about what her friend from college was saying... she freaked out. She said she didn't know what i was talking about, and i was extremely insecure for looking at her phone again. I kept asking her , over and over, but she continued to put the blame ON ME.
    The next day, she made her friend send an audio to her phone, apologizing to me, saying that what she said, was not what I was thinking (!!!!!!??????)
    Surprisingly, in this audio where her friend tried to explain the meaning of her sentence, she said nothing at all (neither of the two options I put in this thread), and stuttered a lot. Is this a evidence that she was cheating , and her friend knew?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dylan Paul
    I know, the situation itself is a reason to me break up with her. Problem is that, with the feelings i have for her, i dont even know were to start...
    And , with this thing her friend said to her, literally, i dont know what to think anymore... she was just talking to the guy , or phisically cheating ? If so, was just this guy, or she was doing with everybody?

    I confronted her about what her friend from college was saying... she freaked out. She said she didn't know what i was talking about, and i was extremely insecure for looking at her phone again. I kept asking her , over and over, but she continued to put the blame ON ME.
    The next day, she made her friend send an audio to her phone, apologizing to me, saying that what she said, was not what I was thinking (!!!!!!??????)
    Surprisingly, in this audio where her friend tried to explain the meaning of her sentence, she said nothing at all (neither of the two options I put in this thread), and stuttered a lot. Is this a evidence that she was cheating , and her friend knew?
    These are your choices either leave her because you cannot trust her or learn to let her be the flirt and emotional cheater she is and stay with her.

    You keep asking questions hoping we will tell you what you want to hear because your too afraid to accept the truth.

    You'll always be on edge with her as you are right now.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    When you think of your perfect relationship, does it involve your SO cheating, lying, sneaking around flirting with other men, breaking your trust over and over, you policing her behavior, checking her phone and actually finding evidence of cheating? I'm guessing not.

    Time to put this one out to the curb and get yourself checked for std's too. Cheaters do more than hurt you, they can share things with you that can kill you. How many times does she have to show you that she is a cheater, a liar, a manipulator who doesn't have one ounce of respect for you and who knows that you are such a pathetic doormat that even if you do kick her out briefly, all she has to do is make goo goo eyes at you, make some bs promises she doesn't mean and you'll be back for more abuse. Yes, cheating is abuse.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    These are your choices either leave her because you cannot trust her or learn to let her be the flirt and emotional cheater she is and stay with her.

    You keep asking questions hoping we will tell you what you want to hear because your too afraid to accept the truth.

    You'll always be on edge with her as you are right now.
    I know EXACTLY what i need to do, because i didn't do it when i was supposed to. I could'nt. My mom was dying of cancer when i discovered she was talking to the guy the second time. I was taking care of her in the hospital 4 days a week , and somehow i could'nt do it all by myself. I needed her around, even knowing that maybe she cheated/or still had feelings for the guy. My mom passed away in November last year, and i made the decision to try to forget what happened between me and my girlfriend, but my thoughts continue to torment me.
    See how its not so simple? ;)

    In any given moment i said that i want you, or anybody tell me what i "want to hear", (otherwise, I would not come and ask a bunch of strangers on the internet about my relationship, it would be simpler forget everything and stick with her).
    I just need help of figuring out if she physically betrayed me with the information i have, and eventually HOW to break up with her.
    Dont get me wrong :)

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    You can't trust her so it doesn't matter if she physically cheated with you or not.
    She won't stop flirting and talking with him so it doesn't matter if she physically cheated on you or not

    The problem is that you don't like it and you don't want her to do it and you can't relax and enjoy your relationship because she disrespects you with her actions with this guy and she has zero consideration for how her interaction with him makes you feel. She doesn't care much about your happiness and you don't care much about it either or you won't leave someone who disrespects you so.

    I am sorry for the loss of your mother that is a great loss to bear but that is over now and you shouldn't any longer use her passing as an excuse to give your disrespecting girlfriend a pass for her behavior. I hope one day you get the strength to leave her so that you can take the time to heal from the breakup and then find a woman that doesn't cause you all this anxiety. Someone who doesn't need the attention of other men to get her through her day.

    Good luck.

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