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Thread: Who pays for drinks, coffee or dinner etc on a first date

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Call me cheap but I like a first date where no one pays. My husband impressed me with his savvy on our first date and it was fun. We went on a hike together for about 3 hours. I don't recommend this for everyone but I'll just say it was a fairly frequented trail and of course we met beforehand for a few minutes and chatted before heading to the trail. I'm also fairly certain I would have successfully pushed him off a boulder if I felt threatened.

    Go for a walk, check out some sights and sounds, chat at a park or meet in a public space. There's lots to do where you don't have to pay a cent. Save your money for other things when you're more involved with each other. It was later on that he took me to very nice places and introduced me to people he knew in his industry.
    Great way to look at it! Thank you!

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by happyfrank
    I just went on a first date and I invited her to eat.

    She scared me since she wanted me to meet her family. Paying for a meal is a small price to pay to feel if it's a match.

    I think planning hiking or adventure activity puts you in line to be friend zoned early in the courtship. That's just me.
    That would scare me too - big time!

  3. #13
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It's very individual. As long as your son's date is agreeable with "going dutch" (splitting the bill), then both sides cooperate with this arrangement. I don't think it's a turn off for women. I've known some boyfriend-girlfriend relationships where they take turns paying the bill. Dinner for 2 is paid by the man and next time, the lady pays for 2 dinners. It really depends on what they're comfortable with.

    When my husband and I were dating, we generally split the bill or took turns paying for each others dinners or lunch. Same with coffee, snacks, etc. It's only fair. Some people are on budgets and getting stuck with the entire bill can get expensive quickly. It's considerate to pay our own way.

    If either the man or woman insists upon paying the entire bill, each and every time, then that's fine, too especially if they can afford it!

    There should be a clear understanding about who pays for what from the beginning in order to prevent awkwardness and / or disdain.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    Yup, I agree. It would make a nice impression on me if the guy were to pay.
    It's kind of a turn on too, don't you think? Assuming I'm attracted to him in the first place.

    It's the whole "take charge" thing - I like it, turns me on.

    Having said that, if I am not into a guy and don't wish to see him again, I will actually offer to pay my half.

    Most times, he won't let me, but I will offer.

    I feel a bit guilty having him pay when I don't plan on going out with him again.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    It's very individual. As long as your son's date is agreeable with "going dutch" (splitting the bill), then both sides cooperate with this arrangement. I don't think it's a turn off for women. I've known some boyfriend-girlfriend relationships where they take turns paying the bill. Dinner for 2 is paid by the man and next time, the lady pays for 2 dinners. It really depends on what they're comfortable with.

    When my husband and I were dating, we generally split the bill or took turns paying for each others dinners or lunch. Same with coffee, snacks, etc. It's only fair. Some people are on budgets and getting stuck with the entire bill can get expensive quickly. It's considerate to pay our own way.

    If either the man or woman insists upon paying the entire bill, each and every time, then that's fine, too especially if they can afford it!

    There should be a clear understanding about who pays for what from the beginning in order to prevent awkwardness and / or disdain.
    I think your last sentence is the key, and that it is very individual. I was just wondering because, as I mentioned, I haven't dated in a long time and I'm old fashioned. xx

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    I think your last sentence is the key, and that it is very individual. I was just wondering because, as I mentioned, I haven't dated in a long time and I'm old fashioned. xx
    I agree it's individual, but is it really "old fashioned"? It's gallant, it's chivalrous, it's gracious.

    Hell, it's masculine! ;)

    It's a turn on!

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It's kind of a turn on too, don't you think? Assuming I'm attracted to him in the first place.

    It's the whole "take charge" thing - I like it, turns me on.

    Having said that, if I am not into a guy and don't wish to see him again, I will actually offer to pay my half.

    Most times, he won't let me, but I will offer.

    I feel a bit guilty having him pay when I don't plan on going out with him again.
    I, too, have always offered, and meant it. But, I'm from another generation and chivalry was very much in those days. Nowadays, I just don't know. My son didn't go into details so I'm not certain what transpired. I should perhaps ask for some details to satisfy my curiosity..

  9. #18
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    Thank you all for your responses! xx

  10. #19
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    I think if men realized what a turn on it is, they might be inclined to pay more often.

    For me, friends split the bill; yeah it really would feel more like we're friends if we were to split.

    A man who wants to court me romantically will pay and be happy to pay!

    That's how it's always been for me.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I expect women to pay for me on a first date.

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