Jump to content

My tinder date is high school friends with this guy I dated last year.


Honeycomb8

Recommended Posts

I joined tinder last week and have met 3 guys irl so far. All of them want second dates but during one of my convos, I found out that this one guy went to the same high school as this guy I had 6 dates with, last year around Sept and Oct. In the end I was the one that pulled back and we stopped talking.

 

I just saw on his fb they're pretty good friends.

 

 

Uh.

 

 

Should I proceed?

Link to comment

Yes you should.

 

You had 6 dates with a guy a year ago. Not yesterday, not the previous week. One year ago, and with whom you have nothing today.

 

So it happened that you got attracted to another each happens to be that other guy’s (good) friend. So what? You didn’t aim for it, did you?

 

If I were you I would proceed and once the whole situation gets known to both of them, I would let them decide the outcome of the situation which depends on the foundation of their friendship.

 

If you feel that you are getting between two friends, do not proceed.

Link to comment

No, no, no... the «don’t date your friend’s ex» rule is about making sure that you don’t step on anyone’s toes and hidden residual feelings.

 

After 6 dates and no sex - AND 6 months later - there are no residual feelings.

 

Maybe it will be awkward for about a day, but I hardly think you were one of his «great loves».

 

You are in the clear.

Link to comment

I don't see how this could be awkward in the least—at least not for longer than 10 seconds.

 

Don't know how big a town you live in, but I spent a few years living in a pretty small city where the dating pool in my age group was pretty tiny. As a result you'd end up on dates and quickly discover that they slept with a friend of yours, or your theirs, or whatever. Not awkward, just adulthood.

Link to comment

They're pretty good friends. The other guy kept commenting on his profile pics, literally one comment was that he cropped him out of the profile shot and this tinder guy literally has a pic of the other guy ( and another friend) as one of the statuses that is

public. Maybe not super close friend but def good friends once upon a time. You don't post public statuses of ppl you're just acquaintances with.

Link to comment
They're pretty good friends. The other guy kept commenting on his profile pics, literally one comment was that he cropped him out of the profile shot and this tinder guy literally has a pic of the other guy ( and another friend) as one of the statuses that is

public. Maybe not super close friend but def good friends once upon a time. You don't post public statuses of ppl you're just acquaintances with.

 

So?? None of that should matter to you because it's not about you.

Link to comment
So?? None of that should matter to you because it's not about you.

 

Agree ^ . It sounds like you’re assuming that this previous guy you dated is someone going to be affected by you dating this new guy, and/or that this new guy is going to be affected by you having dated the previous guy.

 

For all you know, neither’s gonna give a dam*. You’re giving too much thought or weight to something that could very well be a non-issue.

 

If you want to date the guy, proceed.

 

If there’s some bro code that either one of them feels is going to be violated or broken by the second guy dating you, it’s between the two of them to figure out, not you.

Link to comment
It matters cos it'll be awkward. Isn't there some sorta code in place?

 

 

Nah I don't sleep with guys that soon.

 

I'd just tell the guy that you're going on a date with that you noticed he's friends with someone you went out with before and is that going to be a problem? Get it out there immediately and then you can just see him with it behind you or not see him at all if its an issue.

 

Personally I'd not go on a date with him. I'd not want to give any impressions that I'm up to doing the "team" so to speak. Drama free is me.

Link to comment

I had this kind of thing happen many many times. No biggie. Really.

 

By contrast -here's a great story. Years ago I contacted a cute guy on a site (back then the photos were not as good quality). We message some and then I realize he is the ex of an acquaintance of mine and I have met him before when they were dating. And I grew up with the acquaintance and we have mutual friends. So he calls me and I tell him "look I realized that you are L's ex so I don't think we should meet" and he says "we broke up a long time ago....." - something like that. I forgot how I ended the call but we did not make any plans to meet or speak again.

 

A little while later his ex calls me and tells me that he said I contacted him first (true but I didn't know who he was at that point) and some ridiculous lie about how he told me he didn't want to meet me, etc. I completely let it go. They've now been married about 15 years after several back and forth iterations.

 

Another time, someone contacted me on a site and I discovered my friend had dated him for 6 months and ended things 6 months earlier. She was not a close friend anymore but she'd been crazy about him. I'd never met him -I recognized his name/details. So I called him and told him I knew H and that I didn't think we should meet. He said I was being a very thoughtful friend. I never told H (why?)

 

So those are cases where I wouldn't meet - yours -totally no biggie at all.

 

(In another twist when my husband and I got back together I found out that a mutual friend of ours had set him up on a blind date with H -and I'd introduced H to the mutual friend!! They went out one time and my husband wasn't into her- they never made the connection to me at any point. I thought it was odd of our mutual friend to set him up in that situation)

 

Sorry if off topic and I hope you decide to see this guy again.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...