Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 50

Thread: Cancelled Date, bother reaching back out?

  1. #1

    Cancelled Date, bother reaching back out?

    Dating is the worst. So many flakes that it's hard to pick out when people are being honest so I need some impartial views. Here's the situation.

    Had a date Thursday. I texted her the day before (Wednesday) letting her know I was looking forward to meeting up. She responds 3 hours later saying "Hey I'm so sorry I'm just getting back to you. My roommate went to the doctor Friday and found out she has the flu. I started feeling ty yesterday afternoon and it hasn't gotten better so I probably should take it easy tomorrow because I've been working the last 8 days. I'm really really sorry." I was pissed off in the moment because so many flakes so I just responded "Get well soon!" lol So should I bother reaching back out or was she legit blowing me off? Here's why I feel that she was blowing me off: 1. Why didn't she text me at all Wednesday to say, "Hey, I'm not feeling too well." Like, had I not reached out, would she have cancelled 2 hours before or worse not even shown up?? 2. She didn't offer a "Let's do next week" or a "Once I'm feeling better I'll reach out." BUT, maybe she would have led to that had I not been so abrasive in my response. What do you guys think? Should I reach out or was it a blow off?

    Sigh.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    12,950
    Gender
    Female
    I'd leave it and if she contacts you then consider whether or not you're still wanting to bother with her.

    I think it's a given that if someone cancels and doesn't reschedule that you just write them off as flakes. If she's interested she'll contact you.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    16,561
    Gender
    Female
    One word...NEXT.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,220
    Gender
    Female
    I agree.

    In future - it’s always a better “look” to be more gracious about it rather than abrupt (ie: “oh! I’m sorry to hear that. Of course! Get lots of rest, take care of yourself and let me know when you are feeling up to getting together»)... but ultimately, it’s on her to reschedule and/or initiate now.

    «My roommate is sick - and I’m not actually sick - but I could maybe sorta possibly be sick» is a pretty weak excuse. To be perfectly honest, i think this one is done... but hey... you never know.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,446
    Gender
    Female
    I can think of times in my life, that at the last minute I don't feel well and either cancelled or wanted to.
    If I had cancelled, much like your friend, I'd sure as heck be reaching out to you to lock down another date. That's IF I was interested.

    If she's not interested, she'll let this fade.
    If she is, you'll be hearing from her.

  7. #6
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    918
    Gender
    Female
    It's an excuse but don't take it too personally. Not only is this typical of online dating, but you've never met her in person, so it literally can't be about you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,447
    Gender
    Female
    Well I spent last week sick with some bug or other and my mental state was not up to par, so I could have given an incomplete text to someone because of that. I'd hate to think someone wrote me off because I was sick. You know if you believe her or not, so act accordingly.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    1,028
    Gender
    Female
    I agree that she could have done a much better job in communicating. True she may have been feeling a bit under the weather, so to me, this is a gray area, with most of me leaning towards "NEXT".

    If I were you, I'd move on and look for another person to date, but if she reaches out, be receptive, at least initially.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,198
    I would wait to see if she reaches out to you.

    She should have given you more notice, but maybe she was really out of it.

  11. #10
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The emerald city
    Posts
    704
    Gender
    Male
    Don't chase after her.

    Either she really had the flu, and getting your text prompted her to make a decision, or it was an excuse and getting your texted prompted her to bail out for some other reason. Maybe both things.

    Either way, if she is interested she will get back to you. Not sure which is true really, but you may as well give her the benefit of the doubt if she contacts you again.

    If she does, and you still want to meet her, you need to set up a new date as part of the communication she initiates.

    If she won't set one up, or she does but then bails out again, I'd leave it alone.

Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •