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Thread: Gift for bf's daughter's bday?

  1. #1
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Gift for bf's daughter's bday?

    Hey all... not sure where to put this question, hopefully this is the right spot.

    I have been in a relationship with a lovely man now for just over 3 months. Last week, I met his daughter (she is 9 turning 10 later this week) and a bunch of his family for the first time. It went really well, they were very nice and thought I was nice too so win win! :)

    I got invited to have cake with the family this Friday after they go on their adventures for his daughters bday... am thinking I want to get her a card and maybe a little something like a gift card (small amount visa gift card that she can spend on what she wants)... was going to ask her dad if he would be okay with that but thought I would also put that out here.

    Would it be weird for me to get her something given we have only met once? I don't want to overstep or for anyone to think I am buying her affection... but given they invited me to the bday festivities I wanted to do something, as I normally would for anyone whose bday festivities I went to.

    What are your thoughts on this?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Happy to hear things are going well. Speaking to your date is a good idea. I'd go from there.

  3. #3
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    I would definitely get her something (nothing extreme, but as you suggested, a simple gift card worth a modest amount is a great idea).

    Since you were invited to participate in part of her birthday celebration, I think the proper etiquette would be to get her something. I canít imagine showing up empty-handed.

    I donít think it could be interpreted as you attempting to buy her affection. It would only seem this way if your birthday present was extreme/extravagant, and your birthday gift idea sounds pretty reasonable.

    Youíre just practicing good etiquette, if you ask me. Itís thoughtful.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Yay to everything moving along!

    Can very much relate to the shoes your in, as I'm in similar ones myself, right down to the time table and (at least for me) my first experience in dating someone with a child.

    But, yes, get her something! It's a bday, you're invited, everyone will appreciate it. And, of course, no need for it to be some massive gesture. Just a small, thoughtful gift.

    I'm sure her dad will say as much if you run it by him, and will appreciate you showing effort in navigating it all.

    Excited for you!

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I think that 3 months isn't enough time for you to be introduced to his children. It's unsettling for a child to see his/her parent with new people in their lives, and unless there has been a commitment for the future (ie marriage), you should wait before you become a part of that child's life.

    I know others will disagree.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It would be a gracious gesture to bring a modest, inexpensive gift such as what you had suggested. I never show up empty-handed either.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    I would definitely get her something (nothing extreme, but as you suggested, a simple gift card worth a modest amount is a great idea).

    Since you were invited to participate in part of her birthday celebration, I think the proper etiquette would be to get her something. I canít imagine showing up empty-handed.

    I donít think it could be interpreted as you attempting to buy her affection. It would only seem this way if your birthday present was extreme/extravagant, and your birthday gift idea sounds pretty reasonable.

    Youíre just practicing good etiquette, if you ask me. Itís thoughtful.
    Great advice -I'd do exactly this.

  9. #8
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    Get her a gift card, then she get what she wants: iTunes, Target etc...

    Enjoy the party. Sounds like things are going well.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If you want some gift ideas for a 10 year old girl, I'd suggest flavored lip gloss (no tint), and if her dad says she likes to read, a book. I think they still sell The Babysitters' Club series or any book that would appeal to a pre-teen. They also have cute, cheap jewelry at Claire's if you have any of those stores in a nearby mall. I think it's a little more fun to receive a small gift than money.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    If you want some gift ideas for a 10 year old girl, I'd suggest flavored lip gloss (no tint), and if her dad says she likes to read, a book. I think they still sell The Babysitters' Club series or any book that would appeal to a pre-teen. They also have cute, cheap jewelry at Claire's if you have any of those stores in a nearby mall. I think it's a little more fun to receive a small gift than money.
    I agree with this.

    Personally, Iíd go with a small gift rather than a gift card. Not that there is anything wrong with a gift card... but a small gift is something you can connect and talk about. Especially - if youíve met her - something you noticed she might like.

    I was going to suggest fake/fun costume jewelry as well if sheís girly, or my goddaughters loved those crafty kits you can buy to make keychains or bracelets or whatever.

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