Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 43

Thread: Physical contact on the first date

  1. #21
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    147
    I'm happy I'm not alone in this, maybe I'm just too old school for this Tinder thing.

    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    A hug on a first date? Why? I don't know him, he doesn't know me. It's weird.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    3,932
    I think itís pretty common to start a date with a hug, but anything more than that seems over the top and too personal.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,846
    Gender
    Female
    It doesn't matter if touching is encouraged or not or if it's right or wrong. What matters is that you're uncomfortable and you have all the right to be. This means that this is not the right guy for you. It's normal that many dates are one and done.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    147
    Hugging a guy I just met is too personal for me. I kissed him on the cheek, and then he hugged me, also when we said goodbye. Then again, Iím from a different cultural background, so maybe I have different expectations.

    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I think itís pretty common to start a date with a hug, but anything more than that seems over the top and too personal.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,846
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I think itís pretty common to start a date with a hug, but anything more than that seems over the top and too personal.
    Yes, it'd be for me too.

    Something funny with the cultural differences I experience on touching here. I come from a south European country and I'm living in a Scandinavian country. In my country there's a habit of kissing the cheeks of the person lightly when you meet them (woman to woman or man to woman) and you do that with almost everyone weather you know them well or not, unless you're at a professional setting or a more formal situation. It's so natural I don't even think about it. Here people greet with a handshake or a light hug. I have to remember this because 2 dates I forgot that the habits here are different and I kissed the cheeks of one guy who was going to give me an handshake and you should see the horror in his face. It was super awkward. On the other date I forgot too and he was approaching to give me a hug and I did "my country's greeting" and he looked at me like I was an alien lol

    But when it comes to general touching I'm very shy on the first dates and would feel uncomfortable if someone was so touchy to me as this guy with the OP.

  7. #26
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    653
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by kim42
    I actually don't want to go on a second date with him. Besides him being touchy feely, he keeps texting me all the time which honestly freaks me out.
    Texting you all the time after only one date is pretty creepy. Did you already commit to a second date? If so, how do you plan to discourage it?

  8. #27
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Southwest
    Posts
    556
    Gender
    Female
    I personally don't mind touching, and the level you describe, probably wouldn't bother me at all. I say "probably" because while I don't mind it, I don't know if this guy was touching too much, but I definitely don't mind a higher level than you. I also don't mind holding hands or kissing on the first date. I don't know what is considered "normal," but I do see that a lot of people don't like any high level of touch...maybe none at all...on a first date.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    33,795
    Gender
    Male
    Ok first meets are for data gathering, so what you know is he freely breaks physical barriers in order to forward the physical aspect. Is that for you or not? A hug at the end of the date or holding your hand or arm is not excessively inappropriate. Was he suggestive in texts or in person?

    All you need to know is if he asks for a second date, do you want to go?
    Originally Posted by kim42
    this guy touched my elbow, my arm, and my hair. He also tried to hug me which I find a bit too much, especially since it was the first time I met him.

  10. #29
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    147
    No I didn't commit to a second date yet, and I already texted him I am too busy this week.

    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Texting you all the time after only one date is pretty creepy. Did you already commit to a second date? If so, how do you plan to discourage it?

  11. #30
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    147
    The thing is Iím not used to dating complete strangers from dating apps, the guys I dated were all friends of my friends, and we knew each other for some time before we went on a date. I don't necessarily mind light touching on the first date if I know the guy, and we are comfortable with each other. But this was a random guy from Tinder, we were talking for about 15 minutes when he started to touch my elbow. I felt like he was not respecting my personal space.

    Originally Posted by purplepaisley
    I personally don't mind touching, and the level you describe, probably wouldn't bother me at all. I say "probably" because while I don't mind it, I don't know if this guy was touching too much, but I definitely don't mind a higher level than you. I also don't mind holding hands or kissing on the first date. I don't know what is considered "normal," but I do see that a lot of people don't like any high level of touch...maybe none at all...on a first date.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •