Is he interested in this other woman?

I need some help. Recently I am suspicious that my boyfriend is interested in this woman. I have seen them talking at the club we attend. I am not sure about the situation. They were chatting normally. But there are some reasons for me to be suspicious. He usually doenst have many female friends, so why this one? I know they know each other for some time, because I have seen them interact before. I am feeling so paranoid and I dont know what to do

What are these reasons for being suspicious? If they've known each other a long time then it's normal that they chat. Is there any flirty eye contact or mannerisms when they chat? If you're that bothered just ask him straight if he likes her and tell him that him chatting to her so much makes you uncomfortable.

thanks. I couldn t see very much of it. She has some mannerisms when talking to people, not only to him. maybe it is agut feeling...I cant explain it

Sounds like this is just paranoia.

I'll prompt you once more: what facts are making you suspicious? Your feelings matter, but they don't count as facts.

How do you know that he's known her for a long time? Do you ever interact with the woman? If not, why not?

I suppose if I was uncomfortable the way you are, my first move would be to casually join in the conversation. He is your boyfriend and you are at the club. If there is no real evidence, however, I would lay off and try not to let jealousy ruin your relationship.

I know they know each other because I have seen they intereact before. She is friend of some of the his friends. I have already seen her many times and we have some friends in common. I was unconfortable to join them because I didnt want him to notice I was suspicious of something. In fact the only fact I have is that I think they intereact too much. but maybe I dont know the context of it...

I know they know each other because I have seen they intereact before. She is friend of some of the his friends. I have already seen her many times and we have some friends in common. I was unconfortable to join them because I didnt want him to notice I was suspicious of something. In fact the only fact I have is that I think they intereact too much. but maybe I dont know the context of it...

This screams complete paranoia. It's all in your head. You all have common friends so it's natural for them to converse. The only person who going to be the demise of your relationship is you because you are seeing things that are not there.

thanks I have some severe abandonment issues that are rooted in childhood. It is so difficult to me to have a relationship, my mind is always out of control I have been in therapy but I dont think it is working well..

If he's going home with you and not he it's good.

If he's not hanging out/going on what looks like one-on-one dates with her, it's nothing to worry about.

If she's a real friend and they do spend time together - the good guy introduces her to you. The bad boy does not. This is written in stone.

thanks I have some severe abandonment issues that are rooted in childhood. It is so difficult to me to have a relationship, my mind is always out of control I have been in therapy but I dont think it is working well..

Does he know about your issues?

he does not. I am used to act cool and control my emotions.

Doesn't seem to be working. You have to be honest with him if you want your relationship to work. Be open with him about your issues. Don't go crazy over something that isn't happening.

Simply pretending the issues aren't there won't keep you from acting out forever. I am glad to hear you are in therapy. Address the situation in this thread directly with a therapist. Your therapist knows you and your relationship better than strangers online and can help you check the facts. I agree with the others, though. As it stands, you sound like you're paranoid, and it will likely cause serious damage to your relationship if you continue down your current path of thinking.

Remember, controlling a partner is the first step toward abusing them. It isn't your place to manage who he chooses to talk to or be friends with.

Some characters aren't going to work well with you. You are not obligated to make excuses for his social behaviour if you both aren't compatible. You just need to be more realistic with yourself and what type of partner makes you happy. Work on your confidence levels because they seem to be very low. I'm curious why you feel the need to play it cool with someone you should be comfortable opening up to. This is not always rooted in issues related to you. If you're hanging around the wrong type of people, you aren't going to feel comfortable, period. If he speaks to her often, you might want to ask yourself why and what he's getting out of interacting with her. You may just not be cutting it for him and that's something you should address. Be honest with yourself. Life is too short to keep shouldering all the bs. Live free and be confident in what you need and what makes you happy.

Some characters aren't going to work well with you. You are not obligated to make excuses for his social behaviour if you both aren't compatible. You just need to be more realistic with yourself and what type of partner makes you happy. Work on your confidence levels because they seem to be very low. I'm curious why you feel the need to play it cool with someone you should be comfortable opening up to. This is not always rooted in issues related to you. If you're hanging around the wrong type of people, you aren't going to feel comfortable, period. If he speaks to her often, you might want to ask yourself why and what he's getting out of interacting with her. You may just not be cutting it for him and that's something you should address. Be honest with yourself. Life is too short to keep shouldering all the bs. Live free and be confident in what you need and what makes you happy.

I understand your point. I am used to supress my emotions not only with him, it is something rooted in my family problems. I feel comfortable withe him he appreciates me and helps me a lot when I need him , thats why it is a difficult situation. I don´t know at what extent it is my mind playing games with me or my gut feeling being right.

I understand your point. I am used to supress my emotions not only with him, it is something rooted in my family problems. I feel comfortable withe him he appreciates me and helps me a lot when I need him , thats why it is a difficult situation. I don´t know at what extent it is my mind playing games with me or my gut feeling being right.

Then take a time out and don't be afraid to sort yourself out. You are not obligated to keep moving, responding or instantly forming opinions at once. You deserve time to think. Think carefully and give yourself room. It's better to move in the right direction the first time than going back on your decisions.

Then take a time out and don't be afraid to sort yourself out. You are not obligated to keep moving, responding or instantly forming opinions at once. You deserve time to think. Think carefully and give yourself room. It's better to move in the right direction the first time than going back on your decisions.

yes I think so thanks!

I understand your point. I am used to supress my emotions not only with him, it is something rooted in my family problems. I feel comfortable withe him he appreciates me and helps me a lot when I need him , thats why it is a difficult situation. I don´t know at what extent it is my mind playing games with me or my gut feeling being right.

Don't supress your emotions. It'll bottle up to the point where you will explode at the slightest thing.

yes I am working on this

It's probably nothing because he's willing to let you meet her.

If you see anything concrete then you may need to bring it up with your boyfriend in a non confrontational way. But so far it looks like nothing to worry about.

You have a very dishonest RL imo. Doesn't bode well for long term.

There is nothing "needy" or overly suspicious about walking over and introducing yourself. I would and have when I see my bf talking with someone I don't know and never met.

Sometimes he waves me over and will introduce me too, whether he's talking to a man or woman, and i've done the same as well.

Later I might ask who she/he is.

I recall one time when he was speaking with a beautiful woman I didn't know, I asked later who she was and in a teasing way he asked "why you jealous?" Wink wink. Teasing.

I responded (in a playful way) "yeah a little actually, she's really beautiful!" Wink wink

He thought it was cute!! Lol. We had a good chuckle and he reassured me, and we went on to have a great night together!!

Sometimes he gets a little jealous too!

JMO but a little jealousy can be a good thing, let's us both know how special we are to each other and keeps things alive.

As long as it's expressed in good fun and neither of you are behaving overly needy, insecure and psycho about it, I find a bit of jealousy can enhance your RL.

Why are you afraid of being honest and genuine with your bf? Walking on eggshells?

You're not alone many people are in their relationships, both men and women and I am at a loss to understand why?

Perhaps you can clarify your thought process about that?

What's the point of being in a RL if you can't be honest and genuine?