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Thread: Wife may have cheated 9 months ago.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You have nothing but hate, contempt and disparaging remarks about her. Were you forced to marry her? Get divorced or get it annulled or however it works in your country/culture.
    Originally Posted by Eyaru
    for 3 weeks she had pretty much left me for a literal crack head
    she called me she got beat up by her druggy alcoholic mom
    As far as what makes me think she cheated on me again is just the timing

  2. #12
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    Sherrysher, Thank you for your reply. It is much appreciated. It's good to see someone point out everything in a loving manor. Also you pretty pointed out everything I have felt for a long time. I'm very sad to have come to that same conclusion but it's true.. She does not love me the way so love her. At least not the same fullness of love.

  3. #13
    You don't trust her so there is no future with her. Keep your name off the birth certificate until the test is done. This is not a woman you want to be mixed up with, especially if she has been sleeping with druggies in the past. Steer clear of her and don't let her back in.

  4. #14
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Aren't you jumping the gun a little here? You don't even KNOW if the child is not your's. You're simply guessing and assuming. Not all children look like their parents - my siblings and I all look different and none really look a lot like our parents. "May have cheated" does not mean DID cheat. You really need to take a step back and quit attacking her like this.
    Also, how come you haven't signed the birth certificate? As far as I am aware one usually signs soon after birth, or at least within the first two weeks.

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  6. #15
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    Capricorn3 you are right, I'm just really stressed because our kid really does look just like that guy.... But you're right. I even though I haven't said it I am hoping for a positive test. A lot of people are saying bad things about her only because they don't know her. She wasn't always in the wrong crowd, and being homeless for 3 years got her there. Then I came along and it's been like I have been doctoring her heart and bringing her out of a black hole, with great success mind you. Still there is no excuse for her disloyalty towards me but I gave her another chance for a reason, because I saw something others didn't. I am hoping it's my son foreal so I can just love her for who she is and not who she was or where she was before.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If it is your child and you can forgive, then I too agree that your family deserves a fighting chance.

    I am crossing my fingers for you that it's a good outcome.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Eyaru
    To be perfectly honest with you I'll probably leave her. Unless I signed the birth certificate while in the hospital I definitely have not done so yet as we have not gotten it yet. So me paying child support may not be a thing. And yes, she did cheat....
    There's you answer. I'd line up an attorney along with the paternity test and get legal advice about your options and the right steps for each option.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry for all you're going though.

    I'm with Capricorn, though, as it sounds like you're jumping the gun pretty hard. Babies, when born, tend to look a lot like...well, babies. Had she not cheated on you once, had she not shown herself to be deeply unstable, it's hard for me to imagine that you'd be as a suspicious as you are based on a high school pal coming round here and there while you, I'm assuming, were really around: being her husband, having sex with her, spending time together, and so on.

    Your anger toward her is palpable, and understandable. Sounds like you never fully forgave her, and instead of really working through that hard chapter you tried to annihilate it by doubling down on the relationship: getting married, having a kid. That happens. And while her behavior is awful, you have to hold yourself accountable for that part. You did not leave her. You married her and (possibly) had a child with her.

    So, what to do now?

    Well, start with the paternity test. If it's not your child—well, there you have it. Lawyer, divorce, and so on. But seems to me there is a pretty high chance the baby is yours, in which case you have to see if your relationship can be salvaged. That's therapy, individual and couples. Whether you stay together or not, if this is your child you want to be able to raise it in a loving manner, not resent it as a reminder of some awful chapter in your life.

  10. #19
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    She should have put done the name of the father when the Brady was born. You don’t sign it, she does.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member superfan's Avatar
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    The person I feel bad for in this scenario is the innocent baby that you are already considering abandoning because you think he might not share your DNA.

    My husband fell in love with our daughter the second he saw her. If he found out tomorrow she wasn't his by blood it might end the relationship with me, but there is no way he would walk out on her.

    How you can talk to coldly about leaving this innocent baby speaks volumes about the selfishness you and your partner have towards one another.

    Babies don't always look like their dad. My daughter is my twin and looks nothing like my husband. That doesn't stop him from loving her.

    You seem to be withholding loving this baby pending the results of this DNA test. In my opinion, if you doubt your partner enough to even consider a paternity test, you have your answer regarding this relationship.

    As for the baby, I would decide right now if you are willing to be a decent parent or not - paternity test or not.

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