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Thread: Should I stay in this relationship?

  1. #1

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    Should I stay in this relationship?

    My wife takes my kids and leaves to her parents house for days without consent over a verbal argument. The argument was started over and issue of my speaking to a female co worker on the phone who is about 20 years older than me that I have no interest in same co worker offered to buy me coffee. I work I a security booth by myself I have never cheated on my wife I just continue to be accused of cheating I do not go out I go to work and back home the ame time everyday I dont party or hang out with friends. I talk to other co workers on the phone but she has a problem because this person is female i blocked the person's number and deleted her from my phone as she requested and my wife still has an issue. What am I doing wrong if anything my wife goes to work and has Male co workers who have bought her food before and I don't act this way is it me or this relationship over?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Well, your situation does sound quite hapless and you do sound like a victim. But I'm wondering about your language. You said "my kids" not "our kids". Are those kids yours or from this marriage with this wife? If the kids are both of yours, your language suggests you may not feel that she has a right to doing what she has to do, unable to see her point of view or acknowledge that she should be able to make decisions on behalf of both your kids (not enough respect for each other in general).

    Do you have any issues with your wife regarding co-parenting or other issues in your marriage besides trust? Have you had female coworkers in the past (not this one) hit on you and any lack of boundaries?

  3. #3
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    You have children. Are you serious about ending a relationship over something so silly as this?

    It sounds like you and your wife have serious communication problems. You need to sit down and talk to each other about things that bother you so that small matters don't blow up into big ones.

    Why did this co-worker call you? I think having someone call you is different from colleagues bringing lunch from a take-out.

  4. #4

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    This co worker calls while I'm at work that's how all coworkers talk because we work at different locations by our selves they never call me on mo work hours or days off

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  6. #5

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    There our kids together but she overreacts to any situation and accuses me of cheating just because I may shave of spray perfume on a certain day this is not something new and i have never cheated or had female co workers before

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Well.....too often when someone accuses you of cheating constantly, it's because they are the ones cheating. Maybe it's time for you to take a better look at what your wife is actually up to. It's an old and well worn tactic of cheaters to constantly keep their SO on the defensive, so you have no time to look at what they are doing behind your back. Besides, accusations like that, not to mention just taking the kids and leaving is abusive behavior, not just to you, but also to your children.

    You need to have a serious conversation with her about her behavior, the fact that these accusations are going to destroy the marriage and start putting your foot down that this isn't going to fly with you anymore. Trying to appease her actually does the opposite of what you want - it feeds the fire by giving her easy control over you and continuing this abusive behavior toward you. Yes, it's abusive.

  8. #7
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Either she's really insecure and has low self esteem or she's projecting guilt. Do your own snooping and see what's up.

  9. #8

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    She pretty much deletes her text and phone calls yet mine are all there to see I have nothing to hide so that could be a possibility

  10. #9
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    Why don't you have friends or do anything outside the home? That is not healthy.

  11. #10

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    Because she caused me to end my friendships and not go out or have a social life I have no social media while she has fb and talks to other people I go to work come home and that's it

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