What should I do? Should I carry on?

Basically I’ve been in love with my friend for a while (let’s call him j) but he’s been in love with his other friend (let’s calm her t) for a couple of years now (before I even met j). Well anyway me and j ended up making out in a club about three times in one week. I thought there was a chance he was over t but he wasn’t. He asked t out but she rejected him. Now me and him have somehow slipped into friends with benefits and I feel a bit stuck. Like part of me is like I’m just a rebound and he’ll never love me but the other part of me is like I can’t have sex with strangers, as I feel too uncomfortable, so at least I’m getting some action and also I just find him so irresistible because I’m so in love with him. Also he liked me enough to risk asking t out, which he hasn’t had the guts to do before, because he said he realised he’s missing out on other opportunities (like me?). I just don’t know what to do. I’m no ones second best but I’m also already in love and already hurt. At least this way I’m getting a little fun out of it. Is there anyway I can make it into more? Will continuing make it worse or will I be the same amount of hurt either way? Btw as far as he knows I don’t have feelings for him so he’s not blackmailing me or anything.

"Also he liked me enough to risk asking t out"

If he liked you enough he wouldn't be sleeping with you and asking her out at the same time. He still wants her. I rarely see fwb turning into relationship, specially when one part has non reciprocated feelings for the other and the other wants someone else. I'd stay away from him if you don't want to get hurt.

Going to agree with Annia on this one. You shouldn't have made yourself sexually available before you knew if he had any feelings for you or not and if he would be interested in an actual relationship. It's possible that he does like you, but it sounds like his attraction/love to your other friend will likely get in the way of you two becoming anything serious.

You've come up with multiple reasons to justify continuing to have sex with him without pursuing a commitment of some kind, which sort of lets this guy off the hook. I understand being afraid to have a conversation with him, but you should either end the FWB arrangement or see if he could ever be genuinely involved with you (and then end it if the answer is "no").

At the end of the day, the choice is yours, but by having sex with someone you love that doesn't want more, you make yourself emotionally unavailable to anyone who may actually be willing to offer the full package. It's foolish to go all in with someone who is happy to use you while they work on getting over someone else.

The sooner you cut your losses the better. You gambled that he would like you and it didn't pan out. let go and next time don't wait in the wings for anyone or hope hookups turn into relationships.

Start out knowing a guy likes you specifically and asks you out on real dates. Respect yourself and what you want/need and don't just buzz around randomly hoping someone will eventually like you.

Will continuing make it worse or will I be the same amount of hurt either way?

Also he liked me enough to risk asking t out, which he hasn’t had the guts to do before, because he said he realised he’s missing out on other opportunities (like me?).

I don't understand this. I keep reading it and it won't make any sense.

I’m no ones second best but I’m also already in love and already hurt. At least this way I’m getting a little fun out of it.

This is a mistake because you have emotions tangled up in this guy. You're going to be more hurt because you'll continue to have sex with him and he'll continue to see you as a FWB. You chose to accept the sex without a relationship, so from your vantage point, you either accept that FWB is all you will be to him, or you stop seeing him altogether.

I agree with everyone else..

If you tell him how you feel about him and he doesn't reciprocate, then your heart will be broken and your friendship as well.

End this with your head high. You deserve someone who gives you what you need.

Find someone else who isn't in love with another, you will be better off in the end... believe me

What's so fun about feeling hurt? Look at your words for a second.

Stop associating with him. Stop having having sex with him, stop replying to his texts and slowly move forward without this person. If he's not treating you the way you ought to be treated and he has nothing to do with other areas of your life(you don't depend on him for anything) or you don't have to live with him or even be civil, get rid of him. This person doesn't belong in your life.