I should be so greatful..but I'm not

I'm away in a different country , just me and my gf... on paper, I should be loving life... I've actally had a great life so far... but yet I feel so lost and lonely all the time..

I feel bad all the time when I feel like this because, 1) it's not only unproductive but 2) there would be people who would love to be in the position I'm in...

as stated , lonliness is a big thing...I've been here now for nearl 5 years and still don't feel like I fit in.... but it isn't a new thing... I've always felt sorta lonely.. I guess I got used to temporary lonliness, but being able to have meaningful interactons 2 or 3 times a month... but even that is gone (what I'm getting at is, I dont think a simple "just move home" will work, I'm just moving the problem elsewhere...

any suggestions?

I;ve tried clubs and work etc... but I just feel like I don't fit in

What are you interested? Why not join groups that you like. Do you enjoy outdoor activities or sports? How about volunteering or Meetups.

i am interested in a lot, the thing i was most interested in has been unavailable to me for 2 or 3 months now due to traffic after work .... I know it's a horrible thing to say, but the more I put myself out, I find I don't like the locals, which makes it even more isolating.... I find it so hard to grasp that people who are so similar, are so different

There must be more than one thing you are interested in? I made a lot of suggestions.

Maybe this is why:

I still think of my ex most days... and I don't want to.

 

It's not a case of longer to be back with her, I've moved on, she's moved on. But I still think of her nearly every day.

 

I have no contact with her at all, except she follows me on insta, I don't follow her back.

 

why is it that she still comes in, nearly every day. Some things are good, some things are bad, there isn't any longing there.

 

If anything, there is a part of me that doesn't want her to be happy. Which I don't like either. I don't want to be back with her, but I don't want to be that ex who wishes ill of her...

 

I just want my day to day back, without having to think of her.

Have you sought therapy? Has it been over 7 years since the split?