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I fear I’m going to get dumped today


Sourmilk

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A follow up to my post from a few days ago, we have been talking everyday, she’s been busy at work so not as much as we ar broth accustomed to, but we’re both good with that. We speak on the phone, but the level of passion in us has dropped. Not because I don’t feel it (I can’t speak for her) but because the conversation just doesn’t lend itself to say how much I miss them. That sentiment comes from both sides usually.

 

I went over a friend’s house on Friday night. Just for food, beers and football. We had too much to drink and I stayed the night. I left my dog at home. Not lightly, I researched the pros and cons, and spoke to my landlord, who is also my neighbour and a vet. The consensus from both is that it’s ok based on a few points (these don’t need to be broken down, but I was confident my guy could go 12 hours without me, and he was. He smashed it)

 

This was raised in conversation nonchalantly yesterday morning. She didn’t like it, promptly ended the discussion and I didn’t hear from her all day. This in Itself is out of the ordinary for us. Maybe 8 hours after the call, I just asked her what’s wrong? Her response is that me leaving my dog at home shows her a side of me she doesn’t like. She didn’t know I consulted a vet, or read for half an hour about it. She just reacted based on her or her friends never doing what I did.

 

We spoke on the phone last night and I thought it was smoothed over. It wasn’t. She is still pissed at me. She sent me a message this morning saying she will call after her studies and signed of with a ‘love you 😘 ‘ text

 

I am dreading this feeling

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Being this anxious isn't healthy.

 

Obviously, being afraid of being left is indicative of some deep issues that maybe have been exasperated by this relationship.

 

All I can say is sorry, I dont know anyway to fix your emotions.

 

Its quite hard to fix an emotional deficiency while in the middle of a triggering event. It would be like a recovering alcoholic having to sleep every night in a liquor store.

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I appreciate your sentiment. It’s not so much the relationship ending that is increasing anxiety. It’s this one. We work so well togetehr, and have had a crappy few days. I’m a little shocked this is the potential path we are heading down. Especially when there are so so many positives in what we currently have

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I sincerely doubt you actually spoke to a vet. If you did so before you got drunk, shame on you for not getting better arrangements. And if you did after you drank?... yeah, I don’t buy it.

 

If someone was taking care of my dog and did that, I’d be done with them too.

 

My next door neighbour is a veterinarian. I was out of the house 12 hours. When I go to work during the day, I’m away for 10. My dog does not have separation anxiety and he is in good health.

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I would never leave a dog alone overnight. You need to become a more responsible pet parent. Plus, the poor thing sounds likes it's always alone. Why even own a pet if you are not around to care for it.

 

You’re making a lot of assumptions about my ability as a pet owner. He gets everything he needs from me. These details were omitted from my post because they were superfluous to my immediate issue.

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You left the dog overnight, and it does not sound like you invest much time in the animal.

 

Luckily I’m closer to the reality of this situation and not only reacting to what things ‘sound like’. I know some dogs can’t be left alone for periods like that. Every situation is different. I made an informed decision and am lucky enough to have a pet that allows me to do so.

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...

 

Uh, it’s why his girlfriend is mad at him?

 

So it is literally the entire issue?

 

The issue itself is after a ty week for us, this has added fuel to an already burning dumpster fire. I’m completely secure in my decision to go out knowing my pet was attended to and capable of going the night without me.

 

The issue is I don’t think the barrage of complications for us over the last few days is reason enough to end the relationship.

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People here have no business judging your decisions about how you care for your dog.

 

I believe you are very insecure about this relationship based on your previous post... so yes, you gf doesnt approve of you leaving your pet alone overnight. But she is only your gf and people can disagree on important things and still be compatible in others.

 

You believe you're getting dumped over this ,when you know there are other issues at hand.

 

You are just trying to over analyze everything she tells you now and making yourself more anxious in the process.

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"People here have no business judging your decisions about how you care for your dog."

We absolutely can!

 

The issue is he thinks he's getting dumped... Yes, the gf doesnt approve of that... my point was there are other issues in this relationship based on OPs other post.

 

I am a dog owner/mom. My dog can be left alone overnight no problem if need be. Other dogs cant. Only Op knows his dog well enough... not you

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I agree with FIO too

 

Thanks for the support on this. My initial query has far been overlooked for the treatment of my dog. I can be understanding of the critique after my first post, but even after providing some clarification I’m still the antagonist. The medium of the initial post is the exact same as the other posts where I have cleared some points up. It looks like people are willing to pick and choose any information which creates their desired narrative

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The issue itself is after a ty week for us, this has added fuel to an already burning dumpster fire. I’m completely secure in my decision to go out knowing my pet was attended to and capable of going the night without me.

 

The issue is I don’t think the barrage of complications for us over the last few days is reason enough to end the relationship.

 

Ok, if you insist that you’re providing all the relevant details (per your most recent post)...

 

Then what are they?

 

Because all I see is still the dog detail.

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The issue is he thinks he's getting dumped... Yes, the gf doesnt approve of that... my point was there are other issues in this relationship based on OPs other post.

 

I am a dog owner/mom. My dog can be left alone overnight no problem if need be. Other dogs cant. Only Op knows his dog well enough... not you

 

I do not agree with you. At all! Don't know why some folks get dogs.

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Thanks for the support on this. My initial query has far been overlooked for the treatment of my dog. I can be understanding of the critique after my first post, but even after providing some clarification I’m still the antagonist. The medium of the initial post is the exact same as the other posts where I have cleared some points up. It looks like people are willing to pick and choose any information which creates their desired narrative

 

Why are you so insecure about your relationship?

 

Do you feel more invested than she is?

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Why are you so insecure about your relationship?i

 

Do you feel more invested than she is?

 

At the moment I am. Which I’m ok with usually. She is working a demanding schedule and studying for a very important exam in 2 months. On top of that, her and her mum are working at becoming citizens here so there is the added obstacle of the stress and obligation of a court process. I subscribe to the fact that investment doesn’t always need to be 50/50 and want to be as supportive as I can. The other side of that coin, every now and then, as I displayed a few days ago, I get a little resentful that I’m giving so much and not able to receive in kind. I’m not proud of this, but sometimes i would like some of the focus back to me. I acknowledge how selfish that sounds, I’m giving everything I can as well as I can for now. I’m just not perfect all the time.

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Why would she dump you for leaving your dog home for a night out with a friend? Why would she be so upset about it to the point of even breaking up with you and especially by phone? If it was right to leave the pet home alone one night or not I can't say, but I don't think this would warrant a break up.

 

Are you sure this isn't your anxiety and insecurity creating this situation and not the cold hard facts of the situation?

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Why would she dump you for leaving your dog home for a night out with a friend? Why would she be so upset about it to the point of even breaking up with you and especially by phone? If it was right to leave the pet home alone one night or not I can't say, but I don't think this would warrant a break up.

 

Are you sure this isn't your anxiety and insecurity creating this situation and not the cold hard facts of the situation?

 

It’s not just the dog thing. She said to me last night me deciding to leave my dog at home, and the fact we had a tiff earlier in the week ‘I’ve shown her a side me me she didn’t know I had’ it was an ominous statement.

 

We’ve spoken today, on better terms now, but she’s still a bit cold. I’m seeing her tomorrow. I’ll try to figure out what’s going on. It’s defin the hardest week of our relationship so far

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