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Thread: Advice for aftermath of first date last night? Went ok but not sure next move...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, classic friendzoning. Do not waste time on this and start fresh with new women/dates.
    Originally Posted by richdeniro
    Ugh she's messaged me a few times this evening asking how my days been and that type of thing. I haven't replied as she's clearly not interested but it's so confusing given her texts after the date last night.

  2. #12
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    She was completely upfront with you that she is only interested in being friends and you responded that you understood. This implies that you accept being friends which is how she will take it. Clearly you want more, though.

    So this will be a train wreck when it becomes clear to her that you are still trying for more or she starts telling you about a guy she really is interested in. Are you going to hang around and chat like one of the girls about her dating interests? Doubtful. While friendships are great, they are not great when it's based on a lie or wishful thinking. Save yourself a lot of misdirected energy and inevitable disappointment by taking one of the dudes to the game with you. Then keep searching for a woman interested in dating you.

  3. #13
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    I've only come across this once back in college and I couldn't really blow her off after I got "friend zoned" as we had almost all of our classes together. Turned out she had recently been dumped by her ex and it was all she cared about and talked about when we'd hang out as "friends" after I gave up. Her mind was elsewhere and this one could be too but if not, always remember if you treat them like friends - shocker - they'll be your friend and the romance part is gone.

  4. #14
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    I think she clearly stated that thereís no sexual spark between you two. Donít message back, let it take itsí course.

    This whole Iíve got other things going on this weekÖ I donít want you hanging around after work thing, is to kindly avoid you, I think.

    Seek for someone else.

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  6. #15
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    Well I went to the game with her anyway on Saturday, had no expectation. She seemed really excited by it in the week and she went to the club shop on the Friday to buy herself the teams shirt and called me a few times on Saturday morning before we were due to meet to tell me how excited she was.

    The day itself was such good fun, she didn't stop smiling the entire time and seemed to really enjoy herself. We parted at 7pm as she had to go to dinner with her friends and I had to go to a friends engagement drinks. She then messaged me at 10pm asking if I was still out and wanted to join her and her friends as they were still out in a bar so I got a cab back to her and we stayed out drinking until 2am.

    Since then she's been pretty quiet and I sent her a quick text yesterday evening asking if she'd had a good day as I know she went to the cinema and for a meal with her mum and sister. She replied saying she the film was good and then I wrote one back asking what the restaurant was like. She didn't reply to that and I haven't sent anything since.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Not quite sure what you're asking.

    She had fun with you, you had fun with her. Great! She's been straight with you about her feelings, and it doesn't sound like anything sparkly occurred to shift that, so now it's up to you to decide if you're cool with being pals or if you're not.

    And, honestly, sounds like you're not if you're feeling stymied by a lack of description of a restaurant. Maybe chill with trying to take the temperature over texts? Stay out in the world, line up other dates, reach out to her if you feel like hanging again, see if she reaches out to you. What will be will be. Right now you're playing a chess game with her while she's just living life.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Right now you're playing a chess game with her while she's just living life.
    There's no winning a game like that.

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