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Girl i was seeing goes travelling


Izac1789

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So i was seeing a girl for 6 weeks recently and it went perfectly. We both got on so well and it was amazing, but ahe had already booked a trip to go travelling for 6 months. We agreed to just forget about it and carry on as normal before she left. When she left we agreed it is best to stay single, but hopefully keep in contact. Anyway, since being away, we would message every day and it was all very loving and going well. However, i found out she slept with another guy and after that i found it hard to keep messaging every single day so loving if she is then going to sleep with other guys at the same time. I told her this and suggested we cool things off and just catch up less frequently but keep in contact and then see how things go when she gets home. She then said she thinks it would then get complicated between us and that she thinks it is best to leave things conpletely and see what happens when she gets home. I am now wondering if i have made the right decision, and am fearful of us just drifting apart and losing each other.. any advice appreciated please...

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So, since she had sex with another man so soon after she left, sounds like she may have been interacting with him on line for awhile, even while in a relationship with you.

 

The trip to see him has been in the works for awhile, if he's very long distance, in a different country, this makes sense.

 

Highly doubtful she went on her travels and just happened to meet another guy and had sex with him.

 

Don't allow yourself to be played OP, wish her well and move the hell on.

 

Let her and this other guy have at it, you're done or should be, don't be a chump.

 

Sorry.

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I am now wondering if i have made the right decision, and am fearful of us just drifting apart and losing each other.. any advice appreciated please...

 

The way I see it is she already made that decision for you, demonstrated by her actions. I'm sure in due time, you'll realize that you dodged a bullet.

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She is not as into you as you are into her.

 

While it sounds like you hoped you two could more or less wait for each other, she doesn't see it this way. She is enjoying the single life and does not want to feel guilty for the choices she makes while traveling. I don't think she intended to hurt you, but she doesn't feel the same level of investment as you do.

 

She was already drifting from you; you just didn't realize that until you learned she's had sex with another guy. You subsequently suggesting you contact each other less frequently was rather beside the point. It didn't change the fact that you two were on different pages about each other.

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Highly doubtful she went on her travels and just happened to meet another guy and had sex with him

 

To play devil's advocate for a moment, if she happens to be staying in hostels with other young travelers whooping it up, quick hook-ups are very easy to come by. Some hostels I stayed at in my 20's when I was backpacking were essentially party central and it took little time for drunken one-nighters to start happening.

 

However, it is also plausible that she somehow knew this man before traveling too. That theory makes sense as well.

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I found out because her friend posted a instagram story of them in a hotel room. So i asked why they have upgraded from a hostel to hotel already and she said they hadnt, so then i said i seen a picture of you in a hotel so then she had no choice but to tell me. She 100% didnt know this guy before she just met him in a hostel or night out i know this.

 

She kept texting me saying she loved me etc every day since but i chose to not keep contacting every day because it wasnt fair for me if she is then sleeping with other guys and im sure she would sleep with more in future when travelling..

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Also she would text me saying she loved me and that she wants us to be together when she gets home, but doesnt want that commitment when she is away travelling. Thats fair enough and her choice but i could not continue to message her every day like in a relationship if she was then possibly hooking up with other guys

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To play devil's advocate for a moment, if she happens to be staying in hostels with other young travelers whooping it up, quick hook-ups are very easy to come by. Some hostels I stayed at in my 20's when I was backpacking were essentially party central and it took little time for drunken one-nighters to start happening.

 

However, it is also plausible that she somehow knew this man before traveling too. That theory makes sense as well.

 

Hi, I have also travelled a lot and understand how easy it is and at the end of the day she left single. It seems you understand the situation, What do you suggest i now do?

 

Thanks

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