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Thread: Messed up bad on spring break

  1. #1
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    Messed up bad on spring break

    My bf (22m) and I (21F) went on separate senior year college spring break trips. I was pretty upset over it, but he convinced me that it would be okay and we would keep in touch. We have been dating for about a year and long distance bc of school. The first day of my trip, I was really upset that I was receiving dry, drunky texts all day. It had me upset as he was so adamant about staying in active communication during the trip. In the early night, he texted me that his phone was dying. I'm not a huge party goer, but that night I drank a lot and blacked out for the first time. I texted him harsh things about being ignored all day and how I knew it was gunna happen and that I deserve better and ..."I'm walking out of your life". The next morning, he said he couldn't look at me the same and needs time. I said now that we're both sober, can we have a talk about it I've said things that I didn't think twice about... and he ignored that and has been ignoring me since. I haven't reached out to him. I have acknowledged that I completely recognize my mistakes in the way I approached him about what was bothering me. And clearly, I can't handle alcohol well. I ended my trip early and came home. He still ignoring me, but deleted our pics on social media (but didnt unfollow...) which is pretty clear that he made up his mind. But then again, he is still on the trip and is boozing day and night. His mom has reached out to me so many times because she hasn't heard from him since he left. Any advice or thoughts? I've accepted that my actions are probably irreversible and will learn from them. But something in me still wants to have a conversation with him instead of ghosting his way out of a meaningful relationship.

  2. #2
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    There really is nothing more you can do at this point.

    You have tried to make amends, but if he's not interested, it's on him. I imagine you won't hear from him while he's still gone but you might when he gets back. Either way, he didn't "ghost" you - you pretty clearly told him you were done. I realize it was a reaction out of anger, but it was indeed you who pulled the plug on the relationship.

    May I ask, why were you upset that you two were going on spring break separately? And why put so much importance on a few dry texts when you know he's partying and drinking? It's spring break, girl. He was still in touch, even if it wasn't the usual communication you're used to. I'd have first tried to cut him a little slack and get busy having fun myself. End my trip early over it? Oh, hell no! I am wondering if there have been other problems between you two leading up to this, given your knee-jerk reaction?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    The first day of my trip, I was really upset that I was receiving dry, drunky texts all day. It had me upset as he was so adamant about staying in active communication during the trip.
    Heís upholding his promise to you. Whatís the problem? What were you seriously expecting from someone who is out partying with friends during Spring Break?

    I'm not a huge party goer
    This is telling that you both are not compatible, because it sounds like he is.

    I texted him harsh things about being ignored all day and how I knew it was gunna happen and that I deserve better and ..."I'm walking out of your life".
    You are being controlling here.

    In a given scenario, letís say you went on a PLANNED week long vacation with your girlfriends and the boyfriend couldnít come. Though you promised him that you would drop messages, the reality was you got caught up having fun with your friends throughout the entire day and at one point were intoxicated. Then the next day your boyfriend throws a temper tantrum because you couldnít follow up during a busy day or two, decides to end his relationship with you WHILE YOU ARE STILL OUT ON YOUR TRIP WITH YOUR FRIENDS. How pissed off would you be? And if your friends got whiff of the news, how much would they want to support their friendís relationship?

    His mom has reached out to me so many times because she hasn't heard from him since he left.
    Why would she contact you if you arenít with him? Why isnít she contacting one of his friends?

    Any advice or thoughts?
    If he says he needs time, you need to respect that request. Leave it be and move on. The ball is in his court in deciding if he wants to stay with you or not.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    You may want to watch this video because it sounds like a similar situation.

    https://youtu.be/GYJT5aCfJrw

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  6. #5
    Wow, it sounds like you have some serious insecurity issues. He didn't do anything wrong and upheld his promises to you yet you treated him like crap. It sounds like he's done with you and rightly so. That was pretty appalling behavior towards him.

  7. #6
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    Heís just upset and is distracted because heís on a trip. Once he gets back, talk it out. I think yíall can get past it. Just donít do it again unless itís really necessary. Good luck!


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