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Thread: Should I feel guilty?

  1. #1
    Member
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    Sep 2013
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    Should I feel guilty?

    Hello all. So, I just recently started a new job a few weeks ago and now I secretly miss a few things about my old job like mainly having off days and time to "recharge." This was a part time job and although it did not provide me with benefits, but did pay two dollars more, the benefit to me was having a work life balance. Now, I struggle with new job, which is full-time. I have to struggle to get up in the mornings and usually feel fatigued and sluggish when I get off. It often seems like my days run together.
    Another thing is that I have never really had a full-time job, except one I had years ago in which I ended up quitting and returning to school. Also, naturally I am more of an introvert so I miss having fewer co-workers and having the option to attend staff meetings if I wanted to or not on last job since it was part-time, whereas now I have 11 co-workers. I am not used to being around others all day long on a daily basis and have always been a night owl. Now it seems like I have only weekends to get things done, which as we all know seems to fly by quickly. I miss being able to go to the park and various places to enjoy myself especially on Fridays or, just simply getting up on my own timing. I know jobs with a work life balance are hard to come by, so the reason I took my old job at the time was mainly because of this and because I had a hard time finding a job as a new grad, and although it was not really my future career goal, it was in my field of study. I can say that my new job is slightly more aligned with my goals as it it more along the lines of what I want to do, just not really in my specialty. It also has the professionals I need to be around for possible future recommendations, in addition to offering benefits of a full time job.
    Also, I feel unnatural sometimes having to force myself to make small talk with my co-workers all day, as I do not want to appear rude or labeled as "shy" or a "weirdo."
    Another thing is that one of my co-workers is really super talkative, even someone else stated this, so I just worry that I will not be able to focus around her when I do my work. She is helpful at times, but sometimes it becomes annoying when she stops in the middle of helping me with a task to involve herself in others' conversations when they are not even talking to her. She also interrupts in conversations and shifts the attention back to herself if someone says something to me or others. She seems to have trouble tuning out distractions and always interjects herself in others' convos and telling stories of how she can relate to everything someone else discusses. And I am not exaggerating that she ALWAYS follow up with a story of how she can relate to something. Even if I can relate to others at times in general, at times I do not even tell them or try to shift the conversation back to me because I like to let others have the opportunity to share their story in their own way and to provide them with a listening ear. It often frustrates me when she does this, but of course I do not let it show. Even if I do feel the need to give my opinion on something or tell my story, it becomes pointless because I know she will always follow up with a remark or story about herself in some kind of way. Do not get me wrong, I was excited to get a new job, as I also had trouble finding a new job and being picked like before in the case in when I started my last job,but I just miss the freedom of being able to leave work when I am done for the day, having off days, and fewer co-workers. I just feel like a "fish out of water" now. One reason I left my other job, besides not being around the staff with the credentials I need to be around for future recommendations, was because I had to work with a coworker who was very competitive with me, so now I kind of feel like I am reliving the experience of an annoying co-worker again. I was so ready to "escape" my last job and my family and friends knew it, so now I am embarrassed with my current feelings about my new job lol. Should I feel guilty for feeling this way and what should I do? Also, what jobs do you all think sound suited for me? I would appreciate any advice. Thanks all.
    Last edited by princess34; 03-22-2019 at 01:25 AM.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member
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    You're allowed to feel however you feel. There's no reason to feel guilty about feeling a certain way. It's not like you can help how you feel in the moment, the only thing you can control is how you respond to it.
    Are you sure that the job you have is a stepping stone to your dream job? Or do you not really like your job as much as you do because you're now realizing that the end goal may not be suited for you? I ask this, because you asked the forum what jobs you think would be suited for you. If you are rethinking your career choices, then that would explain why you only see the negatives about your job - as opposed to seeing the end goal which is your dream job. I dreaded getting out of bed and going to work when I had a job that didn't suit me at all. Now that I have my dream job, the hours don't bother me, and neither does waking up early even though I'm really not a morning person. It sounds to me like the heart of the issue is you're maybe re-evaluating whether your career choice is right for you.. and the other things like annoying co-workers are amplified that much more because of it

  3. #3
    So you want the easy life. Don't we all. Don't mean to sound rude but you come off as rather spoiled and lazy. You want a good career? You've got to put in the hours and backbone and work for it like everyone else. We all have to get up early in the mornings and go do our 9-5 job. 11 colleagues? That's not many at all. I work in a very small company that has 14 employees which is not many at all. Stop complaining and count yourself lucky for what you've got. We've all got that colleague who thinks they are superior and drives everyone crazy. Mine is my manager. You learn to tolerate it over time.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Nickel Speed's Avatar
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    Welcome to adulthood... At least you picked an appropriate username.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    OP, learn to focus and prioritize. Your talkative coworkers should not be your focus when you go to work. If they interfere with your work, speak with your superior or the person/people you report to and be frank if you are unable to actually execute your tasks. If it comes to this I'd suggest you quantify your issues clearly and have specific examples of work you fail to accomplish/tasks that are expected of you because of non-work related interruptions. When I say quantify I am speaking about specific examples and the results that were affected by the non-work interruptions or issues. You should be prepared for comments like the ones above here in this thread and your boss may quiz you on your work set up and your ability to prioritize. You should be able to prove to them that you are doing everything you can to get through your work day and fulfill those expectations related to your position.

    Your boss may be able to give you more tips and suggestions on how to effectively accomplish your tasks and help you prioritize in the right direction. Take your cue from your superior and get to know him/her a bit more and what expectations he/she has of you. Again, your focus is your work at work (not socialization with your coworkers). Socialization and small talk is necessary but peripheral. The point of working is to work and to learn. If you are not working and your focus is not learning, you are doing something wrong.

    If this is not quantifiable and you have no justified reason for reporting this to your superior, the changes may be mostly on your end and learning how to adapt. This is not uncommon and you shouldn't beat yourself up about the learning curve. It's taken most of us years to adapt to different environments and years more learning how to lead teams and be better leaders. It sounds like you have goals. Keep your eyes on your goals and be a bit more results-oriented and focused. Learn to prioritize. You'll realize over time as you grow that very little will be able to phase you in the direction you want to go. You might be open to different ideas and learn from others but your motivation stays intact. Keep growing and do not be afraid.


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