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Thread: I'm not sure if my guy friend likes me or not

  1. #1

    I'm not sure if my guy friend likes me or not

    I have this guy friend who's known me for nearly a year now. We have worked together on many projects and share almost all classes together. I'm not really the kind of person to make friends easily; i come off as cold and closed up. Him, on the other hand, is someone who's a social gel and has a LOT of friends, including lots of female friends. It took him a while, but he finally got to me and i started opening up to him. Turns out, him and I are the same person. He have tonnes of chemistry and he gets me the way no one does, and he says I get him too. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and got out of an abusive and toxic relationship. The guy I'm crushing on is also really good friends with my ex boyfriend, and when i told him that we had broken up, he said he supported it and appreciated that i took that step. He didn't even try to say anything otherwise about me going back, or giving it another shot. He seemed really happy that day about my decision, even though he had NEVER asked me about my relationship before.

    Funny thing is, he's mentioned his crush issues with everyone else, except for me. Recently, him and I have been going out to this place after our classes end, and he insists on going there with me only. Sometimes our other friends tag along, but him and i both talk about it later; how we really wanted them to leave. We share a cup of tea and smoke together, sing along to our favorite songs, and talk about deep meaningful things and share memories and anecdotes. Yes, it's what you would call spending good, quality time with someone. We don't even use our phones, take any pictures, or seem uncomfortable. He stays out even though his curfew is only till 4pm, and he gets at home for it, but he stays with me regardless. He easily picks up when im anxious or sad, or if something's bothering me and asks me about it. Whenever we come home, he texts me again and sends me cat-heart pictures and tells me he had an amazing day.

    I'm not really a huggable person, but he is. He hugs everyone, and lots of our female friends are very touchy with him. Sometimes when we hang out together in a group, he can always sense when im down, or i can sense when he's not feeling it and we give each other a pat on the back and wait for them to leave so we can hang out together. Recently, after everyone had left, he asked me if i wanted a hug. I said, "you know people don't really want to say no to hugs" and we were sitting down when he hugged me. It was very tight, and lasted a very long time. During the hug, he tightened his arms around me and i was the one to let go. Later that day, he told me he was getting me a care basket. I recently lost a pet and he was the one who supported me and made me feel better. Turn's out, he was getting personally stitched stuffed toys and other very personal things for me so i could feel better. I was so overwhelmed, because not even my boyfriend had done anything like that ever for me. Instead, he yelled at me for taking out my anger when my pet died. The guy i like waited for my boyfriend to leave and told me it was okay for me to feel this way, and that my boyfriend was wrong. Anyways, the carebasket made my eyes water, and i gave him a hug again. It was again very tight, and lasted a long time. He rubbed my back too.

    He's given me personal appreciation posts, said I love you to me too, and compliments me on the smallest things. He came to support me at my first open mic and heard me sing for the first time and posted online about how much he loved my performance. He always tells me how amazing and nice i am. Whenever he sees me, he walks towards me and talks to me, even if it's for a few minutes. He sends me music from his secret playlist too. The other day he was feeling down and i sent him cat pictures and said some things to make him feel better, and he said that i handled it so well, and that he told his other friend (his best friend, she's a girl) and he got a lecture from her which is not what he needed. He left to go to another city today to meet his family, and we spent the entire day together, practically. After all our friends had left, we were sitting talking. We always sit next to each other, and whenever he lights a cigarette for me, our fingers always brush. Sometimes our legs would touch, sometimes our arms would. We were sitting a little too close yesterday, and his face was so close to mine, but neither of us moved away. Before leaving, he asked me if he could have a goodbye hug. This time we hugged standing up, and it was the tightest, and warmest hug ever. We hugged for a long time, and we were at that cafe and he didn't care what people thought. He tightened his grip around me and i felt like my back would break. I let go, and we just smiled at each other. That happens often. Sometimes we'd just be sitting in class and he'd look at me, smile, and nod. We finish each other's sentences too.

    The thing that really got me thinking yesterday was when he said to me "I can never get this feeling with any of my other friends. it's only with you" And he took the names of one of THE closest friends he had. He tells me all his personal things and im ishwudhbwknsiaduafhiF

    I think he's like this with everyone, but then he SAYS these things where he mentions that he's so comfortable around me, and that he can do and be whatever he wants around me and that there's no one else that makes him feel this way. Him and i have a mutual understanding on having crushes and being manipulative enough to get over them, which is why i think even if he was attracted to me, he'd get over it. I don't know if it's just him being a very close friend, or him having some feelings for me. I didn't realize i liked him till some of his actions threw me off and got me thinking. Im sorry for such a long rant, but i haven't told anyone about this and im really confused, so if you made it this far, please drop some advice? Thank you.

  2. #2
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    How old are you? Why did your last relationship end?

  3. #3
    I'm 18. My last relationship ended because my ex boyfriend wanted to leave me. He'd raise his voice and occasionally physically hurt me. He would never understand my needs and never give me time either. He had anger issues, and a thing for always being right. He never really got me, and i was naive when i got together with him

  4. #4
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    He won't make a move because you are unapproachable. Sure he says he's comfortable around you, but that's him poking around for a reaction from you. If you walk around with a poker face, nothing is going to happen. You need to learn to be warm, flirty, touchy, strong eye contact, smile, etc. Those things give a guy a green light to make a move.


  6. #5
    I know, and ive been trying to do that a lot recently. He has even pointed that out. But i dont want things to get weird if he's not interested in me

  7. #6
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Sometimes guys just don't pick up on a hint. Shoot straight and ask him out for coffee or the park or somewhere casual outside of school.

  8. #7
    But how would i know that that wouldn't backfire? What if he's weirded out? What if he only thinks of me as a friend and if i start giving away hints he might back off?

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