Super long but what would you all do(Women)?

So this guy and I really like each other and are super close and flirt and stuff but we never really dated. He happened to mention that he wrote letters for everyone to be delivered after his death, whenever that may be. I asked if he had one for me and he said he did. I asked him if i could have it and he obviously said no. After constant pestering for days he finally agreed to give it to me. He said after he gave it to me, that he was going to block me on all social media and not talk to me again and asked if i thought the letter was seriously worth it. I said yeah and he gave it to me. This is word for word what the letter said.

"I still remember the first time I saw you. I remember the first time I spoke to you, and I remember the first time I saw you smile. I used to tell you that we came to your work for the cheep beers but that was a pretty lousy lie. The truth is, after seeing you smile for the first time, I came back time and time again in hopes of seeing it just one more time.Your smile could turn my most horrific day into a fantastic one. It calmed me and excited me at the same time, which sounds stupid, I know.

I do not think it is a secret what I think of you. After seeing you for the first time, I fell in love with you. That first moment I saw you was a momentous day in my life. Not only did I immediately fall for you (I did not believe in love at first sight), but that was when I changed myself as a person. I told you that you helped crack my shell and allowed my true self to come out, but that wasn’t the whole truth. In reality, I changed as a person because I was trying to become the type of man that you deserved. Unfortunately I will never be that man. You deserve the best. You deserve much, much better than me and I accepted that long ago.

Over the last year the love I have for you has grown much deeper, stronger and purer than any love I have experienced before. It isn’t a love that will fade or weaken with time. It is the type of love that most people will not be lucky enough to experience in their lifetime. It is both a gift and a curse, but it is one I will bear happily.

Your happiness and well being is more important to me than anything else in the world, and I would literally do anything for you. After all, you helped me find myself, which is a coincidence because my love for you has swelled so large that I seem to have lost myself within it. People these days throw around “soulmate” so often that for the majority of people, the word has lost its meaning. I’m not one of those people. I truly believe that you’re my soulmate. Unfortunately, I do not think I am lucky enough to be yours.

I honestly believe that God couldn’t create a more perfect person than you. I love everything about you. Your laugh, your smile,your humour, the way your eyes light up when you tell a joke and how feisty you can be. You’re everything that a woman and person should be and more. I honestly don’t know why God continued creating people after he made you. Once you perfect something, everything that comes after it will never be as good. That’s how I see you. Perfect.

Dating before I met you was hard, but now it is practically impossible. No woman I come across is anywhere near as good as you are. I compare every woman I see to you even though I know I will never find one who can shine brighter than you.You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, both on the inside and the outside. Even on your worst day, you’re so much better than other women on their best days. You’re it for me. You’re the one. I’m sure I’ll find love later along in life and settle down, but the love I have for whomever my partner will be will never burn as hot, passionate or bright as my love for you, and even then you will always be on the back of my mind. You’ve asked me a few times before what I think about at night when I can’t sleep. The one thing I think about more than anything, is you. You’re on my mind every day. I think about whether you’re happy, safe, whether you’re eating enough and dozens of other things I do not have the time to list.

I have such high hopes and aspirations for you. I want you to be happy and successful and loved. I just hope you understand that you DO deserve the absolute best. I have no doubt you’ll find someone to treat you exactly how you deserve to be treated. Someone very slow to anger. Someone who will never raise their voice to you. Someone who will not hurl insults at you. Someone who will love every little thing about you. Someone who will realize what an amazing woman you are and will understand that every second they get to spend with you is a treasure and appreciate it. And most importantly, someone who makes you happier than you could possibly imagine. You can have literally any man you want so make sure you take your time in choosing and never settle for less than what you deserve.

You can do anything and I have no doubt you will achieve great things. You’re so full of potential and untapped greatness. I couldn’t even dream of the possibilities that you have waiting before you. You make the lives of everyone you come in contact with better, and im sure you will continue positively effecting people as you progress through life. I hope the rollercoaster of life treats you with an enjoyable, fun and happy ride. You of all people deserve it.

My natural state tends to mimic a hurricane. So much turmoil and hurt and emotions flying around inside of me that sometimes it can become unbearable. I never experienced calm until I met you. Simply being in your presence turns the massive waves of chaos within me into the most tranquil and serene ocean. My fears, worries, anger and everything else simply disappears. It is the only moment I am truly at peace and I will miss it just as I will miss you.

I have never experienced such passion as the passion I have for you, so I thank you for having allowed me to share a part of your life, even if it was a small part. I owe you more than I could ever possibly repay. I sincerely hope you take care of yourself. I apologize for never telling you any of this in person and blocking you on social media afterwards, but you must understand how awkward it is to tell someone who thinks of you as a friend and is in a relationship that you’ve been deeply in love with them for as long as you’ve known them. How am I ever supposed to face you again after a revelation like that? I am grateful though. Keeping all of this inside of me and contained for so long has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It has been literal torture for me. It feels like a massive weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, or my heart to be more specific. I hope I didn’t weird you out with all of this. Like I said, you weren’t supposed to read any of this until I was gone and less than a distant memory. I know not seeing me ever again might hurt you and might not be what you need, but you must understand that since you decided to read this letter, it is what I need. After this I’m honestly not sure I could even look you in the eyes ever again without feeling shame or embarrassment. I never meant to hurt you in anyway. I would never knowingly do that. Your pain is my pain, so hurting you hurts me more than you could possibly imagine. I hope you could one day forgive me for dumping all of this on you. I truly am sorry.

I appreciated having you as a friend and wish you the best of luck in your journey through life. You’re a beautiful rose amongst dandelions. Don’t ever forget that."

This letter literally made me cry. He's the sweetest, kindest man i've ever met. I told him if he had asked me out last year then things could have been different. He told me he had planned a whole big thing to ask me out and came into my work and sat with me to do it. He said he didn't though because i mentioned "a guy i was talking to". He said to a dude that means you're off limits cause you have a boyfriend. I said that because i was trying to make him jealous! I wasn't eve dating my boyfriend at that time! I told him that i was dating him for a few months when i said that (i know i lied) and said if he woulda asked me out i would have broken up with him but he said that he's not that type of guy to ask out a girl who is taken (even though i wasnt). I really want to hang out with him still but he said it's not fair for him, me or the guy i'm with to hang out with me when i know how we both feel about each other. He said he's just going to leave me be and im so upset right now! He's such a cool guy! He is literally the sweetest guy ever,doesn't curse in front of women, opens my car door for me, he gives the best advice and he is always going out of his way to help other people, including me. What do i do? I know the guy im with now is not who i'm meant to be with and he is texting other girls and stuff, but i want to at least say i tried to make the relationship work. I just like this other guy so much. When my dog died he even made a custom bouqet of candy boxes ad candy bars and stuff that took hours to make me feel better! What would you all do? The guy who wrote the letter pretty much is pretty much just going to dissappear on me by cutting off all communication and I found out he's thinking of taking a job with a private military contractor that would move him a thousand miles away!What do i do?

I need more info please

age?

how serious was he when he said he wouldnt want to talk to you again?

If youre in a relationship dead end or not how is he an option?

I need more info please

 

age?

 

how serious was he when he said he wouldnt want to talk to you again?

 

If youre in a relationship dead end or not how is he an option?

We are both in our mid 20's. He was super serious but i assumed he would talk to me again because i know how much he cares for me!

We are both in our mid 20's. He was super serious but i assumed he would talk to me again because i know how much he cares for me!

If he was super serious, I dont see why you would risk not having him in your life just to read some sweet words... youve known how he feels about you, or am I misenterpreting.

Also the big a** elephant in the room still isnt being acknowledged, youre in another relationship, what games are being played right now?

I was gonna let this all come out slowly but Im kinda tired so I'll just say it.

If you truly love him, stop playing games with his emotions. Also not being able to be single and staying in a dead relationship until you can safety monkey branch into a new relationship is all kinda jacked up.

Break up with your boyfriend, youre already emotionally cheating on him.

Stop playing games with this other guy, if you love him tell him

youre the only one standing in your way so cut it out and go be happy.

What in the world possessed you to tell a guy you're interested in that you're talking to or dating another guy? Don't do that. This strategy, thinking they'll pursue you because there's competition and jealousy?? LOL...good luck with that.

Then you go on to say that you've been dating this boyfriend for months..."my boyfriend," but you don't really see any potential with him. So what is he? A filler? Someone to occupy your time and give you a nip and a tickle until you can monkey branch onto the next one? And how long will this fantasy with your new love interest you're eyeballing last once you and he take the plunge? Probably four weeks when the next new guy lights a fire under your toes...and you cheat and monkey branch onto the next one...rinse and repeat.

It's time to break up with your boyfriend. He's not doing it for you, and you are eager to leave him for the next guy tripping your trigger.

Leave your crush alone, don't pursue. Release him to pursue a serious mate.

You need to STOP. You're playing games. Figure out what you want before leaping into the land of serious relationships.

In reality, I changed as a person because I was trying to become the type of man that you deserved. Unfortunately I will never be that man.

When a person tells you something like this about themselves, believe them. He knows who he is. And it sounds like he has inner demons which he only touched on because it's none of your business what goes on his head or what he's battling internally.

Your friendship apparently did well as a 1 dimensional one and he chose not to go further. His words are pretty, but if he really valued you as a friend, he would've refused giving you the letter and continued as your friend. You're letting melodramatic words seduce you, but look at his actions as they are more powerful.

Leave both men (your boyfriend and this crush) alone, please. I second the other posters.

Holy crow, what a load of flattery!

Don't fall for a bunch of pretty words--especially when a statement like this is buried within:

You deserve much, much better than me and I accepted that long ago.

Also, does this not strike you as an absurd, ostentatious ploy:

He happened to mention that he wrote letters for everyone to be delivered after his death, whenever that may be. I asked if he had one for me and he said he did. I asked him if i could have it and he obviously said no. After constant pestering for days he finally agreed to give it to me. He said after he gave it to me, that he was going to block me on all social media and not talk to me again and asked if i thought the letter was seriously worth it. I said yeah and he gave it to me.

Pay attention to his words about anger and turmoil. Don't lose your mind over this letter. Something sinister lurks beneath.

Why are you posting his private business "word for word" all over the internet? Do you have his consent to do this? Or did you make this up? How would you like your personal communication plastered on all sorts of public forums and social media? What you should do? Remove this content from all internet sources you plastered it on.

This is word for word what the letter said.

I 100% agree with Wiseman that you should not post his personal private letter for you on the internet for millions of people to see. That letter was for your eyes only. You have greatly disrespected him by doing this. If someone posted a private letter i wrote i would be devastated. I don't know why you are with the guy who texts other girls, and you definitely don't deserve this guy. You were willing to risk him blocking you from his life forever just to read the letter that you have now plastered all over the internet.

I 100% agree with Wiseman that you should not post his personal private letter for you on the internet for millions of people to see. That letter was for your eyes only. You have greatly disrespected him by doing this. If someone posted a private letter i wrote i would be devastated. I don't know why you are with the guy who texts other girls, and you definitely don't deserve this guy. You were willing to risk him blocking you from his life forever just to read the letter that you have now plastered all over the internet. Are you really that stupid????

And she has a boyfriend which makes it even worse.

Both your boyfriend and this guy deserve better treatment. I'm going to venture a guess that you are attractive, get over yourself.

I skimmed the letter. It was excessively repetitive. If someone cares so much about another person, just act like it. Unless this person has an incurable disease or has a shortened lifespan, writing letters for after death at the age of 20 speaks to me of some critically mental/emotional disrepair.

Well, you always seem to have a boyfriend, so he's right, a sane man would not want to pursue you because your heart is taken. It's a turnoff.

Today's lesson: Only tell a guy you have a boyfriend when you want to get rid of him!

Well, you always seem to have a boyfriend, so he's right, a sane man would not want to pursue you because your heart is taken. It's a turnoff.

 

Today's lesson: Only tell a guy you have a boyfriend when you want to get rid of him!

This is incredibly true!

 

Today's lesson: Only tell a guy you have a boyfriend when you want to get rid of him!

Wait, wha?

So if a woman is enjoying the attentions of another man and doesn't want to lose that (i.e. get rid of him), she shouldn’t mention she has a boyfriend?

Thus misleading him into thinking she's single (and available), again so as to not lose his attention? Even though she's in a relationship?

I’m sorry, I'm not trying to be obtuse or anything but not understanding this mindset, Gary would you clarify or FIO since you agreed with it?

Seems very wrong to not mention it, and misleading, all because you don't want to lose the attention he gives you (i.e. get rid of him).

Which let's be real, many women do enjoy the attention of many men, regardless of whether or not she's in a RL.

In todays' lingo, the men are called "orbiters," but in most cases, at least they know she already has a boyfriend.

Well, you always seem to have a boyfriend, so he's right, a sane man would not want to pursue you because your heart is taken. It's a turnoff.

 

Today's lesson: Only tell a guy you have a boyfriend when you want to get rid of him!

And even then there are men who don't care being with a cheater.

Wait, wha?

 

So if a woman is enjoying the attentions of another man and doesn't want to lose that (i.e. get rid of him), she shouldn’t mention she has a boyfriend?

 

Thus misleading him into thinking she's single (and available), again so as to not lose his attention? Even though she's in a relationship?

 

I’m sorry, I'm not trying to be obtuse or anything but not understanding this mindset, Gary would you clarify or FIO since you agreed with it?

 

Seems very wrong to not mention it, and misleading, all because you don't want to lose the attention he gives you (i.e. get rid of him).

 

Which let's be real, many women do enjoy the attention of many men, regardless of whether or not she's in a RL.

 

In todays' lingo, the men are called "orbiters," but in most cases, at least they know she already has a boyfriend.

I thought he was being ironic but maybe I misunderstood.

I call BS.

It's easy to blah blah blah without any risk. It all strikes me as over the top and dramatic. Seriously?? A letter for you after death?? barf. Let this drama go. Sounds a wee unbalanced to me.

I call BS.

 

It's easy to blah blah blah without any risk. It all strikes me as over the top and dramatic. Seriously?? A letter for you after death?? barf. Let this drama go. Sounds a wee unbalanced to me.

Agree!

This bozo is in love with the idea of "love," not you OP, please. GMAFB.

The letter sounds like a standard boiler plate from some dreamy wannabe poet whose obsessed with romance, letter could be for any woman, he's in love with the idea of her, whoever she is, it's not REAL!

My goodness, all that and you never even dated.

IF a man ever sent that to me, followed by him announcing he can't ever talk to me again, blocking me on social media, I might recommend a good shrink and then toss letter in garbage.

Apologies for being so cynical, but folks are responding like this was some real declaration of his love for OP, it's so far from that, it's laughable.

And I'm a romantic! Lol

But as Sportster said, writing it to send after his death, blah blah -- 100% BS.

Wait, wha?

 

So if a woman is enjoying the attentions of another man and doesn't want to lose that (i.e. get rid of him), she shouldn’t mention she has a boyfriend?

 

Thus misleading him into thinking she's single (and available), again so as to not lose his attention? Even though she's in a relationship?

 

I’m sorry, I'm not trying to be obtuse or anything but not understanding this mindset, Gary would you clarify or FIO since you agreed with it?

 

Seems very wrong to not mention it, and misleading, all because you don't want to lose the attention he gives you (i.e. get rid of him).

 

Which let's be real, many women do enjoy the attention of many men, regardless of whether or not she's in a RL.

 

In todays' lingo, the men are called "orbiters," but in most cases, at least they know she already has a boyfriend.

You’re looking at it as black and white honesty first adult situation.

I’m looking at it as a couple of 15 year olds with crushes and game playing.

As Annia pointed out its tongue and cheek.

There aren’t any boundaries here, it’s like 90210, so what relationship is there to respect?

She’s not looking at this man/boy? as an acquaintance, she’s looking at him as a potential lover.

It’s all school yard game playing.

I actually disagree the kids even dangerous or abusuve. Emo AF? Absolutely, dramatic? Oh yeah but manipulative? They’re about the same level.

Come on he’s writing death notes and she asks to see them. He states only if we never speak again she’s like ok! That kinda drama happens between 3rd period, not between adults with healthy relationships and boundaries.

So in that respect, I feel you are being obtuse because you want to see it a certain way, when nothing in the storyline fits. In other words I’m matching ridiculousness.

Thanks FIO, I was simply responding to Gary's comment "only tell a man you have a boyfriend, when you want to get rid of him."

Based on Gary's responses in general, I did not interpret as tongue n cheek. I believe again based on reading his other posts on other threads, that he was being completely serious. JMO.

But appreciate your take on it and your insight.

Yeah, he may have been. I’m not sure. Guess he will have to field that one.