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Thread: Who controls the money in a relationship?

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Loanieee
    I know my title sounds controlling. I personally think in a long relationship finances should be equal in a shared bank account. However my partner (been together 8 years) is obsessed with money, he thinks Iím not good at saving (I disagree I think i can save but now and then I also like to live and spend money), he wants all the money kept and deposited into one account that I wonít have access too, so he can watch it grow and we can save for a house deposit. I donít feel good about this. It stresses me out. I love him, but I donít love his obsession with money that has always caused underlying stress in our relationship.
    I would never share an account with someone I was not married to. I think that's nuts!

  2. #22
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    OP, you would be insane to turn your money over to this guy.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Think long and hard and reflect on this logically.
    1. If he is so great with money why does he need yours to buy a house/get a mortgage?
    2. What if he dumps you after your money is locked up in this account rather than for this supposed 'future house"?
    3. If a stranger said give me your paycheck and I'll invest it for you but you can't have access to it, would it make sense to you?
    4. Telling you you're too incompetent, stupid or undisciplined to manage your own money is gaslighting you to wear you down so you go along with this scam..
    Originally Posted by Loanieee
    he wants all the money kept and deposited into one account that I wonít have access too, so he can watch it grow and we can save for a house deposit

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Think long and hard and reflect on this logically.
    1. If he is so great with money why does he need yours to buy a house/get a mortgage?
    2. What if he dumps you after your money is locked up in this account rather than for this supposed 'future house"?
    3. If a stranger said give me your paycheck and I'll invest it for you but you can't have access to it, would it make sense to you?
    4. Telling you you're too incompetent, stupid or undisciplined to manage your own money is gaslighting you to wear you down so you go along with this scam..
    Unfortunately I also smell a scam here. I'd run away as fast as I could. This is a glaring red flag and recipe for disaster.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't do this or move to where he is now.
    Originally Posted by Loanieee
    he wants all the money kept and deposited into one account that I wonít have access too

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