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Thread: After death, new dog or not?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    I'm sorry about your loss.

    When you lose a pet, getting busy with life - including a new puppy, is just what the doctor ordered!
    Thank you Gary Snyder. I appreciated your reply very much. Puppies are very cute ~ if you don't mind taking care of a baby!

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    I'm sorry for your loss. A suddenly empty house takes some getting used to. At the same time I hear you about enjoying your freedom from the constant responsibility of dog care. On that note, I wouldn't rush to replace. Give yourself some time to grieve and live for awhile without a dog and see how you feel down the road. Don't make decisions that require such a long commitment from you when emotions are running high.

    In between new pets, I've definitely taken some time out to travel, do things, enjoy that freedom for awhile. However, once I get all that out of my system, I start to miss life with a pet, so comes time when I get the next one. It works for me, because then I'm really ready for it and ready for all that's involved in the care and commitment of time and effort. It's a comfortable decision at that point.
    Thank you DancingFool. You're right about not rushing to replace an animal. It takes time to grieve and learn how to live without a dog. Snap decisions would be unwise. You're right about NOT making commitment decisions while emotions are running high. I agree with you. Emotions cloud judgment.

    Ok, I'll take time to take time out from everyday rigors of former pet rearing. For the longest time we couldn't afford vacations. My last vacation was 13 years ago. I haven't step foot into a movie theater in 10 years because we're not avid movie goers. We don't dine out habitually. I hear you, it's time to enjoy some liberating freedom. I've spent so much money on a dog and vet bills. There was nothing left in the budget for indulgent spending all these years. After work, I'm a homebody. I'll do as you say and take life in the slow lane for a while. It takes time to heal from a heartbreak. Thank you DancingFool. You've been very kind.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    I am sorry for the loss of your furbaby. My furbaby just turned 9, and cannot imagine life without this super bossy, loud corgi dog. But like anyone, it's okay to take sometime to grieve.

    Would you get a rescue, adult or puppy? From a reputable breeder? Same breed? We also just adopted a rescue puppy, Blue Heeler, AKD, and holy F***K, housebreaking, ugh, I am now outside or my kids are outside like every hour. I have a dog sitter that visits in the afternoon. And we just steam cleaned the carpets. But she is so nice, and everyone loves her. Unlike the corgi who only likes me - so now the kids have a real family dog. But next month, our dogs will be vacationing separately as we head to a resort, and my folks are watching the corgi, while the sitter will be with the puppy. Odd, yes.

    I say, go and take an awesome vacay. For the adoption fee, $400, vets bills just for shot and exams, $300, supplies for pupplies, $200, $380 for puppy Kindergarten, and have to get her spayed, which is another $400...so really, take a vacay. And then go to adoption events, and see if you find another doggy you happen to love, or just visting, and you leave your food on the coffee table and anywhere you want!

    When I was in college, and I lost my 2nd ferret, I was devastated. My friend got me a third right away, and while I love that ferret, it felt really weird and I felt burdened. Sometimes it can be too soon.

    But if you are really torn up, do not get any dog. Meet them several times. Sometimes you are so torn up, you think a dog at a pound may be the love of your life, when really you're just feeling vulnerable.
    Thank you tattoobunnie! I appreciated your kind words very much.

    I would most likely get the same Golden Retriever (GR) breed as a puppy but not too young. My previous GR was 4 mos when we adopted her. I hear you about how much work a puppy is in the beginning! Your kids have a real family dog to grow up with. Have a great time at the resort. It sounds very enjoyable and relaxing. You and your kids need a break from housebreaking the puppy!

    Yes, those bills rack up and cost a king's ransom! I love your sense of humor regarding leaving food on the coffee table! Thanks for the chuckle!

    It's understandable that you felt burdened after your friend got you a 3rd ferret. It's not the same when you hadn't healed from your heartbreak of losing the 2nd ferret. Too much too soon. You're right.

    You're right about it being unwise to adopt any dog when you feel so vulnerable and raw. I need to be patient and learn to wait. Haste makes waste. I couldn't agree more with your wisdom. Thank you tattoobunnie.

  4. #24
    Member Flipp's Avatar
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    When I lost my previous dog, I talked to a breeder the next day (In Norway the adopt/shelter situation is in no way like it is in the US or Britian, just so you know. I'd probably adopt if there was available, suitable dogs, but most dogs up for adoption in Norway have severe issues and was given up because of that).

    The puppy I bought was born the day after we lost our old dog, so there was a 10 week gap between them. It was horrible, and things was so much better when the new, little one moved in. That pup is now 11 years old, and I'm thinking that the day she goes, I'll have to get another dog the next day or so. I'll always have dogs, so the responsibility is just life for me. It's not really about replacing the old dog, but filling a void with something other than tears and sadness. So for me grieving time is just counter productive. I'll love the old dog the same, but I'll have someone else to focus on.

    That being said, I'll probably die a little when this one goes.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    My heart goes out to you, Cherylyn. It's shocking how strongly losing a beloved pet can strike us, even if we prepare ourselves. Your plan to enjoy some liberation time is wise. We're the only ones who can measure how much pet responsibility weighs in relation to knowing that so many unwanted pets need a good home.

    One idea is to consider fostering. This is a temporary agreement to house an animal until a home is found to keep it loved and outside of living in a cage. Of course it's difficult to let go of animals we have come to love.

    Taking a trip may be helpful. You'll come home refreshed and you'll gain a clearer picture of whether another pet in your home can make it feel like more of a home.

  7. #26
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    You will know when the time is right. I waited 2 years. I did things i could do more easily without pets - travel, extra shifts, etc. When the time was right, I knew it. You may see a face on Petfinder or be at an adoption event and you might decide its time to start putting yourself out there about it. Don't rush into it, but don't wait forever. Do one thing you can't do while having a pet first, though, at least to me

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Flipp
    When I lost my previous dog, I talked to a breeder the next day (In Norway the adopt/shelter situation is in no way like it is in the US or Britian, just so you know. I'd probably adopt if there was available, suitable dogs, but most dogs up for adoption in Norway have severe issues and was given up because of that).

    The puppy I bought was born the day after we lost our old dog, so there was a 10 week gap between them. It was horrible, and things was so much better when the new, little one moved in. That pup is now 11 years old, and I'm thinking that the day she goes, I'll have to get another dog the next day or so. I'll always have dogs, so the responsibility is just life for me. It's not really about replacing the old dog, but filling a void with something other than tears and sadness. So for me grieving time is just counter productive. I'll love the old dog the same, but I'll have someone else to focus on.

    That being said, I'll probably die a little when this one goes.
    Thank you Flipp. I understand how painful it feels to be "dog less" even for one day after your previous dog passed away.

    I didn't know the way adoption is in Norway.

    Thank you for sharing your story about how your new puppy brought so much joy into your life. You have loving memories of your previous dog but it looks like your new dog helped fill that void in your heart. Healthy distractions such as the new dog is a mentally healthy perspective.

    Yes, a huge hole is left in our hearts when we say our final good-byes to our fur babies. It never gets easier. Thank you again, Flipp. I appreciated your kindness and sharing your story.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    My heart goes out to you, Cherylyn. It's shocking how strongly losing a beloved pet can strike us, even if we prepare ourselves. Your plan to enjoy some liberation time is wise. We're the only ones who can measure how much pet responsibility weighs in relation to knowing that so many unwanted pets need a good home.

    One idea is to consider fostering. This is a temporary agreement to house an animal until a home is found to keep it loved and outside of living in a cage. Of course it's difficult to let go of animals we have come to love.

    Taking a trip may be helpful. You'll come home refreshed and you'll gain a clearer picture of whether another pet in your home can make it feel like more of a home.
    Thank you catfeeder. I agree with you, it is indeed shocking how much attachment we have to our animals and when they're suddenly gone, it's difficult to function normally. Freedom and liberation are great in its own way. However, it doesn't feel like relief. It feels like: "Hooray! I have more time but now I have all of this sudden LONELY freedom."

    Fostering is a good idea. Thank you.

    I was never a dog person until this previous dog passed away recently. I grew up with a few backyard dogs during my childhood so my family never bonded with them which was unfortunate and shameful. I thought animals were gross because of those backyard dogs. My previous indoor dog changed me. I feel as if I can relate better to a dog than people! Imagine that. "Dogs never bite me, just humans." Thank you catfeeder. You're a nice person.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    You will know when the time is right. I waited 2 years. I did things i could do more easily without pets - travel, extra shifts, etc. When the time was right, I knew it. You may see a face on Petfinder or be at an adoption event and you might decide its time to start putting yourself out there about it. Don't rush into it, but don't wait forever. Do one thing you can't do while having a pet first, though, at least to me
    Thank you abitbroken. It's wise to wait 2 years. My neighbor said he waited 2 years, too. Life is definitely more convenient without pets. You're smart by not rushing into pet ownership while not waiting forever either. Ok, I'll try to do one thing I couldn't do while having a pet. I'll have to change my lifestyle since after work, I'm a homebody.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Thank you abitbroken. It's wise to wait 2 years. My neighbor said he waited 2 years, too. Life is definitely more convenient without pets. You're smart by not rushing into pet ownership while not waiting forever either. Ok, I'll try to do one thing I couldn't do while having a pet. I'll have to change my lifestyle since after work, I'm a homebody.
    I'm sorry about your loss!! So no personal experience but one dear friend did get another dog after their beloved older dog passed away -within maybe a year or less? Then I have a friend who just lost her elderly dog -maybe 15 years old -and I am reluctant to ask but I sense she's not in a rush because she really did take it hard - understandably! Also she has two young children and might not want to take on a puppy or foster right now. Wish you the best.

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