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Sitting with it


1a1a

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Bumped into a guy the other day that I could have dated in a parallel universe. The mutual attraction was there, but I was on the precipice of wreckonciling with my ex and I followed my heart that way, and this guy moved interstate anyway so, although we’ve chatted online once in a blue moon, we haven’t been face to face since.

 

But now he’s back in town for 6 months and very yes I want to catch up and see if that spark is still there, and if he’s still interested (of course there is every chance his interest is long forgotten but mine remains and I’m a much better version of myself than I was then...) So I’ve sent him a text asking if he’d like to catch up, which he read, and didn’t respond to. That was this afternoon, the day is done and gone now.

 

Certainly if he isn’t interested he was never the one that got away. If he isn’t interested that will have a negligible impact on my life. No answer Is the answer. Still, disappointing

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Well, if you had a breakup that relationship might not be too good so I can understand you shopping around.

 

But this guy is in town for six months - THIS MEANS HE WILL LEAVE YOU IN SIX MONTHS, if you should get together. Do you really want to get involved with a man who will leave you?

 

You need to make better choices girl. I think you have not met Mr. Right yet.

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I like to think I have a guardian angel who watches out for me and knows what's best for me in the long run. I know that once I really wanted a guy so badly and didn't know he was secretly dating a woman, but they didn't want anyone to know because of office gossip. When they broke up, the lady told me he had a drinking problem and had some anger issues. When my husband was laid off, we were really disappointed when he didn't get certain jobs he applied for. He ended up getting a far better job than the ones he'd applied for, and then we were happy he hadn't gotten those jobs that seemed so important before that.

 

Best to have the mindset that if something doesn't work out, something better awaits you in the future. Take care.

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Why will it have a negligible impact on your life?

 

Negligible means, basically, "no biggie." As in: OP recognizes that, while "disappointing," it's all "no biggie." She remains herself, a better version of herself, all good.

 

I will say that it's worth exploring what's going on under the hood when you reach out to someone with a built-in expiration date. Best case scenario there, being realistic? The attraction is there, the connection is good, that parallel reality becomes reality, and then...real disappointment when the clock hits month six.

 

Just something to think about.

 

My spidey sense tells me you may have just dodged your own bullet here—that this was a micro-step on the path to being back "out there" but that, big picture, you'll be happier exploring something with someone who isn't leaving town.

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Pardon, are you still in contact with your ex? If you're in the process of anything with anyone else, try not to spread yourself too thinly and pursue romance with a third party. If you're completely single and ready to mingle, don't worry. There are plenty of opportunities. Stay positive.

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Just as you weren't in the right place last time, it might be his turn to be in the wrong place. Interest is always relative to where a person is at any given time. He maybe viewing a 6 month stay to be too limited for an investment, who knows? I'd also consider that not everyone answers every text right away. You never know what someone is in the middle of doing when they see it.

 

Head high.

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