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Thread: Husband hiding money

  1. #1
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    Husband hiding money

    When I met my husband he'd recently got divorced. He told me he got a settlement of 50k. So fast forward we got married which I paid for, we moved into a new house as to which he gave me loads of crap cos I didn't have the funds to buy furniture (I'd just paid for our wedding).
    Today I find out he's got over 55k in 3 different accounts. He only told me a few days ago his money is nearly gone. I just don't understand why he'd keep it from me.
    I wouldn't care as much but the way he was with me, he was horrible and he was sitting on probably about 100k

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Find or get your attorney to consult a forensic accountant. Whatever he had prior to marriage is not joint property, check with your attorney. He hid it during his divorce and he'll hide it from you, that's who he is and what he does. You need excellent financial, accounting, banking and legal advice. Don't depend on him for any of that.

  3. #3
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    I agree with wiseman, of course... but from a relationship perspective - I donít understand this dynamic?

    Why did you pay for the entire wedding? Why would that not have been 50/50? You must have had a reason in your head as to why this was happening?

    Also - why did he think it was your responsibility to buy furniture? Should that also not have been 50/50?

    Is he unemployed? Is he disabled?

    I feel there is more to this story re: this dynamic.

  4. #4
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    Oooh heck! I had a relationship where I paid for nearly everything because he was self-employed and apparently broke... and then found out that he had actually been earning more money than I had. The relationship didn't end well. There are people around who view a partner as a resource to be exploited, rather than someone to share their life with. My guy turned really nasty when I couldn't afford to subsidise him any more, and this may be happening to you. It might also be useful to find out why his marriage ended.

    Get legal advice immediately; he's keeping this stuff from you because, well, he intends to keep it to himself - while you bear the financial burdens of your relationship going forward.

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  6. #5
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    Good advice here. Have you seen the divorce decree?

  7. #6
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    His ex divorced on unreasonable behaviour. I did see his divorce papers and he was basically an arsehole with her.
    I paid for the wedding because I wanted to I could afford it so I paid but I didn't expect his reaction when we moved.he hardly spoke to me for a whole year and to be honest things haven't got any better. The thing is aswel I earn more than him so I pay more and to find he's basically loaded as made me sick. I don't know him at all

  8. #7
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    If he can lie about this he can lie about anything

  9. #8
    Originally Posted by DonnaHolmes
    His ex divorced on unreasonable behavior. I did see his divorce papers and he was basically an arsehole with her.
    I paid for the wedding because I wanted to I could afford it so I paid but I didn't expect his reaction when we moved.he hardly spoke to me for a whole year and to be honest things haven't got any better. The thing is as well I earn more than him so I pay more and to find he's basically loaded as made me sick. I don't know him at all
    Seeing those divorce papers and his behavior toward his ex should've been the biggest red flag. He'll likely screw you over in a divorce too.

  10. #9
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    His ex divorced on unreasonable behaviour. I did see his divorce papers and he was basically an arsehole with her.
    You are beginning to experience his arsehole behaviour with you, too. It can be easy to tell ourselves that if someone was particularly badly behaved in a previous relationship, it must have been because of the other person - and it won't happen to us. I wish I'd paid more attention to the fact that my ex had a previous conviction for domestic violence, for example....

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Get divorced asap. He basically handed you a legal document stating what you've signed up for. Immediately try to sever all your finances. As soon as you file for divorce he can't hide or take your money. Never try to buy love/a husband, especially when you know in advance that he's abusive and deceitful.
    Originally Posted by DonnaHolmes
    I did see his divorce papers and he was basically an arsehole with her.
    I paid for the wedding because I wanted to I could afford it.
    I earn more than him so I pay more and to find he's basically loaded as made me sick

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