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Thread: I screwed up big time. Will he ever forgive me?

  1. #1
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    I screwed up big time. Will he ever forgive me?

    I got back together with my ex (we broke up five years ago, he left me just before my heart surgery bc said we were toxic) we talked some during the five years apart but always ended up fighting. Anyways we recently got back together four months ago and the idea was that we work towards a relationship again and go to counselling. Due to my schedule we only saw each other every second weekend. Sometimes I visit him once during the week. We live an hour bus ride from each other.

    Anyways he was coming up by bus to see me. He bought me a google home for Christmas and these smart lightbulbs for Valentineís Day which was a lot of money. He texted me every day. But I couldnít get it out of my head that he wasnít going to hurt me again so I questioned things. I questioned why he never called me, why he didnít tell anyone about me, why he didnít say he loved me. He would always get angry when I asked a question feeling that I wanted to start a fight

    After the fight before the blowout he agreed to go to counselling for one session but said he didnít think it would work. He came to see me again and gave me the lightbulbs. Anyways the next day I asked him if he had the same
    Feelings for me as when we originally got together as he hasnít told his parents we got back together. He flipped out. I tried to fix it by asking to speak on phone but said we were done and clearly we were a horrible couple. This led to a three week fight through messages. I over messaged him. He told me I was insufferable, epic complainer, pick and prod at everything to drive anyone insane, told me to f**k off and leave him alone several times and to go f**k another guy.

    Anyways on the weekend before he dumped me he agreed to talk on the phone and made it seem like we were getting back together by saying your next gift is a bong. Well he didnít show up for the phone call and when I texted him about it he said f**k off cant I even take a nap. I didnít message for a day but then got upset bc I didnít hear from him so
    I sent some emails to him while he was at work. He dumped me in between meetings and told me to f**k off again. Said we were too much drama and he didnít want the stress. Says Iíve been an for the past month.

    I admit when he ignores me I over send messages and some can be nasty. I have apologized for same. I have apologized for messaging too much and not being more positive and appreciative in the relationship. I am frustrated bc although I realize I contribute to the drama I think if we just discussed stuff in this first place none of this drama
    Or stress would happen but he refuses to see that and just says terrible fit/toxic etc. I have not heard from him for a week now and I think I have completely destroyed us. Is there any way to salvage this? He doesnít usually swear at me like that. When I stated I was hurt that he was breaking up with me again he said that I dumped him 20 times this past month. I do not remember doing this but he must feel my messages are dumping him...
    Last edited by charis32; 03-20-2019 at 03:53 AM. Reason: Additional info

  2. #2
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    You two need to stay broken up for good.

    Youíre awful together.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Charisbear78
    Is there any way to salvage this?
    Why on earth do you want to try to salvage this? What part of anything that you wrote in your post sounds like the kind of life you want to have with someone? Why is he so important that you want to live through such stress just to kinda be with someone?

  4. #4
    I can see why he thinks your relationship is toxic. It is. You didn't specify it but by what i have read, I can see you have insecurity issues. Your constant harassment is too much for him to take. Maybe its not couples counselling you need. I think you should see a Councillor alone as it seems you are the one with the problems. You cant let anything go and he cant take it.

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  6. #5
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    Well when itís good, itís really good. We have a good time together and before the fight he claimed to be content. He has always been super helpful shoveling my driveway or lending me some cash when Iím running short before payday that one time. He seemed excited about me but I just get something in my head that heís not serious about me and I ruin everything.

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    Yes I am super insecure. But he knew that from being with me in the past and fighting over the years so why bother coming back. I was even more insecure this time bc he already shown that he could leave me in an ICU bed and not come back. I screwed up with the messaging. I guess thereís no way of salvaging it then?

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    While I did mess up with overtexting during the fight when we are getting along I barely text, usually just in response to when he initiated.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Classic toxic abusive relationship. Read up on abusive relationships. Educate yourself on the cycle of violence. Google them right now.
    Originally Posted by Charisbear78
    Well when itís good, itís really good.

  10. #9
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    Heís not violent

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok if you would rather keep hearing f-you rather than ily then continue with him and don't educate yourself on violence and abuse.
    Originally Posted by Charisbear78
    He told me I was insufferable, epic complainer, pick and prod at everything to drive anyone insane, told me to f**k off and leave him alone several times and to go f**k another guy.
    your next gift is a bong.
    he said f**k off cant I even take a nap.
    told me to f**k off again.
    he said that I dumped him 20 times this past month. I do not remember doing this

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