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Thread: Sitting with it

  1. #1
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014

    Sitting with it

    Bumped into a guy the other day that I could have dated in a parallel universe. The mutual attraction was there, but I was on the precipice of wreckonciling with my ex and I followed my heart that way, and this guy moved interstate anyway so, although weíve chatted online once in a blue moon, we havenít been face to face since.

    But now heís back in town for 6 months and very yes I want to catch up and see if that spark is still there, and if heís still interested (of course there is every chance his interest is long forgotten but mine remains and Iím a much better version of myself than I was then...) So Iíve sent him a text asking if heíd like to catch up, which he read, and didnít respond to. That was this afternoon, the day is done and gone now.

    Certainly if he isnít interested he was never the one that got away. If he isnít interested that will have a negligible impact on my life. No answer Is the answer. Still, disappointing

  2. #2
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Land of Wind & Ghosts
    Well, if you had a breakup that relationship might not be too good so I can understand you shopping around.

    But this guy is in town for six months - THIS MEANS HE WILL LEAVE YOU IN SIX MONTHS, if you should get together. Do you really want to get involved with a man who will leave you?

    You need to make better choices girl. I think you have not met Mr. Right yet.

  3. #3
    You have your answer. He's not interested, and only in town for 6 months so whats the point. Why will it have a negligible impact on your life? You never had anything with this guy, never saw him. What difference does it make?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    central Florida
    I like to think I have a guardian angel who watches out for me and knows what's best for me in the long run. I know that once I really wanted a guy so badly and didn't know he was secretly dating a woman, but they didn't want anyone to know because of office gossip. When they broke up, the lady told me he had a drinking problem and had some anger issues. When my husband was laid off, we were really disappointed when he didn't get certain jobs he applied for. He ended up getting a far better job than the ones he'd applied for, and then we were happy he hadn't gotten those jobs that seemed so important before that.

    Best to have the mindset that if something doesn't work out, something better awaits you in the future. Take care.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Originally Posted by RayofLighten
    Why will it have a negligible impact on your life?
    Negligible means, basically, "no biggie." As in: OP recognizes that, while "disappointing," it's all "no biggie." She remains herself, a better version of herself, all good.

    I will say that it's worth exploring what's going on under the hood when you reach out to someone with a built-in expiration date. Best case scenario there, being realistic? The attraction is there, the connection is good, that parallel reality becomes reality, and then...real disappointment when the clock hits month six.

    Just something to think about.

    My spidey sense tells me you may have just dodged your own bullet hereóthat this was a micro-step on the path to being back "out there" but that, big picture, you'll be happier exploring something with someone who isn't leaving town.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    British Columbia, Canada
    Pardon, are you still in contact with your ex? If you're in the process of anything with anyone else, try not to spread yourself too thinly and pursue romance with a third party. If you're completely single and ready to mingle, don't worry. There are plenty of opportunities. Stay positive.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    Just as you weren't in the right place last time, it might be his turn to be in the wrong place. Interest is always relative to where a person is at any given time. He maybe viewing a 6 month stay to be too limited for an investment, who knows? I'd also consider that not everyone answers every text right away. You never know what someone is in the middle of doing when they see it.

    Head high.

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