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Thread: How to let go of the little things?

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by RedDress
    I think there is a lot of analysis and overthink here.

    I have a cousin who is like this. We値l have tentative plans. I値l text at the time to see if it痴 still on. I wait 5 mins and then I make a decision and tell him about it.

    徹k... well, I知 not hearing back from you so I知 going to go ahead and take a shower/do some errands/whatever it is I知 going to do. Text me later!

    Or if he suddenly drops from the conversation:

    徹k... so, I see you are busy. I知 going to go do XYZ. Chat later!

    I get that it痴 super annoying to feel 登n hold... so just 塗ang up! Don稚 wait for him to end the conversation - if you need that closure - end it yourself!

    No need to get stressy about it or worry about what you 電eserve, IMO. Just take control of the situation yourself.

    JMO
    This is good. I've never even thought of doing this, Im definitely going to try this becaus e even though I know I skj d very unhappy with these posts, I'm not. It's just been a bad week/couple of days. I love him a lot and don't want to break up but if things are just always going to be like this I just can't do it

  2. #32
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Just don't make tentative plans over menial activities. If there's a chance something will clash, avoid that issue altogether and just plan for another time. For many people, "Let me know if it works out we can do [x] at [x]" means they'll inform you of the affirmative, and otherwise leave it to be assumed the event which you both knew could clash did indeed clash. I wouldn't say it's conventionally the most efficient way to communicate, but I hardly consider it negligent. Don't be the martyr no one asked for living life with a pencil and a planner just to work around his schedule.

    And I wouldn't even play the "I see you're busy" game. What's the point? Either way you're leaving it for the other person to get back to you. 9 times out of 10, it'll just serve as a passive aggressive gesture.

    To add, I can count on maybe two fingers the amount of things I've "adjusted" with my wife in mind over the 5+ years we've been together. Even then, it was never "for her." I saw a benefit for myself and did it. I didn't keep score and assume now she gets to change in a way I'd prefer. It's easy to live this way when you accept your partner for who they are and you. I can safely say any compromises we make are strictly logistical, never anything related to character or behavioral style.

  3. #33
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    Thank you everyone for the replies. From everything I've read from you guys I think I'll just be more grown up about things. He is my first bf so there were a couple experiences I wanted to do with a boyfriend but I realize sometimes that it doesn't work out that way and that that's ok.

    Im going to reset and shake off the things that have happened that last few days. If something comes up again, I will call him out and explain calmly. If that still doesn't work, I guess we're just incompatible, which honestly sucks because I do love him lots

  4. #34
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    Honestly don稚 sweat it. Everyone痴 is different with messaging. He could be busy or easily distracted and some people aren稚 always on their phones. I can understand it can be annoying but try not to let these kind of things get to you, if he痴 a good boyfriend and makes you happy generally that all that matters!

  5.  

  6. #35
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    As long as your texting / messaging isn't excessive and if he still refuses to drop you a line and completely ignores you, then he is considered very rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful. Discuss this issue with him and resolve it with him. If he refuses to cooperate or compromise, then you need to ask yourself if you want to remain in a relationship with him. He needs to be at least reasonable. Either accept him the way he is or figure out if he's worth it to you or not.

    Beware. Little problems grow into bigger problems down the road.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by egyptianmau
    I like this a lot. Talking myself into being better about this doesn't mean he's taking advantage of me right? In this case it would just be regulating my emotions? I just really don't want to be taken advantage of again because that's what happened with the previous guy.
    How does not answering a text right away equate to taking advantage of you?

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