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Thread: We both like each other but we are too shy to make a move

  1. #1

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    We both like each other but we are too shy to make a move

    So there is this guy, and we have a thing, like I approached him last year and we kind of hit it off, but since he has no social media, its kinda hard to keep up with him and its a new year and he is being so shy again and he gives me mixed signals and i dont know what to do. people say we still have something and i believe it coz i can feel it with him but i dont want to approach him again incase i come out too desperate or something

    what should i do?

  2. #2
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    What should you do?

    Either ask him out yourself or simply enjoy the flirtation for what it is, nothing more, nothing less.

    I have no idea what you mean by you and him have a "thing" nor do I know what you mean by "mixed signals" but in my experience when a guy is into you, he will make that known by asking you out.

    Even shy guys will do this!

    Nor will he send mixed signals.

    Take what your friends say with a pinch of salt and consider that you may be projecting your strong feelings of attraction on to him, which is quite common.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 03-19-2019 at 06:47 PM.

  3. #3
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    I don't know how old you guys are, but if your really like him and think he feels the same way I say just be straight up with him. It's probably going to be really hard cause you say you're shy but in my opinion, it's better to give it a shot rather then wonder what could have happened if only you asked him out

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Lol, yes, you may still have a crush on each other if you have never been alone together one-on-one in a environment where you could have that first kiss. Crushes can last for years.

    I guess until one of you asks the other to hang out or he takes you behind the bleachers for a kiss, it will just be a crush!

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  6. #5

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    But the thing is, I did talk to him last year, well not really talk but i asked him if we could hang out you know to get to know each other, and he agreed. but when i was waiting for him, he didnt show up and i was really disappointed. coz his friends also said he had a thing for me so when they asked him why didnt he show up he said he "forgot" and that created my doubts.

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    Originally Posted by shygirl204
    But the thing is, I did talk to him last year, well not really talk but i asked him if we could hang out you know to get to know each other, and he agreed. but when i was waiting for him, he didnt show up and i was really disappointed. coz his friends also said he had a thing for me so when they asked him why didnt he show up he said he "forgot" and that created my doubts.
    Have you guys spoken since?

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by shygirl204
    But the thing is, I did talk to him last year, well not really talk but i asked him if we could hang out you know to get to know each other, and he agreed. but when i was waiting for him, he didnt show up and i was really disappointed. coz his friends also said he had a thing for me so when they asked him why didnt he show up he said he "forgot" and that created my doubts.
    This doesn't sound good. Your approach i.e. to hangout instead of a date with the intention of asking him out later is actually standard advice I would give to someone, not just if they're shy, but in general. And it works.

    But if he is into you but too shy, I think put it to bed. Give him one last chance - either ask out or give the invitation to hang out. Main thing is to make sure you make your intentions clear fairly quickly. And if he flakes again, just move on with no hard feelings. He's probably a good guy but with issues saying directly to a woman if he likes her.

    If all doesn't go well, it's time to work on your bravery around dating.

    Recently I've been doing an exercise suggested to me where I do more and more things to get out there and talk to women where it starts with saying hi to people, smiling at people etc and ends with chatting up strangers. As long as you're good with boundaries and good with warmth it is amazing. One surprising effect is that even when not trying people come up to more and I've even had female strangers in the park saying hi to me when I wasn't trying to make contact. And going going up to women at a bar is so much easier. Thing is it helps that I have had years of personal development and can handle it when things don't always go right and usually get over things within hrs if not minutes - if you still have issues, particularly with putting yourself out there it may be worth talking to a counsellor about it. Putting yourself out there doesn't always have to be about "taking the plunge" but you can't avoid it either.


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