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Thread: My journal to help heal.(hopefully!) may contain triggers.

  1. #21
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    Sadly due to my salary basically being halved the bank have confirmed now they will not help remortgage or consolidate my debts so i am going to have to sell my home. 2.5 years of nonstop hardwork all for nothing. I literally killed myself over this house 2 years ago. All for nothing. What a waste of time. It's true i will walk away with a considerable sum of money but that doesnt even come close to being worth the 2 years of hell i've gone through.

    What a waste of time and life.

  2. #22
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    Yep spoke to the bank and they cannot do anything so i have to get my house up for sale. All this bull5hit for the last few years, literally killed myself over it very briefly which in turn cost me my relationship and after all is said and done i lose the home. Fantastic.

  3. #23
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    2 years ago today i had my accident, i don't think i will ever fully be the same. I should be grateful that i am no longer suicidal but i don't know if i can face another 40+ years of having no memory.

  4. #24
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    Well first week at new job, seems pretty easy, the people are cool and once i've finished my days tasks i can head home early! Only downside is the lower pay and night shifts. Still lets see how it goes. After 3 months out of work im just happy to be of use again.

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  6. #25
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    New job is still fine, seem like a genuinely decent company which is the polar opposite of my last job who literally didn't care if i lived or died. Money is a bit better than expected but still can't quite afford to keep my home.

    Part of me is saying althoguh this job is ok is it what i want to do the rest of my life? Now im single and obligation free i've got the urge to go and teach English around the world, especially the Far East. Stick or twist time in my life.

  7. #26
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    Well i have very few/little DPDR episodes now my PTSD is gone. My depression is all but gone and my anxiety has reduced significantly. Just went a whole month without therapy which is great considering 4 months ago i had to have 2 different types a week to stop me potentially doing somehting bad to myself. Most importantly my memories are returning and my brain fog is pretty much gone. I'm still not as sharp as i was before my accident but i'd say i'm at about 80% of being the full me which i cannot quite believe! I genunely thought i'd be a brainded zombie for the next 40+ years.

    The fire in my belly is re-igniting, i am becoming more socialable and looking forward to spending with people. My sense of humour is returning. Honestly so happy i could cry.

  8. #27
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    Ok so my uncle died yesterday and thats kind of brought my DPDR stuff back. I think it's because i am not close to him and on a personal level didn't like him but i guess i'm feeling guilty for not being that bothered. He had a short battle with cancer which he lost after 6 months so even though i'm not keen on him i feel bad he had to suffer through his illness. I just can't level that sympathy i do have for him with not being particularly upset.

    My house is finally on the market and that nightmare chapter of my life is set to be all done with over the next few months and on the plus side i'm due to walk away with around 250k ( in US dollars) after all debts are cleared for a fresh start.

  9. #28
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    Can't stop thinking abut my own near death experience since my uncle died. Depression, anxiety and DPDR have all returned. I have therapy tommorow by chance thank the stars. I really need this session.

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