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Thread: One night stand with coworker now pregnant

  1. #1

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    One night stand with coworker now pregnant

    Hey. Guys so i have a friend who is in a complicated situation!

    She met a guy at work they started messaging each other she met him at his place they had sex. Now.shes pregnant. When she went to discuss it with the guy he first said that "he couldnt do this because he was getting back with his kids mama" and asked my friend not to tell anybody about them.

    He then blocked her. Well after going to the dr and re confirming the pregnancy she had to make another fb profile just to message him. She told him that she got it confirmed. And he messaged her back and first said "he cant have kids" then.sent a follow up message stating "i didnt cum in you i pulled out i was sober".

    My friend tells him that she will gladly Pay for a dna test when she is able to get one. Even though she hasnt been with anyone else but him. And after telling him that he blocked her again.

    What should she do?

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    She will have to go to court after she has the baby. Zero she can do now.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    However, stories like these reiterate why there is always always always always always always a need for condoms .

  4. #4
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    She has a decision to make. Is she prepared to raise a child as a single mom?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    She waits until the kid is born and undergoes the process to collect child support should the baby make it to term and should she decide to keep him or her, whether in considering abortion or adoption. Not sure what all she's expecting to come from these conversations. She's going to choose what she's going to choose, as is and should be her right, and his apathy toward that fact would seem to speak for itself. I get it would be nice if he'd hold her hand whenever she visits the clinic and help with preparations, even if in a strictly platonic capacity, but I wouldn't expect an incredible level of maturity out of either him or her if they were willing to resort to raw dogging and pulling out during a one-night stand. Hopefully if or when the kid becomes much more of a pending reality, he'll decide to step up as a father, but I wouldn't expect him to want much, if anything to do with anything until then.

    Assuming no force or coercion, the only party I tend to feel bad for in these situations is the child.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    What should she do?
    Well, if it were me, I'd have an abortion. The last thing I would want is to be tied to some one night stand. If she's not open to that then she should get a lawyer and find out what her rights are. Do you/she know where he lives/works/his last name?

    She met a guy at work
    Does she work with him or was she just at work and he came in to do business there or something?

    Water under the bridge now but she should carry some condoms with her and if the guy won't put it on then she should get up and leave. Tell her that for the future. She should get a full STD panel done if she hasn't already.

  8. #7
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    Depending on where she lives she can give up the baby shortly after birth with no cost or penalty.

    For example, California.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure, mentally/psychologically, what she's looking for. This was a one night stand and it wasn't a relationship. I don't feel like she's thinking this through. She now has the option to raise a child independently of a father that wants nothing to do with it. She should ask herself what she wants to do with the pregnancy but also, to what end is bothering the father going to do at this point if he simply does not want to have anything to do with the child? Is she looking for financial support? For ownership of what happened? Is she looking for support in general because she doesn't want to go through this pregnancy alone? What does she want?

    After she figures out what she wants, she needs to weigh it against the reality of the situation and what her real options are. She might want to think about the type of mother (if she chooses to go through with the pregnancy) she wants to be and what type of life she wants to provide for the child. She's got much bigger fish to fry, in my mind, than pursuing an obstinate or negligent father. Think forwards and build solutions.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Tell you friend welcome to the wonderful world of having unprotected casual sex!

    The concern for STDís alone... yeesh... but to each their own.

    She really doesnít have any choice when it comes to him, heís letrinf it be known heís not going to be there and will protest custody. If she chooses to continue with the pregnancy she will have to establish paternity and child support.

    Itís going to be rough for her for sure. Hard 18 year lesson to learn, use condoms...

    Also like this guy you donít truly know your friends sexual history, especially if she was willing to have sex unprotected with a one night stand. She could just be saying that to you, unless your friend is you, which I kinda suspect given the amount of knowledge you have about her situation.

    Itís going to be ok, whatever she decides itíll be ok. Donít depend on him though, he closed the door, if he chooses to open it awesome if not, she has to do what she has to do.

  11. #10
    He's trying to get out of his responsibility and not have his current gf find out. He's half to blame for this. Tell his gf, make him step up and stop being an ass.

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