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Thread: I canít deal with another personís emotional issues

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I canít deal with another personís emotional issues

    In May I am going to a convention. I am president of our local organization. The past president wants to stay with me in my room so she doesnít have to pay. The organization pays for me so therefore if she stays in my room she doesnít have to pay .

    My biggest issue is that she is an emotional nuclear bomb always threatening to go off. Any public event the organization is part of you can bet there will be some kind of embarrassing emotional explosion . I have to spend three nights in a room with this person . Iím not sure how I will be able to handle it because I might have to run away screaming . It is extremely hard for me to tolerate people vomiting their drama all over the place . However, I have to be at this event , itís not something I can back out of .

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Forgot further to add that she is also a friend and also a friend of many other friends that I have . So that makes it very tricky .

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    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    This is a really tricky issue. Can she not afford to pay for a room of her own? Here's what I might say to her:

    "Mary, I think your staying in my room with me will be very stressful. I need to have a place where I can have some down time and privacy during the convention, and I'd really appreciate it if you could get your own room."

    Maybe even recommend some nearby cheaper hotels.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    This is a really tricky issue. Can she not afford to pay for a room of her own? Here's what I might say to her:

    "Mary, I think your staying in my room with me will be very stressful. I need to have a place where I can have some down time and privacy during the convention, and I'd really appreciate it if you could get your own room."

    Maybe even recommend some nearby cheaper hotels.
    We all stay at the same hotel because it is a massive convention but we usually bunk 4 to a room to save money and rooms are booked two months in advance. She would be one of the 4 in the room. So I canít really say go get your own room when two other people are staying there with me.

    Sorry I forgot to put that part in there .

    I just know though I wonít be able to take her vomiting her drama everywhere .

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Forgot further to add that she is also a friend and also a friend of many other friends that I have . So that makes it very tricky .
    Can't you just tell her that you are there to have a good time and any negativity is off limits for the whole trip. No whining from you or her. Include yourself in there so she doesn't think you're centering her out. If she starts, just tell her "Nuh...Huh we made a pact not to go there."

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Can't you just tell her that you are there to have a good time and any negativity is off limits for the whole trip. No whining from you or her. Include yourself in there so she doesn't think you're centering her out.
    I can try that. She is always posting on FB about people bullying her etc about her mental health issues . I get it I do. I canít tolerate her because I have my own issues . She runs to me about who has ď bulliedĒ her this time. Her daughters are the same. I just thank God they are not coming this year . Even as I was installed as president one of her daughter showed up crying and bawling and interrupted the whole ceremony.

    I just donít know what to do with her anymore other than a bit of Toughlove and she will accuse me and talk about me with everybody saying Iím ď bullyingĒher .

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    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Is your organization requiring this of you? I can mildly understand them paying so them setting the terms (though assuming your position isn't paid, it'd be the most basic of courtesies they could extend you), but it seems awfully ****ty they'd just bunk you with someone else without giving you an easy out if you'd prefer not to. She's not president anymore, so boo-hoo. They're not doing you some amazing favor by you letting you put in the work to represent them at this convention. Sorry.... I'm betting politics probably has your hands tied, so maybe you can take solace in knowing you're taking a very high road in all this.

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    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    I'd be at the bar. Kidding. But I would probably only go in the room to sleep. I bet they have a nice pool, and other rooms or a restaurant/ bar in the hotel ?

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    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    You would do well, then, to try to separate yourself from her as much as possible.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I can try that. She is always posting on FB about people bullying her etc about her mental health issues . I get it I do. I canít tolerate her because I have my own issues . She runs to me about who has ď bulliedĒ her this time. Her daughters are the same. I just thank God they are not coming this year . Even as I was installed as president one of her daughter showed up crying and bawling and interrupted the whole ceremony.

    I just donít know what to do with her anymore other than a bit of Toughlove and she will accuse me and talk about me with everybody saying Iím ď bullyingĒher .
    Just phase it so that it doesn't come across as bullying and do it in front of someone else so she can't accuse you of anything you're not doing.

    I hope you have fun an no drama. Good luck. :0)

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