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Thread: Ex still having loves notes and photos all around?

  1. #1
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    Ex still having loves notes and photos all around?

    Hi,

    I left my exgf 2.5 months ago because she was doubting her feelings for me for several months and I could not bear it any more.

    Last week I had to visit her home and to my surprise, our photos together were still on the wall. It is not only that she has not paid attention to the photos because she has added new ones (did not check wether any of them included me). Also, I used to leave here loving notes in the mornings and she kept them on the fridge. They are still there! Even she has moved some of them!

    I cannot understand this. On of her best girl friends says it is normal as it is a part of her life but how come if she is who was saying "I love you but I think I am not in love with you?" Is this a normal thing to you? Nobody I have talked to about this considers this normal but her friend. Perhaps I am wrong considering this is not normal?

    By the way, the psychologist told me that, in this case, she started the relationship with lots of fear (her ex left her and her child for her best friend). When we went (by my suggestion) to counseling she said one thing: "I was feeling bad because of my job. When I changed job, I still felt bad and thought about what can be wrong and the other thing I found was my boyfriend". So It seems she started to create a negative landscape around me for no reason looking for a way to fly. So it seems she was scaping, not because I was bad for her, but because of her own, internal problems. So it's been kinda weird situation and painful for me.

    And no, two and a half months later I find the photos, the notes, she has gained a lot of weight, sleeps badly, and says needs to think but cannot and all she does is watching Netflix to avoid thinking... So it seems more or less clear I was not the problem .

    What's your opinion about the photos, notes and everything? Has it happened to you something like this were personal problems were projected to you and destroyed your relationship?

    It's weird (at least for me).

  2. #2
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It sounds like she had a bad breakup with her ex and was on the rebound and never really loved you fully.

    But she did love you a little, for a time - and the pics remind her of better times, even though she may not want to get back together. People like to hold on to the past, it's human nature - especially when that past is all they have.

  3. #3
    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Why did you have to visit her home?

  4. #4

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    Some people do keep the photos up and others immediately take them down and some even burn them. I guess some people like to keep thoughts and images of there past and others just like to get rid of it all together. I really don't know why she would still have the need to display it all instead of maybe keeping all those past memories in a box, but maybe she has a reason for that. Many of my girlfriends still have photos on the IG pages of the EX BF and they said they are not taking it down. There reasoning it is part of there lives.

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  6. #5
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    The breakup is still fresh. So what if she still has a photo up of the two of you. its her right to do so and when she is ready on her own, she may do something else with them. Why do you care?

  7. #6
    You are broken up. What she does with her life now is not your concern. If she wants to keep the notes and photos then that's her perogative. This shouldn't matter to you and no longer has anything to do with you. You do not have a right to judge her for this. She is simply just not ready to let those little things go just yet and that's ok. Why did you have to visit her home?

  8. #7
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    Perhaps, but the breakup was 7 years ago and inbetween she has had another 2 years relationship...

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Why did you have to visit her home?
    His child wrote to me to visit him :-(. I miss him a lot.

  10. #9

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    Originally Posted by pepelillo
    Perhaps, but the breakup was 7 years ago and inbetween she has had another 2 years relationship...
    I wonder what the person she was in the 2 year relationship thought of the little notes and pictures on the wall then?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    The breakup is still fresh. So what if she still has a photo up of the two of you. its her right to do so and when she is ready on her own, she may do something else with them. Why do you care?
    I care because, for me, it is quite strange. Didnt know that people could act like this.

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